Is there a chance that ex's get back together?

[Rickster]

Im not sure if this is the right place to post this. But here it goes.

 

Before I went away to study overseas my girlfriend and I were together for 2 years already both loving each other. Although we did have fights, but then relationships always will encounter them. Some of the fights were for dumb small reasons or arguments. When I went away she found someone in her college someone else new that I do not know of and I felt so stress and I came back to my country for her again. But she rejected me saying reasons that she wasn't happy when we were together which I thought wasn't true because she always looked happy and always sounded happy whenever I had the chance to meet her in school and outside school. Another reason was that I got jealous very easily when she did talk to other boys and I was working on it not to be jealous for this reason. And she believed that this new person didn't get jealous at her when she talked to other guys. Another reason was (which I think was really dumb) she said that relationships where guys were younger than the girl will not work out and personalities clash.

 

 

For a long time I couldn't accept that she left me because for the fact that both of us were so happy together that I could see myself ending up with her later on. What I thought was that when I went away communication got more tough and thereforeeee her love in me declined althought I still loved her so very much and I was waiting for the day to arrive back. I couldn't accept it that I slit my wrists a couple of times. When I did come back and see her, she only wanted to be good friends and I told her that friends never work out and gave plenty of examples to prove myself which she couldn't doubt my examples. I didn't want to be friends I wanted to be more than friends. But she would not accept it. I must say looking back I mishandled the situation really badly, and if it wasn't for my attitude I would be slightly better off. By the way this is my first ever relationship with a girl.

 

 

After talking with my elder sister about every minute detail she advised me to be her friend eventhough your mind is thinking that you want a relationship. Atleast if she realises you are a friend she too would treat me like a friend and my sister advised me to gradually build the relationship from the start showing her that Ive changed to a different person and that I would not get jealous over small issues. If I wasn't her friend she probably would not pick up my calls and ignore me while talking or sound uninterested in my conversations and also aviod seeing me face to face (which she still does).

 

 

So I took my sisters advise to be her friend and slowly build it up from there. But the big problem now is that my ex's boyfriend gets jealous with her talking to me. And that is why she tries her best not to talk normally to me and not to meet me and doesn't reply my calls or texts I send her. Because the other time my ex called me to ask about computer issues and he got angry with that. And she even told me that she doesn;t me to go to her house to fix her computer cause her boyfriend said if you meet him alone(meaning me) I'll get really angry. So yeah, you get my point? If it was not for him she would atleast talk to me with abit more enthusiasm and not be rude and moody. And I don't expect her to call me or text me back, I just want her to talk to me normally and cheerfully. And for me hope that she will someday realise Im still for her.

 

 

I really want her badly, and Im persistent in whatever I do that will help me get back with her. And without this communication how is it possible to get back with her, let alone being friends. Currently, I talk to her almost like how we used to talk when we were together. Could anyone advise me in conversational techniques or any tactics, or in any way just get closer to a girl that used to love you but not anymore? I always see in movies that ex's do get back together... however those are just movies and they were scripted so that it would appeal to watchers. I think about her everyday and night since March. There is nothing more I want than her. Everything I do it's for her, like the only reason Im going to college again is because I can see her and there are things to discuss about because of the similarities of education. Other than that I do not know why Im starting back college again. Im doing everything I can to get back with her.

 

 

Please help!!! I require loads.

Thank you in advance and all your help is appreciated.

[benevolent]

Don't resort to tactics or methods or lines or scripts. Why? It's manipulative and wrong and does't address the problems that led to the downfall of the relationship. Aside from that, you cannot make anyone love you and want to be with you. As difficult as it is to hear, there is not much you can do to "win her back" except for allowing nature to run its course.

 

Relationships are hard work, which some people don't realize and there are always signs that we either ignore, evade or become oblivious to. It's not until we have "the talk" and end the relationship that we become aware of the unfortunate consequences of the aforementioned signs.

 

From what you wrote you sound pretty young and new to adult, commited relationships - which is not a bad thing. You should take time for yourself and not even contact her - hence the No Contact (NC) rule that is promoted so much here. Take time to examine the relationship and take any and all lessons that you can from it.

 

Don't sacrifice yourself and your education for the sake of a girl. Breakups are hard, yes, and first loves are the hardest. You are young and should start exploring other relationships - when you are ready. People change, relationships change and the last thing you want is to be fixed in a state of where your only focus is of things past such as this relationship. Not only will it hinder your role in other relationships, but you'll be repeating negative patterns that will keep you from growing as a person.

 

Yes, it's tough. But stick with NC so that the self-healing process can resume.

 

Good Luck.

[Rickster]

I'm very certain she is the one for me. That is why I try very hard, maybe too hard to get her back. I know for certain that she will make me happy and I know I do not want any other relationships. Yes, Im stubborn and persistent. Looking back at the past makes me feel like I didn't put the last drop of sweat into my relationship.

 

benevolent... I suppose tactics and or methods would not work, and the hardest thing for me to get back with her is that we already know each other and that my intention is to get back someone who doesn't love me anymore and not follow natures path. But benevolent, do you think in time to come that there might be a chance I can be with her again? I do not know why I like to weigh and measure and calculate things.

[Anonymous81]

Rickster, man, i am going throught the same thing...go to the topic: "Is it possible to get back together after a break up?"...that was my forum from last week...we are going throught the same thing...

 

I am still not exactly sure how things are right now...i will tell you this...the more contact you have with that person...verbal, text, physical, sexual...all of it makes it much, much harder...