Three dates and gone. What happened?

[TheRock]

Hi,

I met this girl online and chatted for a week online. She was out of town, but when she returned we went out on a date and is was instant chemistry. We went out two days later on Sunday and it was great again and we ended the night with a nice kiss. On tuesday, I got tickets to a show unexpectedly and decided to call her to see if she could make it. She did and was happy that I called her. We seemed to have a really nice time again. We kissed and mutually expressed how we enjoyed each other's company. The drive home was a little quieter than I would have liked though. Conversation was not as smooth as I would have liked. I dropped her off and she kissed me. The kiss was briefer than I expected, but I did not read anything into that. I thought three dates in five days was a little fast, so I backed off and did not call for two days. That was friday and she has not called back yet and I am wondering if she was turned off by something. It is just a feeling I have because she had been quick to return calls up until now.

How long should I wait to for her to call back. If she does not call back in the next few days, should I just let it go? Or should I try one more time?

And a woman's perspective would be helpful too. Thanks

[shes2smart]

She had a life before she met you, so perhaps she was just busy or out of town this weekend. If you are in the US, remember that it IS a holiday weekend, and people tend to make plans for travel/family gatherings, etc. at least several weeks in advance.

 

I wouldn't see anything wrong in trying to give her a call mid-week. If you are interested in her, it wouldn't hurt to be persistent until and unless she makes it CLEAR she's not interested. Only she knows why she hasn't called you back. You can sit around and guess all day and you might never hit on the real reason. If you really want to know, ask her when you talk to her again.

[funnyCAgirl]

YOu might have confused her by not calling her. Give her a few days. If she does not call you for a week, you should call her again.

[volution]

All this 'don't call'/'call' crap is pathetic - people should be honest with their feelings, that people do this only perpetuates the game that most relationships are.

If people promise to contact you, then don't, that just suggest to me they are ignorant or can't be bothered, and don't really think much about you.

I go out of my way to try and contact people that matter to me, even if I'm not feeling too well or down.

It's not hard to send an email or call someone (if you have already at least made contact).

[Jaela]

I completely agree with Volution. I only wish more men and women shared the same philosophy.

[annie24]

I agree with S2S (as always! ) My general rule about calling is: call when you have something you want to say. And yes, it is a holiday weekend. She could be out of town, or has 15 BBQs to go to.

 

Take care!

[TheRock]

Thank you much guys! I think I will give it a few more days and try and give her a call one more time. I think that will definitely give me an answer one way or another.

 

Also, as a general rule I tend to think that the man should call in the beginning of the dating process, but I have always been confused as to when it should become more even. Is it one date, two, or three? My sense is that women think similar as well.

[Msnak]

Yeah, I think the guy does need to "lead" the relationship. Of course, there are bad leaders out there, but that's another topic!

 

By date two or three, I think the woman should be able to call and not make the guy do all the work.

 

But yes, part of the "should I call" or "should I wait for him/her to call" game is because we figure action speaks louder than words. So, if someone doesn't call you, it means something usually. Especially if it's repeat behavior.

[TheRock]

Well said, I tend to believe that action speaks louder than words myself.

That is what makes the early part of the dating game confusing sometimes. And to be honest, I am usually right when I get that "something is not quite right feeling". It is just that, I hope I am wrong and try to give it one more shot.

[patience]

If you want to talk with her, just call her...it's just a phone call afterall.

If you are feeling like something isn't quite right, why not talk with her about this? Open, honest communication is always a good idea. Maybe there is something on her mind?