It goes on- What happened at the party...

[HellFrost666]

I thought I should probably tell everyone what happened at the party...

 

I posted yesterday in one of my other threads, but no one had anything to say... Anyone who doesn't know the situation, read my other post in Infidelity. It's not that long.

 

I drank very little. But I impressed her by showing her I know how to make a Comocozi (I have no idea how to spell that, but you get the idea. It's her favorite drink.)

 

But, I didn't exactly behave myself either. I was outside in the back yard with her and a few other guys for a while and the two guys went inside. Things happened... We were talking, I became affectionate, and we kissed. I was only going to kiss her once, but we ended up kissing for 10 minutes. Maybe longer, who keeps track?

 

We went back inside and the hostess of the party yells out "Hey your makeup's all smeared!" to her. She got all embarrassed, it was so cute.

 

We all decided to go to a late movie at midnight. She sat beside me and I held her hand the whole time.

 

It was around 4 am when people started leaving. Some people just stayed and slept there though. Her and I slept in the guest bedroom together. When I say slept I mean that literally, no sex. It was great though. I fwlt such an intimacy with her.

 

We spent a large part of today together back at my house. I know now that I love this woman. I really think she feels the same way. I think it's time to have a serious conversation about this. This is what could be the greatest relationship I'll ever have, or what could be a mind-numbing disater. But I love her. I feel like a teenager again...

 

Problem is, I don't know how I should talk to her about it. I know what I feel, but saying it is a whole diffferent story. She is easy to talk to, hopefully that will be to my advantage.

[Caldus]

You "love" someone that you hung out with for one day?

[kskm]

I think that it's great what has happened so far, be sure to say the correct things when it comes time to have the serious conversation... Good Luck!

[HellFrost666]

You "love" someone that you hung out with for one day?

 

Ah, obviously you didn't read the back story. I didn't meet her at the party. I met her over a month ago. And yes, I do believe I love her.

[Caldus]

You "love" someone that you hung out with for one day?

 

Ah, obviously you didn't read the back story. I didn't meet her at the party. I met her over a month ago. And yes, I do believe I love her.

 

And you talked to her on a regular basis ever since?

 

I'm just saying, be careful. It could still be infatuation even after a month. I wouldn't tell her you love her yet. I bet that would freak her out.

[Hope75]

I think it's nice that you had a good time at the party with her, but what happened to giving her some space and time to figure out what's going on with her marriage before you pounced on her?

 

She literally got away from her husband just a few weeks ago, there is no divorce in the works, nothing is final.

 

Don't you think you should give her some time to regroup and figure out what she wants to do regarding her husband, and be patient and let her figure that out, or do you want to crowd her and overwhelm her with your affections and indirectly pressure her to get involved when she's had no time for herself to recover from this seperation, which is not yet a divorce?

[mas3]

Very true words spoken by hope, getting the runoff of a bad realtionship sucks its happened to me i'd wait till things are finalized and that you know it for sure, i hope it all works out in your favor sounds like ya really like her man.

[HellFrost666]

 

Don't you think you should give her some time to regroup and figure out what she wants to do regarding her husband, and be patient and let her figure that out, or do you want to crowd her and overwhelm her with your affections and indirectly pressure her to get involved when she's had no time for herself to recover from this seperation, which is not yet a divorce?

 

I really want to do that, but it's hard. I guess I just feel like she has a right to know how I feel. It seems like it's important, and wouldn't be a good thing to keep from her. My feelings for her weren't planned, but they are there and I can't just stop them.

 

I also think I have a right to know where I stand with her. Would she consider officially ending things with him and being with me? I don't know, but I want to find out.

 

Yes, things at the party didn't exactly go as planned. Her spending yesterday with me was just an impulse thing, like sleeping with her in the guest bedroom, and kissing her outside was. But she never resisted in any of it. She didn't act uncomfortable in any way.

 

I know I shouldn't preassure her, but I don't get the feeling I am doing that. That's another thing I was to talk to her about. If she thinks I am, I will gladly back off for a while. Like I said in another post, she is worth waiting for.

 

On a lighter note my sometimes infantile roomate still finds this all halarious. His latest thing is calling me by the feminine version of my name. I don't know what is so funny about all of this, but he is rolling at my predicament.

[Hope75]

Yes it's hard, and this is not your typical dating situation. She does know how you feel, remember? You told her in the car the night you dropped her off that you were interested if she chose to leave her husband. I think it's also pretty clear from your actions that you are interested in her. Telling her that again is putting alot of pressure on her.

 

You are putting yourself before her right now, and in this delicate situation you really need to give her the time to figure her situation out.

 

You've said all along that you've waited all this time for her and that she is worth the wait, and yet now you won't wait for her and you are pressuring her, and you want to know now what she plans to do. Which is it? What's your rush? Don't you want to be fair to her?

