My life: am I being a little immature?

[Stinkweed]

Alright, I've been having this sort of mess going through my head... It's been there several days, and I've gotten distracted doing stuff and stop thinking about it for a little a couple of times, and sometimes just when I think it's sorted out, I become confused again... Plz take a look at this post: link removed

 

Like I said there, I just feel I missed on a big deal of my youth... when I was 14-16 I had no social skills, and I lived inside my own shell where I hated myself and everyone else and I was bitter and resentful and I pitied myself... It wasn't until I was almost 17 when I started enjoying life and being "young"... I dunno if I'm being immature or if I'm some sort of weird late bloomer or something like that (not physically, though... I've looked older than I actually am since I was like 15, which is part of my following dilemma...). I certainly don't look THAT young, which brings me to the question: Lately, I've felt the urge to dress differently than I've always done, and have a hairstyle different to what I've always had, and just be what I wanted to be since back when I was 15... I certainly don't look 15, which brings me to the conflict: Am I too old to be changing like that? Should I keep on going with the same ritual of every year?

 

This school year I had changed my look like 8 times. Say, I started spiking my hair up, and I thought my parents would say I was too old to be doing that, etc. But they didn't make much of it. But then I started growing my hair, so the spikes would be larger... So, they keep saying I should get a haircut, cause I'm not a kid anymore, but I say "plz, just let me trim it this time and I promise when I turn 18, I will get the haircut you want). And I wanted to change my wardrobe too, and well, I guess I still give me the "weird eye", but it has gone down a little better than I expected. And it just makes me wonder, dammit, am I really too old to do those things I've wanted ever since I was like 14? Should I just have let those stupid little "dreams" die off? That familiar feeling of feeling "too old" from back when I was 14-16 is coming back, but I'm afraid this time it might be true...

 

I dunno... Should I listen to myself, or should I do what the others think? After all, in this world, only what the others think is right is what is truly right... Funny how such a small thing creates such a mess inside of me... Once again, I apologize... I'm just venting. It's cool. Express your opinion if you want to, though. Best wishes.

[Aikoji]

I think your doing just what you need to do in your situation. You're not too old in my opinion. We're around the same age actually, and I'm still a bit immature, but I just don't mind being 'odd' out of the classroom. When in class I try to be an ideal student that teachers respect. That's worked for me pretty well all my life. My advice is to go through with your 'dreams' and just don't let that effect your schoolwork. In 9th grade there was someone in my English class who was a goth and got 4.0 and all the teachers liked her. It's certainly impossible, you just have to be able to alter your attitude a bit. As for changing your clothes ad look, well I do that a lot too. It's kinda humorous to see a picture of me from the year before and a picture of me now. It's natural for your tastes and style to change even regularily. Sometimes I think my clothes reflect my feelings, for example you'd never see me in a tank-top and capris if some incident like my Grandma died etc... So perhaps since it seems evident your personality changed a bit that explains it, who knows Good luck and I hope everything turns out alright^^

[Aikoji]

****It's certainly not impossible (stupid typing XD)