Encouraging words?

[misery12]

I know I already post like a crazy man, but you have to agree, it's nice to vent to strangers, when you seek advice.

 

Anyways, you all know about my situation, well my ex has still been keeping in contact with me, usually talking to me once a day or so..

Yesterday it was her birthday, so I said happy birthday to her, and sent her a short/funny poem I wrote for her.

 

She hasn't commented on it yet, but she seemed really happy when she talked to me yesterday, even though I know I shouldn't disect her messages. ( this was in the morning).

 

Well the day passed, and at night I got a message from her saying "will you marry me" .. and I replied, "maybe for your next birtday" but it turned out to be her friend, who I am also friends with.

 

I later checked my ex's screen name.. and it was "gone to visit 'X' "

(X being the guy she may have fooled around with at the party last weekend).

 

My friend was here and he told me.. "she only put that up there so you'd worry about it, so.. just don't worry about it." and that's what I did.

 

But still.. it bugs me. Last night she read my away message before she signed off too, (she doesnt know if I saw her name or not because my away message said I was out last night).

 

I know I have to move on.. and that's what I'm doing. She feels as if she's in control, but if I show her no sign of weakness, then sooner or later, he actions really won't phase me anymore.. OR.. she'll stop playing games with me, and come around.

 

Either way, im good.. I just need some encouraging words from experienced people, on what to do when you see that your ex is visiting another guy, who might have a "thing". This guy really gets around, and everyone knows it.. and my ex is the type that only goes for people she likes, so even if she did hook up with him, I think she'd get bored, or see what she lost with me.. or something.

 

So, like I said.. I know what I HAVE to do.. but what are some things to do/think about on my journey, which will help me?

[DN]

Time to find another girlfriend who will put all these thoughts about your ex out of your head.

 

She is playing games - who needs someone like that in their life?

 

So, what about the other friend? What's the deal with her?

[misery12]

She's just a friend, really... I don't think I'd ever have something with her.

I don't really want to, and im not attracted to her.. plus, it wouldn't get me too far going out with my ex's best friend...

 

I am going to move on, and be fine with whatever comes out.

I hope.

[SilverManic]

Life will get easier. You can be friends with an ex but it takes a lot of effot and sometimes just isn't worth the hastel. You should think about 'you first' and find new goals to reach in your life.

GL,

~S.

[smallworld]

I know I have to move on.. and that's what I'm doing. She feels as if she's in control, but if I show her no sign of weakness, then sooner or later, he actions really won't phase me anymore.. OR.. she'll stop playing games with me, and come around.

I agree with DN. She's playing games with you. The solution isn't a matter of her being in control or you not showing any "weakness."

 

The solution is to just stop playing, period. Even though it's satisfying to give as good as you get, if you're concerned about what to do and how to act based on her actions, then it's obvious you still care what she thinks and you're still playing the game.

 

The problem is it's a losing game. You can't win. She left and she should have to live with the consequence of her actions. As long as you take your calls, etc. she gets to enjoy her new bf while toying with your heart. Not cool.

 

So what to do? Start thinking in terms of "me, myself, and I," not "She." She doesn't matter anymore.