 

If you didn't want this kind of complicated start, you should not have gone after a married woman, regardless of her situation at home. If you cannot handle giving her time and space, you still have the choice to walk away.

 

If she is important to you and worth the wait as you say, than you will back off and give her time to decide if she wants to divorce her husband and see you.

[HellFrost666]

Hope, your post does make a lot of sense. I see what you mean, I am being selfish.

 

My only concern with backing off is that she might think I've lost interest in her. I don't want her thinking that. So how do I avoid it?

 

The fact that we hang around the same people could be a good thing here or a bad thing I suppose.

 

Another thing I failed to mention, just in case anyone is wondering, her husband is seeing someone else on a regular basis now. He'll probably cheat on this new girl just like he cheated on his wife.

[Hope75]

I don't think she believes you have lost interest. You slept in a bed with her and made out with her this weekend.

 

If you are that concerned, you can send her a letter explaining that you are interested, but that you want to be fair and give her some time and space to figure out what to do with her marriage. That you don't think it's fair to smother her while she is trying to figure out what to do.

 

If she decides to get a divorce, and when she is ready, you would love to date her. If not, that's OK too and you wish her the best of luck.

 

I think even that is pushing it, because you have given her every indication that you are more than willing to wait and you already told her this in the car when you dropped her off.

 

Let her figure her life out, and if you are willing to wait, it may be worth your wait. Don't make this situation worse by forcing her to make a decision now when she is still married, has not filed for divorce, and has not had enough time to decide what she wants to do.

[Iceman26]

I agree with Hope. Even if her marriage has hit the bricks, wait until the divorce is final.

 

You gotta finish one chapter of your life before you begin the next one, you know?

 

Hang in there buddy, but dont put all of your eggs in one basket if you know what I mean.

 

This will be a difficult time for her, and if you have any chance of a relationship, you will need to exercise much patience and uinderstanding with this one.

[HellFrost666]

Okie, I'm drunk right now...

 

I just talked to her for three hours and I'm hurting that she isn't here beside me. SHe told me they talked about officially filing...

 

I know it's not just because of me, it's because of a lot of things. I am probably the least of the reasons.

 

When he bit her I wanted to show up there when he is home and tell him to take his anger out on me... not her. She doesn't deserve it I seduced her. and My god, the sex was amazing... Obviously I didn't do that. She won't tell him who I am because she is protecting me. Sometimes I wish she would tell him so he would have someone else to be angry at.

 

I want to call her so bad right now and tell her to get over here.

 

and I really wish my roomate would stop calling me Andrea!

[Hope75]

OK Hellfrost,

 

She is taking steps in the right direction, for herself. I know how much you want to be with her, and it sounds as though she is definitely interested in being with you, but be strong and keep letting her come to you, at her own pace.

 

It seems you are growing increasingly anxious and frustrated at the speed this relationship is moving, but remember, it is not like other relationships, and it is moving forward, so try to give her some time and breathing room.

 

Let her breathe, and come to you, when she is ready.

[HellFrost666]

I feel like a real idiot now after reading my drunk emotional post...

 

My conversation with her the other night was indescribable. It started out on line but we ended up talking on the phone for most of it. Things got emotional from both sides. She told me she went to look for another apartment, but then her and her sister talked and decided to just be roomates for the time being. She has moved most of her stuff into her sister's place and they made it ok with the landlord for her to live there.

 

She told me that she can't believe this is all happening so fast, and that after wedding day things between her and her husband just changed, it was like he was a whole different person. SHe is also having a hard time dealing with her family (with the exception of her sister) right now, because they keep rubing it in her face. She is getting a lot of "I told you so." from her parents.

 

Her husband calls me her BoyToy. (I have to laugh about that one.) She also said the husband's new girlfriend is sending her nasty e-mails a lot now too. His new girlfriend is one of the girls he used to cheat on her with.

 

Now on the other end of things I told her that this isn't just killing time for me, that I am really serious about her and I am falling for her. I told her about my passed expiriences. I told her all about getting burned pretty bad by a girl before I came to the US.

 

I didn't call her back that night and ask her to come over, but I wanted to. Since I was drunk I didn't think it would be a good idea. I'm sure she'll meet drunk me in due time...

 

I realize it's stupid to be annoyed with me roomate. He is a funny guy and he's never seen this side of me before. He finds humor in every situation and I just need to deal with it. (Besides I've seen him get far worse over girls in the passed.)

 

Next time he calls me Andrea I'll just mention the time he fought with his ex and was crying like a baby after a few Jager bombs, that'll shut him up.

 

For the record, my name is not Andrew, it's something kinda close to that. I'm just saying this because I don't want people calling me that on here because it's not my name.