why do u gotta lie?

[sizzle2028]

question for the guys..

 

so me and my boyfriend have a good relationship right, and its very

 

sexually active. its great. like i mean he always gets some no matter

 

what. there is no lack there of in our relationship n e ways... he

 

watchs porn! all the time... like only when hes alone and wants to get

 

off... (we dont live together) so he tells me its because he wnats to

 

"create the feeling" he gets with me. or he needs visual stimulation,

 

or he likes to watch other people have sex.. and im sick of it.

 

honestly why do u need to watch porn? when u have a girlfriend who will

 

do it for u. and i say to him if u want to watch porn lets watch it

 

together or.... my god if ur gonna watch porn why watch the amateur

 

stuff u know on the shareware programs. the stuff people make in their

 

living room. its a disgrace to a porn thats what i say. but n e ways...

 

so the point of this is... why do guys gotta lie? i just hate it when

 

he lies, i come to his house today thinking hey im not gona find any

 

porn on his computer its only been 1 day since i last saw him. so i go

 

and BAM theres somethin in the recycle bin. and its called 67 im like

 

oh great... he thinsk im really dumb now. like i will assume its a

 

movie called 67? NO!!! im not stupid. so i go to check it out.. and wat

 

do i find. girls gone freakin wild. (and it wasnt even a good one) so

 

hes in the shower when im doin this right. and im watchin it. hes comes

 

down teh stairs and says "hi hunni" i dont say n e thing he says "whats

 

wrong?" im like "u thought changing the name would throw me off?" hes

 

like "what do u mean?" as he walks over. and sees whats on the screen.

 

and he says "ohhhh!! thats old" (as though its been on his computer for

 

like a year)

 

so what do i do u ask? i right click on file.. click properties. and

 

BAM!! created! august 18th 2005

 

work) oh what a coincidence....

 

 

like seriously why do they gots to lie. i mean that was sooooooo

 

small of lie. honestly... im not a dumb girl i know more about

 

computers then he does. im the one who rebuilt his computer... u think

 

hiding some porn is gonna rear off my course? i can find n e thing. but

 

n e ways thats besides the point. i just wants to know

 

A) why do guys gotta watch porn when u get all the time. if not more

 

then once a day.

 

B) and why do u gotta lie to the "love of ur life" for such a stupid

 

reason.

 

is it because guys think that if they lie they will protect our

 

feelings? because after u feel as though u protected our feelings and

 

then we find out the truth.. then our feelings are hurt 10 times more.

 

n e ways.. im not sure exactly what u will say.. it just hurts me

 

that the man i want to be with and marry one day.. is what not

 

attracted to me enough? when the sex is sooo great?. btw we've been

 

together for 15 months yesterday, and no i havnt gained a massive

 

amount of weight... so he should still be attracted too me. atleast he

 

was today... but ya thanx for reading all of this venting

[Caldus]

Yeah and girls never lie right?

[DiscipleOfChange]

Well, I can't speak for guys in a relationship or guys who are getting any...but.. a lot of guys can get "addicted" to porn. I mean, if your guy has been looking at porn long enough, say before he met you, than he might not be able to easily stop and sometimes, guys just get in that mood and well I imagine if their girl isn't right there than they look at porn. The thing is (and i've heard that this is how it works) the more you look at porn/think about sexual stuff when you masturbate, the more stimulation you need to reach the same end results. So while just imagining may work for guys who are just breaking into their teen years and beginning to explore their sexuality, eventually, looking at porn becomes the most satisfying way of achieving the desired results. And as far as lying about it, I can't see a reason for it. I mean, no guy will go around advertising he watches porn but no guy should deny it, as long as the present company is right. I mean admitting to your friends is one thing, admitting it to a bunch of people is another.

 

~Mark

[Bounder]

I used to be embarssed about my porn too, tried to hide it and stuff. I dont know why i watched it when she was away, just for release. I didnt see it as something that affected my feelings for her, but I dindt want her to be hurt, so I would try and cover it up....it really depends on what you see porn as, in terms of cheating and stuf I guess. I loved my ex deeply, we made our own stuff sometimes (on my suggestion) so we would have stuff to watch while apart, but once ina while the urge came back....is it because we're men, pure and simple? I dunno.

[Xodus]

Ok this is probably at the point I get called a perv but I am here to be honest. First of all very kewl you would actually be willing to watch the porn with him don't see why he is not open to that. Something else though, why were you in his recycle been anyways? OK now on my opinion of porn, as a teen ya I watched it just to get off, then as I started to get more sexually active I realized this was away of almost comparing myself I guess you would say. It gives me an idea of a semi realist way of doing certain positions and ways to get more creative in my love life, but I do admit I still get off on it even though (never thought I could say this) I get almost to much sex, come on the 4th time ladies you are just kind of pushing it lol, but anyways still get off on it but only for the fact I think about what my wife would be like in that position and how she would feel against me and watching just helps the imagination. I don't look for certain "body types" when I look at porn, the people never really matters to me its more of the situation.

