jdmon53 Posted August 11, 2005 Share Posted August 11, 2005 I've been dating this girl for about 2 yrs, we got into a rut a few months ago and she went out with some friends got drunk and kissed a guy thats been infatuated with her. Also causeing some insecurities within myself doubting everything. THis got me really mad and confused, so we broke for a bit, either way we worked through it and got better but he still trys to be in the picture. I decided to take a break from our relationship for the summer to expereince what we need and restart our passion and so on. Well i just found out that she has seen this guy again and they did more than kiss (not sex) and she stayed the night with him. I went off the deep end and it caused me to question everything about my hopes for our future. Also brought alot of insecurities to my plate because this is the second time he has gotten in the picture. How can someone do this to there boyfriend after knowing the pain it caused the first time? I need help dealing with this and just what anyones opinion might be for my actions later and for what she might be thinking. Thank you and please help i'm in dire need. Link to comment
TheMailMan Posted August 11, 2005 Share Posted August 11, 2005 this is going to be brutally honest... breaks are bull crap... that is the stupidest thing you could of done... "breaks" give the opportunity to go out with other people... unless you guys said to each other... lets not go out with each other for 2 weeks and no one else and get back together... i dont think you did that... you should have told this guy off when you two were going out... she was your gf and he should have stepped down or face consequences... You said this.... : How can someone do this to there boyfriend after knowing the pain it caused the first time? I need help dealing with this and just what anyones opinion might be for my actions later and for what she might be thinking. Thank you and please help i'm in dire need. dude... you two were on a break... you werent her boy friend... OK NOW STOP i know your really steamed right now and would probably take a swing at me if you could that was the harsh side... let me go on... that is your girl dude... 2 years is a hell of a long time... i would say that you two are in love... i dont know what that guys intentions are... but it doesnt matter... you love her... now go get her... go to her house with some roses... when she awnsers the door look her in the eye and tell her that you are sorry and that you love her and you hate being without her... tell her you cant stop thinking about her and that you made a mistake... (whatever you do think about what you want to say to her before you are standing at her door... make it honest and from the heart and she will know you are true) dude... thats your girl... now go sweep her off her feet and get her back... -TheMailMan- Link to comment
gstylez07 Posted August 11, 2005 Share Posted August 11, 2005 Breaks are just ways for your gf to go out and realize she enjoys messing around at parties and **** more thean she wants to be with you....at leats thats what happened with my gf....we took a break, she realized she liked the space and we broke up....now shes out messing with other guys gettin drunk and its only been 2 weeks. Bottom line, dont go back to her....if shes gonna do that to you then you deserve better.....next time dont do the break thing though, never works. Link to comment
chai714 Posted August 11, 2005 Share Posted August 11, 2005 What is missing? Something is missing, otherwise she wouldn't look elsewhere for attention. Not saying it's completely your fault, but something is missing. When she kissed the other guy and you took her back, what did that teach her? That you will tolerate it. People will push others to their limits, and thus far I have not seen you set her limits yet. No need to go buying her back into your life as one poster suggested. Instead, learn what it takes to make someone like you. I have a feeling you're a "nice guy." One thing most "nice guys" don't do, is to be somewhat aloof. You've got to be aloof and almost ignore her at times. Then, you come back and turn it on again, making her feel a sort of high. No matter how long you've been with someone, you need to remain at least somewhat unpredictable and dictate the pace and intensity of your relationship. This takes practice, learning, and observation of human behavior but it can be done. Link to comment
jdmon53 Posted August 11, 2005 Author Share Posted August 11, 2005 Hey thanks alot for all the advice. Just to clear somethings up. i did tell the guy to back down and i told my Gf to respect my wishes not to associate with him again. also, i do love her and i want to make it work. But i guess the underlying issue is that its my fault for having a break if i can't hack the events that unfold due to it. So i guess we'll see, I think i'm going to call her and confess everything thats on my mind and i want to call off this break because it is killing me. If she doesn't want to than i'm gonig to have to learn to move on and see what happens in the future. Link to comment
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