I think my girlfriend has bipolar/manic depression disorder

[ralph123]

so been with my girl for 7 years now, actually engaged but scared to get married. I love her with all of my heart, I think she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, but she makes me feel horrible inside sometimes. Just now we were about to do the nasty and all of a sudden the script flipped and were fighting over me controlling her and stupid things. Sweet girl to * * * * * ing won't talk to me girl in 10 seconds. Its been like this most of my relationship, in the beginning she smoked bud with me. So when we fought we'd simply roll up and in a few minutes no more fighting, awesome sex...life was great

 

As time went on she quit smoking bud and just smoke ciggs like its her job. Well the fighting got way worse and more constant. Funny story, I asked her to marry me and the very next day was new years eve, well needless to say I spent it with my buddy and she went to her old ex bfs house (just a friend) and got wasted w him and some friends, when I picked her up all she did was yell at me, tell me I was a loser, GAVE ME BACK THE RING and said she didnt want to marry a loser. I mean this girl has torn my heart out over and over and over again and no matter how much it hurts inside I can't leave her because I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I know a ton of you guys have gone through this, I do all that I can to make her happy and she's never happy w me, says I control her and I rarley get a day where shes sweet to me and when I do its momentarily but great, as pathetic as that sounds.

 

This sound bi-polar to anyone? Never met anyone who I could love so much yet we get in a stupid fight and she will say the meanest stuff that even if your a tough guy, you wanna break down in tears and realize you have no confidence left, love really is a * * * * *

[emma j]

*just realised this thread is mega old but to anyone else in this situation read my reply*

Hi there,

Ok so i know that you already have alot of responses and alot of advice but i thought that i'd throw in my own experience. this may sound harsh but that only word that i can think of and that i WISH someone said to me when i meet my ex is "run" and do it now before you get anymore involved.

 

I am coming up to 4 months out of an onn/off 3 year relationship with a man who was diagnosed with bi-polar. The reason it was on and off what because he broke up with me literally more times than i can even remember, and i went back every single time becuase of this unbelievable hold that he had on me that kept me there. Maybe it was becuase of how horrible he treated me. I reallly don't know.

 

This guy sounds exactly how your ex is however i also have my suspisions that my ex is also borderline. I was in a very abusive relationship and you need to admit to yourself that so are you. Verbally, mentally and emotionally. Why else who you be here. You woke up to a txt saying i hate you and it means nothing to you. then later in the later its as if nothing as happen, yet thats ok. ITS NOT OK.

 

I wanted to "help" my ex so so much and maybe thats another reason why i stayed with him. he did not want help and nothing i said to did would changed that. twice i completely blew up at him and threatened to end it which resulted in him breaking down crying, going hysterical and promising he'd get help. He never did and i was left the person who can abused.

 

Everything was my fault. I literally couldn't do anything right. I had NO opinion in anything really because whatever my ex said was gospel and nothing would change that. I think i won one argument in three years. My ex got me so so so frustrated and angry and upset and making my blood boil that me, the sane one, self harmed twice. He made me do that, yet i still stayed with him. One minuite he wanted to marry me, loved me, wanted to live with me and have kids with me ( those where the good moments where i saw my loving boyfrined) then if i eveb looked at him wrong he was a different person, couldn't do this anymore blah blah.

 

anyways i could rant on and on and on b ut iwas in your shoes, look at my threads, icame here for advice the way you are now and i took none of it because i was so so so deeply in love and had a connection like no other. But when i look back now i had a "connection" with someone who made me completely completley miserable. Who i spent more time crying about than laughing with, who claimed htey loved me but was so so nasty and verbally abusive to me. I shold have a nice loving astable relationship with someone who appreciates me and values me and so should you.. you really need to think long and hard about this one. I promise you, you wn't win this battle with her. she win also win, always come out on top and you will always end up the bad guy and thte one whog gets hurt.

 

Feel free to pm me if you want. again my advice so you don't end up depressed like me... run.

[jadeleanne89]

Im bipolar/manic depressive and i thought i should share, maybe to help myself understand how my boyfriend feels, maybe to give people an insight into how their partners/ex's feel.

 

Im 21 and my partner is 27, we have been together 3 and a half years during which had two proper break ups. Both initiated by myself, first for one week, the second, which we are still recovering from, for 4 and half months, so much so, i moved out of our house, moved to the other side of the city and even started a new relationship which failed within a month, again, something i decided.