[sizzle2028]

why was i in his recycle bin? because im a nosey girlfriend... and i ask him to please not watch it. if u want it come and get it. and then when he says he doesnt watch it. ya im gonna go see if hes lying... whats he gonna do about it? haha accuse me of snoopin i'll be like ya thats right i was... cuze how am i suppose to trust u if u lie to me... if i trusted him with this then i wouldnt feel the need to search...

 

Thanx for ur honesty guys...

[DN]

Just be careful you don't become a nosy ex-girlfriend. Trust is a two way street. He has a right to do what he wants with his own computer. You don't have a right to invade his privacy.

[Caldus]

Exactly.

 

Not to mention there are several topics in this forum dealing with the exact same kind of issue. Might want to check those out to read more guys' point of views on the matter.

[7CardStud]

It's gonna very from guy to guy... Personally I don't watch porn, don't see a real point haha

 

Unless he is cancelling plans with you, then you shouldn't worry...

[nickero]

Katrinalynn,

 

Check out my post from today. Internet camming/chatting and trust. I am trying to figure out the same thing!! It is driving me crazy!!

[Risen]

I am in the same situation, but I'm not even "getting it" My bf is always on the computer, and when I'm like what are you doing? He's like oh not much. If I leave the room and then come back, he'll close a window and open a new one, and if he's chatting to someone on messenger (which is 99.9% of the times and I come around he will close messenger completely.

 

I was chatting to a pal yesterday who I had not spoken to in like a year and I was gonna send her a picture of what I look like now, so when I went to put it on the screen, I ran accross LOADS of stuff he had been sent. And surprise, most of the stuff (yes, guilty of looking at "Properties" on the file) it had been downloaded when I was in the house, sometimes even in the same room If I try and engage him for sex he says "I have a low sex drive". Well. when someone has a low sex drive, and then spends his time online looking at porn and getting files from people in shall we say various states of undress, I don't think that's low sex drive.

 

I am a good looking girl, and get loads of attention from guys, so it's not me. He always has digs at me like "everyone looks at you" and doesn't trust me AT all, he thinks all the guys that talk to me are trying it on and that I will be receptive to it but I love HIM. Grrrr...

[Caldus]

Well. when someone has a low sex drive, and then spends his time online looking at porn and getting files from people in shall we say various states of undress, I don't think that's low sex drive.

 

Looks like you two need to talk it out. Like serious talk it out. Have you done that yet?

[Lil]

i'm afraid we are in the same boat.........what is a woman to do, i mean i'm starting to think i have mental problems because i always want sex and well he does the same thing your man does..... wth?

[Lil]

i'm afraid we are in the same boat.........what is a woman to do, i mean i'm starting to think i have mental problems because i always want sex and well he does the same thing your man does..... wth?

[Caldus]

Well maybe you should break up with him if he's not ever giving what you want...

[hockeyboy]

I'm pretty sure that if my gf acted like this it would be a huge turnoff.

[Shadows Light]

Lil/Risen... I feel your pain. I "didn't" mind it the porn so much.. but if your not getting any...and the porn is on.. WTH? Why bother.

 

I was too busy to mess around on the computer. And if I did get on something was always a mess that I couldn't even log in... it was like he had it on lock down. Why is it that I can log onto any other computer but try to get into the home computer and its a mess? But he logs on no problem... hmmmm one wonders. Or.. when you bring them a cup of coffee and they toggle the screen???? hmmmm one wonders. LOL.

 

But funny.. when I finally get a friend to fix all the bugs in the computer and I start playing on the net. Looking for music. Looking at music videos. Finding all sorts of cool web sites on all my interests... he got paranoid as heck. Constantly at my back. hmmmmmm... one wonders. LOL.

 

To the original poster. He maybe pulling white lies because he's embarrassed. Maybe he's got a certain fetish he doesn't want you to know about. You seem like a very open gal...and even offered to watch it with him. Providing its not some F&S type cheesy flick. Thats great. I'd say you BF was embarrassed more than anything. I think I read in a post through here about de-sentizing... and that is a valid point. Too much porn de-sensitizes you. You may approach it this way.. and talk to him about that... although you don't seem to be having problems in the sack (YET.) And I do stress yet.. because.. hey.. neither did I.. and then pppsssssssstttt.. it was gone. I think too much of anything has a bad effect on anyone. Moderation is key. Hunt down some articles on porn and desensitziation and talk to him about it.

 

And quit snnnooppping in his computer. He's embarrassed enough.. I'm sure. He knows your not ignorant about computers... he's just embarrassed about his.. little habit.

[xvee]

Wow your story reminded me of a flashback