Is 2 week of NC on his behalf, long?

[regret1]

I think I am having relapse right now. Without this wonderful site I would have checked myself into a mental hospital. I have maintained (this wednesday) 1 months of NC. This would be the longest NC ever. He tried to contact me for two weeks in the begginning and I ignored him. Now he has not contact me at all for two weeks. Is two weeks of NC a long time. I gues I am missing him so much now. I need encouragement to not pick up the phone and move on. NC is for myself and not about getting the ex back. I have read numerous posts, and I don't really see any succes story out there.

[Bounder]

I can only hope to have your strength and make it to a month....I am having trouble getting a week (mind you we have job interviews and stuff still to swap). Just keep pouring it out and we will keep listening and being there ok?

 

If he wants to talk to you, he'll find a way. I never understood the logic of ignoring phone calls and stuff....why not answer them?

[regret1]

Thanks so much Bounder...it is hard trust me, 1 months is a big success on my behalf. Why am i ignoring him? I don't want to be friends. I love him. He is also very unstable emotionally. Thanks for your support for listening to me. Hey remember, post here, I'll give you my full support.

[Bounder]

Went on a date today toa museum and had a good chat. But part of me wishes it was my ex who was at that museum, could see me being who she fell in love with....but then, I was doing this stuff before, why did she quit loving me for it? She sued to say I quit doing stuff with her, but I tried and she had work, was tired or didnt feel like it. Part of me wants to call her and say I went to the museum exhibit you were too tired for and it was amazing, your loss!

[SeaDogg]

Well, after a month, it is a long time IMO. When my ex called it off back in April, she demanded no contact... of course me being the dumpee tried all I could for a couple weeks to try and get her to change her mind... then I started to get better and went 4-5 days then 1-2 weeks... but now it's been over 3 months since I have even heard from or tried to contact her...

 

After a month passed I was telling myself how over her I was and was glad to be away from her, but just recently (like the past couple days) I have had the strong urge to call her, even as I write this I just want to be able to give her a ring and see how things are going with her, but she told me she'd contact me when she's ready, if it's in the next 10 minutes, great, if never, then that's something I've spent the past 3 months preparing for, and it's more along the lines of "oh well, big deal" now...

 

Something to make the time go by... hang out with your friends, go out and do all you can, have a great time and live life to the fullest.

[Satin]

Good for you on the one month NC Regret. The odd thing about your situation is that you SAY you ignored him when he DID try contacting you for two weeks, and NOW that he has stopped you miss him. Which is it that you want? I am confused about this. I also wonder if my ex feels the same way at times? Meaning...does he secretly WISH I would contact him, and actually WANT to hear from me?..or would he be annoyed? I don;t know because he is not talking to me currently. I think he thinks I am weak (which I am right now and have been)...but I am HOPING I can gain some strength and maintain NC like you have.

I will keep posting so hopefully tha will help...and keep reading posts like yours.

[Bounder]

Maybe contact when it no longer matters what the person says or does, because you are strong enough anyways. Sometimes yeah, it would be nice to call them and hear that they too miss you, in all likelyhood they do, and maybe wondering about what you're up to...especially if you are being strong. BUT, do not use it as a way of trying to gain strength or self esteem....because that throws you backa few steps. am i making sense? These are ideas I am still trying to believe myself.

[regret1]

Thanks guys for the encouraging posts.

 

Satin

Good for you on the one month NC Regret. The odd thing about your situation is that you SAY you ignored him when he DID try contacting you for two weeks, and NOW that he has stopped you miss him. Which is it that you want? I am confused about this. I also wonder if my ex feels the same way at times? Meaning...does he secretly WISH I would contact him, and actually WANT to hear from me?..

 

Yes, I ignored him when he did come in contact with me for the first 2 weeks. Excessive calling, text, and leaving voice messages: begging to see me. In essense, I ignored him because I see no point of us prolonging the relationship. It has ended. He is trying to be immature, and trying to be friends. I don't want to be friend...I want a relationship. thereforeeee, I am ignoring his calls completely. However, when I do see him, maybe never, I will act very nice. Never be mean. I will happily see him if he ever come by my house. Why am I doing this? I want him to truly miss me or move on. It is for the best either way. A win win situation.

 

SeaDogg

After a month passed I was telling myself how over her I was and was glad to be away from her, but just recently (like the past couple days) I have had the strong urge to call her, even as I write this I just want to be able to give her a ring and see how things are going with her,

 

I know exactly what you are feeling. Trust me...I think I might even miss mine more than you. Before I go to bed, I miss him like crazy and the first thing when I wake up. However, you have to be truly discipline and tell yourself that NC is for you. Please, Please, use NC as for you to recover and not get back your ex. I know 'getting back' is in your subconscious thought. But reading thousands of post, I never see anybody actually winning their ex back. I use to believe it that it could. But after, researching this forum to death, I did not see any success stories (very few). Thus, I tell myself every day that contacting will put me 3 steps backward not forward. I take 1/2 step forward per day. thereforeeee, you do the calculation. Not a wise thing to contact, right?

 

Just my 2 cents

[phillygal]

I think the NC thing is the hardest thing to do, especially when you miss the person so much and you want to talk to them so badly. I'm currently doing that now, I'm only on day 4 of NC and its killing me. Yesterday I almost gave in and called but I kept telling myself I would be going backwards. Yes, I would have the momentary happiness of hearing his voice, but in the long run I would regret it, and be hurting 10 times more than I am now. "Regret1", I really admire you for being so strong about the NC thing. I probably would cave in if he called me. I'm the one that initiated NC because I also wanted a relationship not a friendship with this guy I'd been seeing. I told him if we can't be in a relationship then there is no reason to still talk to each other. And even though it killed me to do that, I know it was the right thing. I'm so glad that you have the strength but also this online site to help you through this, because I know for me this has been really helpful. Good luck!

[regret1]

"Regret1", I really admire you for being so strong about the NC thing. I probably would cave in if he called me.

 

It is very very hard...you just have to do it. Yes, NC is the hardest thing to do when you miss them sooo much.