Do Dumpees ever find someone better than their EX's?

[yo]

Hello Everyone,

 

My Ex G/f of 4.5 years dumped me for my best friend. It's been just a month after the breakup. I was just wondering if people who get dumped ever find TRUE LOVE again. Do they ever find someone who's far far better than their Ex's? I am so scared to get into a new relationship because I don't want to deal with all the heartbreak and rejection again.

 

My EX dumped me and she said she knows she was meant to be with this guy, he's the ONE, he's her soulmate etc... I was just curious to know if dumpees ever find someone who's the ONE. Do they ever find someone whom they are really meant to be with?

 

People who have a success story, pls share it.

 

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You can read my story at:

link removed

[Borashi]

I think everything and anything about the "one" is completely bullsh*t and when girls tell you that they are just rationalizing there reasons for leaving you. I believe we are all compatible with many different types of people so I really don't have a specific type in mind, but I do like brunettes, girls that are 5 7 5 10, and I tend to lean towards the athletic girls. Is it possible to fall in love again after losing someone you've loved? I believe so yes. I've been in true love only 3 times in my life with 3 different girls they all shared similarities yet they all were there own person. I've had more relationships but those never really seemed real. It's only been a month so don't expect to fall in love again so soon, take time out to explore your interests and reflect on the great experience you had with her.

[hockeyboy]

yes i have found a better girl multiple times.

[kellbell]

Yes, I have found better relationships after break-ups. I take what I learned from the pervious relationship and put it in the new one, so every relationship gets better and better until you do finally meet someone who you know can spend the rest of your life with.

[RayKay]

Yes definitely!

 

Once the dumpee moves past the pain, starts to see themselves as whole again, and realizes the past was not "perfect" either you begin to realize that there is more to this world and a happy life than your ex.

 

Look at it this way, I have had a few long term relationships in my life, some ended due to my choice, some due to their choice, some were more tragic.

 

However, I always found a new partner whom was not a "replacement" but an entirely new, wonderful person.

 

And ultimately, I found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and he feels the same, so it works out pretty well in the end, you just need to have faith...I found my one...and you will one day learn that the one is the one whom also feels the same way Things happen on their own time, at their own pace. The universe would not leave us high and dry, if for some reason it cannot work out with one person, they will put another in our path. Even soulmates - if the timing does not work out for us to be with one, another one is placed in our path.

[djedix]

However, I always found a new partner whom was not a "replacement" but an entirely new, wonderful person.

 

That is key. Not finding a "replacement"

 

you can have those cuddling, kissing, all those kinda feelings with anyone. But to start a new relationship.. you need to over the past and ready to move on.

[hockeyboy]

However, I always found a new partner whom was not a "replacement" but an entirely new, wonderful person.

 

That is key. Not finding a "replacement"

 

you can have those cuddling, kissing, all those kinda feelings with anyone. But to start a new relationship.. you need to over the past and ready to move on.

 

couldnt agree more. i tried dating a few girls over the past year that just did not work out because i wasnt over the ex, whether or not i wanted to admit it.

 

i realized this, took some more time to myself and decided ill just let something happen when its supposed to happen...and then my new girl literally walked in my front door on a random wednesday night. thats how things work.

[yo]

Hello Everyone,

 

But, my breakup was different, it wasn't mutual, but, my EX dumped me for my friend! I don't think I can trust anyone anymore.

 

Also, how do I know that I am completely over my Ex and won't end up comparing the new person with my Ex.

 

What makes me feel really bad is the fact that I have to re-build whatever I had built for 4 1/2 years and I cannot take another shock like this one!

[RayKay]

Hello Everyone,

 

But, my breakup was different, it wasn't mutual, but, my EX dumped me for my friend! I don't think I can trust anyone anymore.

 

Also, how do I know that I am completely over my Ex and won't end up comparing the new person with my Ex.

 

What makes me feel really bad is the fact that I have to re-build whatever I had built for 4 1/2 years and I cannot take another shock like this one!

 

Well, not to ignore your pain or anything, but you should also see that if you look around these boards, not many of the breakups in life are "mutual" and that there are many who have also had horrible breakups - cheating, leaving for ex, for best friend, for whatever. Some happen after years, some after months, some after decades. They each hurt..its not the time, its the emotional investment.

 

Believing you can't trust anyone anymore is a sure way to set yourself up NOT to trust anyone. Trust is not something you simply do or don't do...trust is earned, but someone new should also be given that trust, they will reinforce it as they earn it.

 

You know you are completely over the ex when you are NOT comparing the new person to the ex. You'll know when you are not.

 

You are not rebuilding whatever you had, you would be building something NEW.

[FCTex]

I dont think you will find someone better than your Ex. If it was a case of a break up, and you were a dumpee. You still love that person, and cherish everything about them. You want them back..

 

However, with time you will change. Things you like, things you find attactive. They will vary, month to month, day to day, year to year. Everything evolves, and I think you just change enough, and come to like and accept differrent things to a degree.

 

You might not find someone better, but in that instance in time, you find someone who's better for what you like and want.

[One Kind Bud]

I sure as heck hope so! I know for A FACT that my next SO will be a ton better than my XH. I am the dumpee but I know that it is for the best and am looking forward to the future.

 

I am sorry to hear about your break-up. Losing your girl to your BF must be pretty rough. Hang in there.