 

Ive been suffering from, what was first diagnosed as, severe depression for getting close to ten years. And sometimes life is great. But sometimes its this very dark, very lonely place, where disturbing thoughts are racing through your mind which seem very logical and very justifiable.

 

The best way i can describe my "emotional rollercoaster" is as peaks. I can go for a good few weeks of having nothing but what would be percieved as a normal mood. Getting out of bed, dealing with life like everyone else, having a laugh, going out with friends on nights out and eating and sleeping very "normally". Then i will peak. I will be hyper, over excitable, almost to be point of agitated. Fidgeting, cant sit still, very much on a high, talking quite rapidly and making plans for the future. To an outsider and to my boyfriend, i seem energetic, positive, bubbly, confident and enthusiastic. I even made a joke when i was in this state once that i would probably crash soon, like when youve had too much sugar! That i did, the very next day. Unbelievable depression hit me like a tonne of bricks as soon as i woke. Not wanting to get out of bed, not having an appetite, dont want to get dressed or face the world, feel like im a terrible person, cant do anything right and that id be better off dead. Im still feeling this way, two weeks later.

 

And guys, lemme tell you, in this stage, i dont wanna have sex. Thats the last thing i wanna do. I understand that my boyfriend still wants to, and this is a recurring problem in our relationship. Im not interested and he takes it very personally. Like i dont find him attractive, that i dont enjoy it. Thats not the case at all, its about me. My self worth and esteem is at an all time low, depression, even though i dont get out of bed or do anything, is draining and very physically tiring. And this is without medication. One of the side effects of taking meds is lack of sex drive. So either way,its something that ul have to accept, you wont be doing it four five times a week.

 

Then with the pressure of "performing" comes the anger. Indescribable fury at the person i know loves me very much. And i know i emotionally batter him. Ive told him that i wish he would eff off and leave me, ive told him i dont wanna be with him,that he makes me miserable, im the way i am because of him (which we both know is not true) and that he makes me want to kill myself, he is pushing me to it. Its almost like i have no control over my mouth. I dont mean it. Almost like i want him to realise just how miserable i really am. And hes very stubborn. Sometimes, just a cuddle goes a long way and he isnt one to give that up very easily, which is understandable as ive just verbally attacked him! But it does calm me down quicker, it stops my uncontrollable shaking, it steadies my breathing and whilst i know that i really dont deserve it whilst im led on the bathroom floor, hands over my ears, mascara all over my face, i know its taken alot of strength for him to do it.

 

It is bloody hard for him. Im a nasty piece of work to him. And im not trying to justify my words or actions, but if you can recognise the different emotions, you will know what to expect and how to react.

 

Shopping sprees, making lots of plans, being talkative, not sitting still, being spontaneous, its a high which will quickly end. That doesnt mean you should always expect the worst, but just know in the back of your mind that a depression will follow shortly so dont act too surprised. Comments like "but you were fine yesterday, whats wrong with you?" or "youre not thinking like a logical, normal human" dont get you anywhere. Im not saying tread on eggshells for fear that you are going to set them off into a rage, just think about how it comes accross when this person you love isnt thinking as clearly as they were maybe the week before when in their "normal phase". This is going to be with them for life. Its a difficult process.

 

I was in a psychiatric hospital when i was 15 for a month, i have seen many many different psychiatrists, councellors, doctors, have attempted suicide more times than i can count on both hands and think about it on a daily basis, been self harming since i was 12, am suffering with intermittant insomnia and have had bulimia and stopped eating on more than one occasion. I know i sound like a right nut job. But i dont wanna be this way. My partner can walk away from me. I cant walk away from this. Its not as easy as getting help and being on a pill, so far i have been on five different medications, not including two different sleeping tablets, have had dosages raised and lowered, and yet im still not on a steady path. Its not a simple get diagnosed get treated process and no one should think of it as such. Like i said, Ive been suffering for nearly TEN YEARS with this, I was only taken seriously for bipolar disorder TWO MONTHS ago.

 

Do your research, go to councelling sessions, but dont pressure your partner to attend, they will when they are ready, and even have a very open talk with them. Depression has a massive stigma still attached to it.

[Ray123]

Hi ,

I am exactly where you were 5 years ago ! stock in exactly the same sitatuion I feel like im in a quagmire and the harder I try the deeper I get.

So what happened at the end in your situation?

What was the conclusion of your story? Did you get out for good? did you get back with her?

What ever happened to her? Is she fine now?