Still hurting real bad

[dan2005]

There is no doubt in my mind that me and my wife have to get a divorce. We were killing each other. I was with this woman for 14 years. We have 6 kids together. She was a sweet heart but was'nt firing on all 8's if you know what I mean. I fell in love with her so bad. We lived with her mom and dad for a long time. She found out she had a half brother in 1998, her mom decided to tell her. Well the half brother came and moved in to be with his mom. Well me and Donna were ok but after a while she started to seem distant. They went out and did stuff and I thought nothing of it but I did start having suspesions. One day I caught him on top of her kissing her, she wasnt fighting back. I ran downstairs to collect myself, then I got pissed and ran upstairs to kill that sob. What do you know he was gone leaving her sitting on the couch crying. I asked her what the hell is going on?! She said it just happened. Then she said nothing happened. I lost my cool and hit her.

 

I got arrested and had to do a year probation and anger classes. Well not more than a month later after the incident she called saying she missed me and boy did I miss her. We got back together and I moved back in. My family was upset. Her mom died of a heart attack during this also. So I guess she did'nt want to loose anyone else. Well things were going ok but I always had this incident in the back of my head. Was something going on? I tried to live with it but I found myself being mean to her and a little possesive.

 

I later found a note to a "Sam" about how she liked it when he came over and watched tv. and the way he talked dirty to her. Well I knew no Sam and we had kids so they would of seen something but they did'nt. The note was kinda not hidin' to well so I thought she was just trying to hurt me. I asked her about it and she said she wrote it long ago before we were together. Thst it was just made up. I did'nt believe her but I stayed. A couple years passed and we were up and down. Then we moved into a small duplex that her friend Marie and her husband owned. Marie complained over the years how her husband did nothing but drink and abuse her and she was about to leave. We saw this behavior from him as we lived there.

 

Well Marie finally left and he went around talking how she was abusive to him and how she hurt him. Well my wife fell for his crap and we were not going to good at the time but we were still going. She started sitting outside by his house( he lived next door) and would tell me you know what Marie did to him? I didn't care because he is a liar and my wife is stupid enough to believe him. Well stuff started getting fishy. SHe told me she wanted out and I did'nt have to worry about paying her a dime for the kids. WHAT! Ok, something is going on here. We would fight and she would go to her dad's for a few days. Call me and tell me to be gone before she got home. Then she would come home anyways and say I wanted you to see the kids while she walked right outside to sit and talk to him.

 

A few days went by and everything seemed to calm down, she even slept with me but I was sure something was going on. She started this job thing for him cleaning up this empty duplex, painting and stuff. She would do it at night after the kids went to bed and fall asleep over there. I got tired of it and one day we got into a big fight, we threw things and she had a knife and pointed it at me. I hit her and threw hewr down. I hurt her pretty bad. Now not knowing what if anything happened, it drived me nuts knowing that I hurt her period. Now I live with a friend and have assult charges against me again. I give up, im ready to just call it quits but I have those kids and I love them so much. Why did this all happen? I wish I could get closure and her tell me the truth.

[Ms Omaniac]

i can tell you truly love this woman...but you two sound like youre toxic for each other. it sounds like she is literally driving you crazy and you are not have a lot of control of your emotions or anger right now. the fact that you have become abusive also is telling how youre losing control of the situation and youre resorting to violence. violence, though, will make the situation worse...i hope you realize that. you shouldnt resort to that but i guess i understand why you did...but that doesnt make it acceptable by any means.

 

you two really do need time apart though. you two are making each other miserable. it's upsetting, i know....especially since you have children. but you dont want your kids to see your relationship like this. they will base their future relationships on your actions and what you and your wife is doing is not remotely healthy.

 

if your marriage is going to work....you need counseling to try and communicate better...maybe she can tell you about the stuff youve been suspecting all along. maybe you cant handle that though because it is a lot to digest and then forgive.

 

sorry for all the pain you must be going through...hang in there.

 

- ivy

[heloladies21]

Well if you wanna do what's right for the kids, you'll get this divorce ASAP. My parents got divorced and I was happy about it. No more fighting or anything. I wish they would've done it sooner.

 

Stop living with this woman, stop calling her, stop seeing her period. Be willing to give her up to save your kids.

[dan2005]

I moved far away with a friend. It hurts not to see my kids but I need to do this to get my head staraight. I love her to death and I tried. I wonder if she ever really loved me though.