I can't get over her at all...

[.Real Talk.]

i know this is gonna sound like a dumpee jus rambling about the same things but its been awhile since we broke up, i've date other girls and it feels aight wen i go out w/ them...then wen i get home i cry myself to sleep because they're not who i want, i still want and need my ex...i still love her...i dont know what to do anymore, i miss her all the time even wen im w/ other girls i miss her, i wanna tell her how i feel still but i dont think she wud even care now...i know something this important is worth fighting for but im scared of the way she'll react towards me...

[MetallicAguy]

There's more women then men in the world, get over it. How old are you by the way? Guessing your in your teens. You don't need to find the perfect girl especially if your in your teens you have like the rest of your life to do that. And when you go to college you will meet PLENTY more girls guarantee it because colleges are hella huge of course, don't worry about it. Look, make sure you love YOURSELF before you get a gf she shouldn't be your source of happiness. Love yourself before you love others.

[Strictly4MyGrind]

she

shouldnt be your source of negativness....

[gypsy65]

You didn't mention a few things, like how long ago you broke up, how long you were together and why did she say she broke up with you? A lot depends on her reasons for ending the relationship...check out link removed

 

Not knowing all the details I can say only that I feel for you! A broken heart is one of the hardest things to go through, without a doubt! It is hell on earth, but with time the pain DOES lessen.

 

I gather that your breakup was fairly recent? You said you were having difficulty going out with other girls and that you still miss your x terribly...Maybe it is too soon for you to be back on the scene. Perhaps your time could better be spent doing something worthwhile for yourself...get a hobby, engage with friends, anything that could help you feel better about you, regardless of her opinion of you...Rejection is sometimes best overcome by finding ways to feel good about ourself, NO MATTER WHAT anyone says, does or thinks.

 

I heard a saying that really helped me when my true love left me, it was "Don't cry because it ended...smile because it happened." From this experience you can learn a lot about yourself and you can use it as an opportunity to learn and grow and become a better person which will increase your self esteem.

 

My therapist told me one time that if someone doesn't love us most often it is not a reflection of our lovability but rather a reflection of their inability to truly love. It helped me. Hope it helps you.

[disEnchantid]

hey realtalk,

 

I know *exactly* how you feel. My ex and I have been broken up (for the second time) for about five months now. I started dating again a few weeks ago but it was too soon, I couldn't help but compare the guys to my ex and they (of course) came up short. I haven't had any contact with him for about three months, and before that it was only two or three times after we had broken up. Even though I don't want to get back together, I still find myself missing him a lot and remembering the good times, and all that wretched stuff that comes with a break up.

 

I don't think "get over it" is constructive advice here...instead I would advise you to do the following things:

 

1. Do NOT contact her and tell her how you feel-she will not be receptive to it, and you will only end up hurting worse

 

2. Accept that this is going to take time for you to heal, and take yourself out of the dating game until you are really and truly healed-sometimes the only way to know you aren't ready to date again is to try going on one, and see how you react. But let yourself grieve, and learn who you are without her in your life. There is no pressure for you to have to be with someone new, you have time for that (no matter how old you are).

 

3. Keep posting on this site as much as you need to, write her letters telling her how you feel but DON'T send them! Try starting an online blog where you can pour your emotions out and keep it all private. That way, you can go back in a few months and see the progress you have made. I started one back when my ex and I first broke up, and it has really been helpful to me now.

 

4. Find things to laugh at, laughter is truly the best medicine, and watch as many funny movies, stand up comedians or tv shows as you can. The more you laugh, the better you will feel-it really really helps me when I am feeling down.

 

best of luck and pm me if you need!

 

-dE

[Zerohero]

Mostly everyone in here has lost someone they really cared about. Best way to get over it I found it to get out and be with friends even when you don't want to. Don't call her and talk to her. She broke up with you so she has to be the one trying to make contact. No B day no Christmass NOTHING. Trust me it's not easy. Even though its' been a long while I still think about my EX. Sometimes it pisses me off because I wish I could just forget.

 

I'll leave you with this...

 

"Why do we fall?, So we can learn to pick ourselves up"

[Chrisj]

I have been split up from my girlfriend for about a month now, she said she needed space so I agreed. She's 21 and I'm 26. I remained silent and let her initiate the texts and phone calls. She did call and text me a few times and we got on great on the phone. All looked good for us, we were still laughing and joking in our conversations. On friday morning she text me saying that she was thinking about me lastnite and that its very hard, and that we prob get back together. This of course was what I wanted to hear because I love her so much and I just know she is the one for me. We text each other throughout the day and then late on friday night she rang me. She was a bit drunk and she was saying how much she misses me and could I call her back in half an hour because its very important. She even said "Bye Love" to me. I agreed to call her back but in my stupidity I passed out and woke up about 4 am. I immediately called her but she didnt answer. The next mornin I text her saying how sorry I was that I didnt call her back, she remained silent all day. I'm heartbroken because I think I have screwed things up between us. My feeling is that we would have got back together that friday night, thats what was so important for her to tell me. I don't know what to do, please help.