Not happy?

[corazonroto]

I am completely destroied..... not sure what to do. My wife has asked me to get a divorce, 2 days before she went for a bussines trip. She mention that we would talk in 2 weeks after she comes back.

 

I am not sure where to stand. we have been married for a little bit over 1 year. It all feels like a bad soapopera. I have not done anything but treat her the best possible way, trying to go the extra mile to make her happy. 1-2 months ago she started to change quite a bit. She actually started to become weird when she got her current job, 6 months ago. Now, she is finding and hunging out with people that I have never heard of, on the 3 years that I know her. She is coming late from work, after going to have drinks with her male coworker to talk about their boss since they can do it in the office. The guy is kind of disgusting, according to her, and he actually is.

 

My wife is drop gorgeous, and not only because I love her, but because she can turn heads without having to wear tiny skirts. She told me that she is not or has not cheat on me, but would she accept it if she was??? I lost my trust on her, when I found out that she was having drinks with her coworker when I went to look for her where I thought she was at. That day she had not called me all day, and then I found her with her coworker at a bar, half drunk and smoking. She claim they were having a profesional talk, but how profesional can it be at a bar over drinks?

 

Every since she has been acting even more weird, very cold, I can hardly remember the last time we had sex, when at the end she said "this is too much work" . I never saw this coming, she told me that she was not happy, but she could not explain why she is not happy. As a matter of fact she is not like the normal women, that are able to communicate. Instead I have to start the communication, and I suck at it. I bring things up the wrong way. but we never seem to fight. We just argue and forget about it later. I can tell that she was not happy, but we were working towards goals to make us happier. I do not think that getting rid of me is the answer. Her strong personality and hard cold heart will not meet any one that will ever treat her better than I do. No one will have the patients that I have towards her and her issues. As a matter of fact even her mom does not think that she is being rational, nor she knows what she wants.

 

But now I am destroyed. I can hardly work, I can stop thinking what should I do. I will have to wait for the next 2 weeks to be able to talk to her. but do I want her back? I have lost my trust in her. I don't want to work on anything, since I feel like all I was working and trying to accomplish was for our relation to succeed, to grow.... now I am working for nothing, to accomplish nothing. The grass is getting tall, I don't care, I have a knot in my stomage and an empty space in my heart. I am not sure how I am goign live through this. Pretty patetic for a guy don't you think? What happen to all of our dreams that we had?, just last weekend (6 days ago) she had me build a patio deck so that we could do thing in the patio, how can we now be getting divorce? She said that she was going to think about it during her trip, that she needs some solo time to think things over. But as much as I love her, and I would give anything for her, I don't think that I should take her back. I don't want this awfull feeling in my heart again. And now that I am going thru it, I should get rid of it. But willl I ever find another person like her, that I can love and trust like I used to with her?

 

Well if someone has read all this, thanks for any input. I will be heading to my empty house to do some solo time. Why does it have to hurt so badly?

[confusedashell]

Theres something VERY wrong here mate. This is a blessing in diguise. Seems like its been You putting it all into that relationship and shes been taking. Shes caught up in a new lifestyle that doesnt include you. Something similar has happened to my wife, now ex wife. Just walk away and dont look back. You deserve a hell of a lot better. I know I do.

[DN]

It hurts so badly because you love her.

 

Did she give specifics about why she wanted a divorce?

 

I think that was an absolute filthy thing to do - to tell you that she wanted a divorce and then go away on a business trip before talking about it in an adult way.

 

In your place, I would pack up her stuff, put it in storage and tell her when she comes back to find somewhere else to live, unless she wants to put the marriage back together.

 

Don't let her take complete control. Assert your right to happiness as well, and if that means playing hardball, then so be it.

[confusedashell]

 

I think that was an absolute filthy thing to do - to tell you that she wanted a divorce and then go away on a business trip before talking about it in an adult way.

 

Excatly what my "wife" did. Dropped it on me and left for her vacation with her mother and our son the very next morning. I see a pattern...

[DN]

It's a cowards way out - it means they don't have to deal with anything and hope the partner will have accepted the situation by the time they return.

[confusedashell]

Yes it is indeed. Shes tried to be out of my way ever since. Our "talk" about our son was me talking and her saying nothing. When it comes to the crunch she'll end up telling me "I didnt agree to that". Funny how such love can start to transform into hatred.

[swift44]

i think she has alot of problems going ona dn liek 90% of females i know, she taking it out on the person that shoudl be most important, im srry you have to go through it i can only hope she'll come around, srry man i really wish i could help more but all i can say is stay up and pray that it can work out. good luck and the best of wishes

[SkyFire]

Dude, sorry to hear that.

 

But it's best to let her go. She doesent love you, there's nothing you can do. Some things are not worth fighting for. It's gonna be hella hard, but it's for the best. But look at the bright side.. you are a free man again.

 

Prepare to get raped in divorce court though

[corazonroto]

Well I am still here waiting for her to come back. I was supposed to join her in her bussines trip for a little get away. I made plans, bought a ticket to meet her and she drops this on me!!!!

 

Not too sure why I call her, but I have since she left. I have not touch the "divorce" since we are suppose to talk about it later, I just want to know that she is OK. Is that bad? SHould I stop call in....... I am starting to get used to the whole idea now

 

Thanks for the advice,