Still finding out, after all this time...

[Cynder]

I don't know if this is the right place for this...

 

I dated my ex bf, S, for six years. It has been years since we broke up, and I have gotten over him. I'm married now and haven't seen him since shortly after the break up.

 

But, I still find things out that happened behind my back during the relationship.

 

I guess I'll just run down these things in order...

 

First off, the last year of my relationship wioth S was miserable. All of a sudden he became a really mean person. He didn't want to see me much, and when we did see each other he treated me like crap. He kept telling me he wanted to concentrate on "getting his life together" and this took priority over me. I thought it was a bogus excuse, but having been with someone that long, I figured he was entitled to a little space if he wanted it. He did insist during this time though, that we were still together. He also kept telling me there was no one else.

 

Like, for example of how he treated me. He called one night and asked me to go out to dinner with him. I was thrilled. I got all dolled up. He picked me up an hour late with his friend and his friend's girlfriend. He said before we went to the restaraunt they had to stop at an auto parts store. His friends went to buy almost $500 worth of car parts. They didn't have the money, so S tried to talk me into buying this stuff for them. He put me on the spot right infront of them. When I told him I wouldn't do it, we all got in his car and they dropped me off back at my house. That's how mean he was.

 

About a year after the brak up, this girl he had dated after me contacted me. She told me he had cheated on her with another man. She told me this thing with the other guy had been going on since he was with me, so I should probably get tested for diseases if I hadn't already done so. She also told me she had suspicions he had molested her daughters.

 

About a year after that, another girlfriend pops up. She told me that S and his two friends (the auto parts friends) were into having threesomes and wanted her to participate. She wouldn't, so he dumped her. The threesomes were going on while he was still with me too.

 

Both of the girls told me that he is still obsessed with me. They said he talks about me constantly. Usually not good talk though. He tells everyone I'm a prostitute, that I'm a thief. He has said that my mom and I are both hookers and ran a 'business' out of the house I grew up in. He also tells people I made him go 20,000 dollars in debt. I don't know where he is getting that.

 

When we were together, he took nude photos of me. In the break up I got the photos and the negatives back. But apparently he made copies before he gave them back to me, because he shows them to everyone he knows!!!

 

A mutual friend of mine and his has come back into my life recently. This guy, E, has told me all kinds of nasty stories. During the last year of my relationship with S, when we were still 'together', he was telling everyone that he had dumped me months ago and I was crazy and stalking him. He was also openly dating other women. S still tells everyone that I was the one who cheated on him, when I didn't.

 

So now, I still find out all the things that went on behind my back. I feel angry for two reasons. I feel angry that he did these things to me. Everyone tells me that it was so long ago it shouldn't matter. I also feel angry with myself for not seeing all this back then. I wonder how I could be so stupid and niave... And the stuff I told here is just some of it. There is so much more, but I don't want to type a novel...

 

I really wish I could have the chance to tell S what I think of him now, but that is impossible.

 

ANy comments would be appreciated.

[annie24]

I think it's fine just to keep venting here. Obviously, you found someone way better, and now you're married to him. What are you expecting from S if you tell him that he's full of crap? Would he say, "I'm sorry?" Probably not. He'd probably come up with some crap like, "oh, well, you were smothering me." Whatever. You're too good to put up with that.

 

Just be happy that you're through with him and that you're way better off now. Plus, didn't you say you lost a bunch of weight in the past 2 years? I think that you officially have had the last laugh

 

Take care

[DN]

Yes, thank you lucky stars that you are no longer involved with him and that you are with someone who does not treat you like that.

 

Imagine if you had married him!!!

[Cynder]

I wouldn't even bother trying to tell him how I feel. It wouldn't solve anything. It just mkes me mad hearing about all the stuff I was clueless to before. Like I said, I am angry with myself too for not seeing any of it.

 

I do agree that I got the last laugh. I have gone from a size 22 to a size 10. I graduated college. I got married. I'm working on getting published...

 

S still lives with his Mommy, (he's twenty-eight). He is unemployed, drinks too much and has pretty much lost his looks. Ha Ha Ha.

[HajiMaji]

See, there ya go. Its all good.

 

When I was about 15 one of my friends stole my brand new guitar. until about a year ago I felt sick to think about it.

 

A guitar holds way less on our hearts then a crappy boyfriend would have. In a few years im sure you wont care at all. And in the mean time, enjoy your sexy body and awesome husband

[Cynder]

One thing that really upsets me that I forgot to mention in my first post...

 

He also tells everyone my stepdad molested me. This isn't true. Aparently he doesn't care what kind of trouble he could get my stepdad into if the wrong people would ever hear him say this. He has also added another nasty demension to this lie. Acording to him, not only did my stepdad molest me as a kid, but now that I am an adult, I still continue a willing affair with my stepdad. He has even posted this on the net about me (using my full name too). He has also told people that my parents seel drugs and that my stepdad is my PIMP!!!

 

I just wish he would grow up and move on with his life instead of trying to ruin mine.

[annie24]

I'm sure that most people will see it as a pathetic attempt by your ex at getting under your skin. If people out there believe him, then they are stupid - you don't want to be friends with them anyways.

[DN]

One thing that really upsets me that I forgot to mention in my first post...

 

He also tells everyone my stepdad molested me. This isn't true. Aparently he doesn't care what kind of trouble he could get my stepdad into if the wrong people would ever hear him say this. He has also added another nasty demension to this lie. Acording to him, not only did my stepdad molest me as a kid, but now that I am an adult, I still continue a willing affair with my stepdad. He has even posted this on the net about me (using my full name too). He has also told people that my parents seel drugs and that my stepdad is my PIMP!!!

 

I just wish he would grow up and move on with his life instead of trying to ruin mine.

 

That is libel and defamation of character; you and your stepdad should consider suing him for it. At the very least he should get a letter demanding that he remove that and apologise or a lawsuit will be launched.