She loves me, but she fancies someone else

[Ultra553]

For the last month, my girlfriend has been acting rather peculiar and I couldn't work out why. First we had a huge row and then when we got back together she suddenly developed a strong interest in playing pool - I was at work she's at college (so on holiday), so I couldn't play pool with her. Well, I should have guessed why she was there so much really.. but you never do.

 

Tonight, she was being peculiar again and I finally got the truth out of her. She fancies the guy who works at the pool bar. She was expecting me to be angry with her, but I wasn't. I don't really do angry. I'm hurt, but not angry. To be honest, I was more relieved to finally know what was wrong than anything else. I've been getting quite depressed because I thought I wasn't making her happy, and I couldn't work out what I was doing wrong.

 

Anyway, I am completely crazy about and in love with this girl (we've been going out for almost a year but we went out for 2 or 3 months previously before that) and she says she loves me and wants to be with me. She is so confused and doesn't understand how she can be in love with me and fancy him. She says she would never do anything with this guy, and she would never cheat on me because she loves me too much. I thanked her for being honest with me and said to her its just part of being a human.

 

I guess the question I have is, what do you guys think I should do? Should I stay with her and risk getting hurt later on - or should I cut my loses, hurt now and move on? Honestly, I just want to be happy.. I just wish I knew where happiness was.

[Natedoggld182]

i was in your spot a few months ago, almost exact same thing, except it was a co-worker, they did things together and had fun, but she always promised me that she loved me and wanted to be with me and would never, never cheat on me. Well a few months later, here I am looking for answers, she broke up with me, not for him, to find out who she is and what she really wants in life. and about a month later i found out she slept with him, so im here as well looking for help and answers as well.

 

Im not saying that this will happen to you but your story sounds too real and too close for me not to tell you what happened to me. I really have no advice, cuz im looking for some myself

[apollocreed71]

If she is spending time with another guy, then that is no respect shown for you. and believe this when you guys have a serious fight or whaterver, who is going to be the shoulder to cry on the pool playing guy. get some girlfriends, as the guys say have a back up plan.

[stratguy620]

i am also in the same boat as the firs 2 guys. Basically the exact same scenario, but we decided to go on a break for a month to see if her feelings for the guy meant anything. I would say that could work for you if u wanted...

[heloladies21]

Most likely something's going on behind your back. If it hasn't happened already, it will soon. Either way, it's a wrap. As soon as the other person starts looking around, it's all downhill.

[suprema99]

I agree with helloladies to some extent. But I wouldn't dump her though just yet. since she told you that she would never cheat on you, and she loves you. I think your best bet is wait it out alittle and try to be cool with her. She's maybe playing a game with you right now, to see how much you care about her. She's either really cares about you or doesn't at all, cause she talks about other guys. I would have to get more facts first.

[Ultra553]

Thanks guys, I'm meeting up with her tonight to talk about it.

 

The last month has been hell because of her moods, I'm more bothered by the turmoil that has been a result of the crush for the last month than anything else.

 

It's so hard to let go when you love someone so. But I guess we'll see how it goes tonight. Does anyone have any ideas of questions I should ask?

[sugarandspice]

hey

 

do you not fancy other girls aswell??i mean just fancy them. doesn't mean you are going to do anything about it, as you have a partner and are in love with her.

 

Yeh so she fancies this guy, but if she really loves you she won't act on it. In a way it sounds like she wants to get your attention by showing you she does like someone else!and making you think of the possibility that he might like her too! i don't know, hope your chat with her goes ok and you get to the bottom of it.

 

if it's meant to be you will sort it out.

 

sugar x x x