Losing your mate and dating again

[Pwiincess]

OMG I can't believe our situations have so many similarities !! The guy I lost was my crush for about 10 years.(ever since I moved to NY) we only started talking this year clicked right away. He asked me to marry his a day before he past away. Smfh. His aunt saw all the emotional stuff I posted on my fb & his page. She commented on it inboxed me & banned me from going to his viewing & funeral. And I couldn't do anything about it. Honestly I don't know why she did it ? Maybe because there was bit of an age differences I was about to be 19 & 5 days after he was gonna be 27. ( He didnt live to see my bday or his ) 😭or maybe it was just cause I'm Guyanese & he's Hispanic & his babymother was Hispanic so she chose her over me. Even tho they weren't together for about 2 & 1/2 years now. The ring that he had gotten for me his bm now has it. Smh. It wasn't even hers. His friend told me about it I didn't even think he was serious. He was my dream guy & he was the love of my life. I was so happy to have him in my life. Having him love me for me. Talking to me all day & night 💔 it breaks my heart knowing he's not here but it seems like he doesn't want me to cry anymore I just get sad then couple mins later I feel better. & when I feel like I'm boutta cry I end up yarning each time. I will always miss him. But I think he wants to be happy. I keep meeting these amazing guys as of lately but I constantly push them away because my hearts with him. I feel quilts as well talking to other guys. & I'm not sure if I can ever get over the fact that my babyboys no longer here with me & my days are not the same anymore. 😭 I want to move on but I keep bouncing back 💔