How can you stay friends with your new Ex....

[XxJJxX]

My Ex and I broke up a week and a half ago (we agreed to be friends)...and I miss him so much. He is very busy lately and working and we havent hung out since about a week ago. I called him on Thursday to say "Hi" since I havent talked to him (then) for a few days and he was working, then he called me back and nobody was home at my house. Then I called him on Friday, he was working and then he called back again and I was working, so its not like were ignoring each other. If he had the internet I it would be eaiser to talk, but his parents keep forgeting to hook it up. So now I might only see him when school starts(in a few days). The reason why we broke up because school is starting(our Senior year) and he said that he wants to focus on school. Also that during school he said that he would be very busy with school and work and there wouldnt be time for us to hang out. I agree, because school is more important than having a boyfriend/girlfriend and having your grades fall and work is important becasue you want to save money. The thing is that he promised me that we would date again when the school year is over, and that is far. I have seen couples get back together after being broken up for months, so maybe it is possible? I can see him and I being friends, and maybe dating again, but hopefully not in 9 months . Any advice on my situation, like does it sound weird or normal or anything...thank you.

[iamwhoiam]

instead of calling him, leave the ball in his court and move on. go to football games, hang with your friends, stay busy. if he DOES want to see you again, you'll be much more attractive if you have your own life and interests, letting him see that you're fine without him.

 

it amazes me, even now...i am a hopeless romantic and have always worn my heart on my sleeve. it's difficult for me NOT to be emotional and expressive and honest about my feelings towards a man. BUT as soon as i don't give a man the time of day, he's running after me. it's frustrating, but i definitely think guys are more intrigued when you show them you can live without them.

[Lily04]

I agree. Move on with your life, don't hold yourself to this guy. Meet new people, I would encourage you to date others as well, don't put your life on hold because he said he wants you to wait until school is over for him. Personally, I think that's a load of bull. Life is difficult, you learn how to deal with it, don't cut off relationships because school is hard. I can understand your bf's perspective though, but he has to understand that you guys can be friends til then, but if you want to date other people that should be OK as well.

[JynX]

My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago, and I won't lie, it's been hard, considering we've dated for 13 months and had a wonderful relationship. What helps me is going out and keeping busy. He and I still talk occasionally, just to see how we're both doing. The first few times it'll be hard, but after a while, you get used to the idea of him just being a friend figure. In the mean time, don't call him more than once, wait for him to call back. Don't seem desperate. Be casual and friendly to each other. It's the best thing.

[Boricua7]

.....What helps me is going out and keeping busy. [My ex] and I still talk occasionally, just to see how we're both doing. The first few times it'll be hard, but after a while, you'll get used to the idea of him just being a friend figure. In the mean time, don't call him more than once, wait for him to call back. Don't seem desperate. Be casual and friendly to each other. It's the best thing.

 

I could'nt have said it better myself!

 

Live your life! There is nothing more tormenting to a guy than seeing the girl he care about be just fine without him (even though you know it's killing you inside). Don't let him be comfortable in the fact that he knows whenever he wants you he can have you. Make him doubt! Make him worry! Look, you DON'T have to start dating anyone if you're not ready and don't want to. You DO, however, have to keep busy so that your mind isn't always on him. Play hard-to-get and I promise you he'll come running sooner or later. My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago after dating for 10 months and now we're getting back together. I took my mom's advice, which is what I'm telling you. Use reverse psychology, it works!

[XxJJxX]

Yea we dated for 4 months, and we both decided to break up, and I just got over it(the break up). Thanx for your advice, Yea i know not to call him more than once lol. We never get the chance to catch each other when we call, and I havent talked to him in a week. Well I only called twice and he called back both times, and now im not gonna call anymore. Were still friends, its just hard for us to talk, since he has no internet and he works alot. But anyways Thank you.

[serenity25]

Ok, so my question is how late is too late to turn things around on the dumper? I made the mistake of contacting my ex too much after the breakup. We broke up in late April very suddenly- like he just freaked out and left me with no warning. He has been so cold since the breakup- doesn't want any contact. I've now read everything people said about not contacting him and I've decided that I will listen to him and not have any contact because of what he said in that last phone call. It is long distance so we never see each other. Do you still think that after this time, if I do not contact him in any way that he may see I can do without him and contact me? I have posted what exactly he said in the last phone call and the breakup in previous posts.

 

The last phone call where he acted incredibly immature and bitter, saying he didn't want any contact was exactly four weeks ago. He hung up on me and I haven't called him back or anything and he hasn't called me. It's hard for me to imagine him moving on so easily because I was soo good to him, too good almost. I was always there for him and can't imagine someone loving him more however my problem was that I did become too needy and I think that scared him away as he must have major commitment issues. But in the beginning of the relationship he was the one that wanted to talk constantly but eventually I changed my behavior and realize I wasn't giving him enough space...however my problem was just calling too much and pressuring him. He lives six hours away so I couldn't suffocate him in physical space- only emotional. When he suddenly left me four months ago standing on the curb as he drove away in a cab, I was crying and asking him not to go so I know that most likely just made him feel stronger. So, is it ever too late to turn everything around? I'm just wondering if you think there is a time limit on when they may break down and contact again? I feel like I gave him so many reasons to think I was still pining away for him that it may take longer now, but I'd like some opinions. Am I hoping for the impossible?

[Unchained_melody]

Try moving out of the town or country to change your environment and start a change in ur daily routine. Also tell him that and see how he reacts.

[annie24]

I agree. Move on with your life, don't hold yourself to this guy. Meet new people, I would encourage you to date others as well, don't put your life on hold because he said he wants you to wait until school is over for him. Personally, I think that's a load of bull. Life is difficult, you learn how to deal with it, don't cut off relationships because school is hard. I can understand your bf's perspective though, but he has to understand that you guys can be friends til then, but if you want to date other people that should be OK as well.

 

I AGREE!!!! A load of bull!!! Yeah, I know, school is rough, takes a lot of time, but think about it.... when you really like someone, you find time to spend with them, don't you think?

 

My hs boyfriend said all that crap to me too. Don't hold your breath waiting to get back with him. Move on, meet new people. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Actually, he should be BEGGING for you back... not for you to wait for him. Remember, you're too cool of a chick to be sitting on your hands, waiting for some guy to call you in 9 months.