Are guys intimidated by "social butterflies"?

[rachelb]

If you liked a girl but she was a "social butterfly" ie. stylish, had lots of friends, always looked busy talking to them, would you be intimidated and give up? Or would you be more curious and want her more?

[atomic]

Oh god, would totally want her more. What a challenge inevitably I would fail miserably, get jealous of her other friends and probably end up being heart broken.

 

Are you that butterfly? Do you fancy a drink?

[hockeyboy]

If you liked a girl but she was a "social butterfly" ie. stylish, had lots of friends, always looked busy talking to them, would you be intimidated and give up? Or would you be more curious and want her more?

 

initially its an attraction but naturally once you enter a relationship it can get a bit frustrating if you dont feel your getting to much attention from her because she is such a "butterfly"

[djedix]

i need a girl who's about me, not all over the place never hanging out with everyone else, and not taking me along and stuff... maybe i'm selfish but that's just my thing

 

wana be a social butterfly, stay single... it's probally easyier and you wont hurt someone who does want a relationship.

[jordan_2]

I think it depends on the person...

 

like I personally am social, so I'd admire the whole outgoing quality in the person, but as other posters have written, which I also agree with...

I don't want this outgoing character to come and kick me in the butt...

like being social is great, I just want her to still make me a priority and I would expect myself to do the same...

[Day_Walker]

It seems as far as the single scene is concerned the "social butterfly" is a challange that guys want to conquer. Given her particular nature she wouldnt really pay too much attention to one person and the act of getting to her to do so would stroke a guys ego. I think it just depends on the person, that kind of lifestyle says a lot about the person for better or worse and it just depends if you find those qualities attractive or not. From my personal experience they had no substance and only were only interested in maintaining that social butterfly image. I dont think that you should be intimidated by any person, they are just a person like any other. When you start assigning additional titles to a person, its possible that you see them as more than a person as something special.

[Beec]

I think some would find her more desirable than others, because she was an object of desire. People wanted to talk to her, be around her, etc.

 

Some men may find this intimidating, but what is mroe intimidating is thinking you will get rejected if you approach her. She doesn't keep a guy frozen, his fear does.

 

Some may find her less desirable, but they are probably judging her. She may be a great woman with a great heart, but because of he outward appearance is judged to be superficial. Some others may think she is just not for them, some guys into other things may think they will have nothing in common with her. Finally, soem guys may think she is just out of their range. We tend to date women and men who are generally about as attractive as we are ourselves. So, if he thinks she is too hot, then he may think he has no shot.

[Tigris]

I personally think it depends on what the partner's goals are going to be for the future, e.g. a director of a company, a politician, etc.

 

This is the type of person who needs a good hostess for a partner/wife. In this case I think she would be perfect!

 

But for a person who wants her whole attention I don't think it is a wise choice!

[knglerxt]

I wouldn't find that attractive at all. I'd much rather go for a girl that's not as social.

[Maverick32x]

i like girls that are really outgoing, but if they arent willing to spend some time w/ me, i probably wouldnt date them.... and by spend time w/ me, i dont even mean alone, it could be a group of friends, but nothing is worse than going out w/ a girl and her friends, and she just completely ignores you thanks sweetheart

[whatdoyado]

There has to be a balance, if you know what I mean. During school and through the day be the "social butterfly," but in the end of the day your man is going to want you to be all about him, and vice versa. I don't see what's wrong with being everywhere at once, but keep in mind everywhere to him is you everywhere with him. He is going to want you to be all about him. It's just how it goes...and the same with you. Also, doubt forget Butterflies have the world to see and aren't bound. It's up to you if you want to become the fish in the fish bowl. Only bound in a small perimeter, but free to roam in that location. (hope you get what I mean...)

[SkyFire]

Intimidated? Only if the girl was a beast about to devour me.

[Sentinel]

I think the idea is much more appealing than the reality. I have went out with the type before...we met on a personals site, hit it off great on the phone and had all sorts of things in common, and had a lot of the same views on things, we were really excited about meeting! And we were very physically attracted to each other too. So it sounded like this might just be something.

 

Then, I met her in person...date starts out fine with hiking and talking, and flirting....then I suggested to go out for a drink, as in us two together, alone, really getting to know one another. Well her idea of getting a drink was a night of clubbing and bar hopping with her friends and talking and dancing with everyone but me....I was a little pissed, but got over it and realized what she was all about and that was that.

 

So, I wrote her an email about three days later how offended I was and I haven't heard from her since.

 

I know she didn't even realize how rude she was being, she was a nice sweet person, but she was so wrapped up in socializing she missed out on having one solid real relationship and instead has 100 aquaintances. And then she wonders why she can't find the right guy...and I was right there.

 

In a nutshell, I think social butterflys have serious intimacy issues and "deal" with them by never becoming really truly involved in matters of the heart because that would require to much emotional capital on their part. I'm sure there are other angles to it...but I believe that to be the basics of it. And as much of a front as they put on, I do not believe they are truly happy either. Just my $0.02. Hope this was helpful to you.

[ShySoul]

It all depends. I don't really think the person being social or not is what counts, its how the two people interact with each other. If they get along, have things in common, like each other, and spend time together... it can work.

 

I'd always gone for the shy, quiet, non social gals. Then I met a social one and I'm crazy for her. Anything can happen.

[easyguy]

I'd always gone for the shy, quiet, non social gals. Then I met a social one and I'm crazy for her. Anything can happen.

 

Yep.

 

Often times your counterpoint causes the greatest attraction. Funny how that works.

[ShySoul]

Often times your counterpoint causes the greatest attraction. Funny how that works.

 

It's in the way you compliment each other. Social person forces the quite one out of the shell, quite one keeps the other calm, focused relaxed more. What works best is when you have the same basic things in common, enough to give the relationship a foundation. Then you need some differences so that you each can help the other through there weak spots.