Pre-college advice? (I'm really nervous)

[Rigel]

First of all I would like to thank everyone who replied to my last topic about choosing a college. Your advice really helped influence my decision to choose my school. (The one everyone suggested) I feel like I've made the right decision in choosing this school but that still doesn't make me less nervous.

 

In high school I was always known as that "quiet, mysterious girl" I had a small group of friends hardly attended any social events(like prom). I partially regret this and I feel I have the chance for a fresh start in college. I'm shy and I'm gradually trying to help myself become more outgoing. I don't want to be known as that quiet mysterious girl in college.

 

I want to attend social events and meet new people. I'm so nervous about the whole thing though. I'll be 3 1/2 hours away from home so I can't just run home to my parents if I feel scared.

 

Any suggestions or tips would be great. I understand that all incoming freshman are nervous about college to a certain degree but I just don't wanna blow this chance for a fresh new start.

 

Thanks,

~Rigel

[Caldus]

You are right. Those other incoming freshman will be just as shy and insecure as you are about college even if they don't act like it. So you want to become more outgoing? Well, I take it the reason you are so shy around people is that you feel that you have nothing in common with them. The best way to get a good conversation going is to be in a setting where you know you can get common ground with the other person easily or easily relate to them in some other way. Because obviously then you will know something to say to them. An example of this would be a school club or joining a sport.

 

The thing is though, is that in college you will be able to relate to just about anyone there. The best thing to do is wear a good smile and after greeting people, just ask what their major is or if they are living on campus. You can ask little questions like this until you two can relate well in some way. For example, if you used to be in the Chemistry club in high school, then if someone says they are majoring in Chemistry, mention about your club from high school and talk about it a little. At that point both of you are already connected a little.

 

And while at school, join some clubs if you can. Maybe even get a job on campus which would force you to interact with people from your school. Your shyness sounds like the typical shyness: the type where you just don't know what to say to people. Well, make yourself be able to know what to say by being in clubs you are interested in. You can always try striking up conversations with people from your classes too. You will find that most people like having people approach them. At least most of the time they don't hate it.

 

Good luck!

[mtastic]

I agree with Caldus. Your school should have plenty of activites going on the first few weeks of the semester, so just keep checking the school paper and bulliten boards. Also, I've always found it easier to get to know people through my classes, as your classmates are people you're gauranteed to see two to three times a week, which makes getting to know them a little less stressful because you can do it gradually.

 

Don't worry too much, like you said, the majority of incoming freshmen won't know anybody either. I was in a similar position to you, I moved 5 hours away from home for college, and when I got there i didn't know anyone and had to start totally from scratch in terms of making friends, but I survived (I just graduated and am moving on to grad school in the fall). Remember, as you start meeting people, they will probobly introduce you to people they have become friends with, and you'll be able to meet people that way.

 

Trust me, I know how stressful making friends can feel, and college it self can seem a little daunting at first, especially if you're moving far from home to a totally new place. Fell free to pm or IM me if you want to talk.

 

mtastic

[DropToZero]

JUST....GO....literally... haha

 

Um...really I just finished my college freshman year as a commuter(wish I had lived on campus tho, its would have been sooooo much better)...

 

What I mean by Go is get off of your computer...turn it off or something(even tho I know in dorms that is a huge communcation tool), and go out with people. Make friends w/ everyone on your dorm floor, and slowly anyone else you can meet.

 

Another thing....I have to be honest here tho, I was like you too, and the biggest thing that helped me to really get out there was drinking...even if not a lot....not saying you should or shouldn't, but it really helps to calm nerves a little and make you less of a shy person...you'll say more of what's on your mind if you're a little buzzed and be more open to the people around you. Just my way tho

[Caldus]

Haha yeah just get a little buzzed and that could help too. Don't down too much beer or liquor or you will be spending your time at the toilet rather than with other people. And remember:

 

Liquor before beer, never fear.

Beer before liquor, never been sicker.

[darkblue]

lol.. well that's one way to calm the nerves..

 

Cal is right, every freshman is going to feel just as nervous.

 

You are not alone [free advertisment]

 

Meet new people; eventually you will come out of your shell.

 

Normally after the first day, you'll feel more comfortable.

[SimoneTiger]

Not so sure about what others have written, although their advice is certainly valuable--it's up to you and only you to create a new social network!

 

However, chances are, if you were the shy, mysterious girl in high-school, you will be the shy, mysterious girl in college as well. That's who you are, and it will take much more work than what you perceive as a fresh start to change that.

 

My suggestion: don't worry about being like some of the "others" and having many, many acquaintances and being invited to every party out there. Focus on creating new friendships, but the kind that last for life--after all, building solid connections over the next few years is just as important as getting your education.

 

Go Venus! (Sorry, can't stand Davenport.) 8)

[dude123]

Im starting my first year of college in a little more then a week. I don't know but I am not really exited. Im just like whatever I start college and Im getting on with my whole life. I just look at it really easily like I almost don't care but I actually do lol some of you might call me a weird person.

[ShySoul]

Shy, mysterious girls are the best type of girls. Why would you want to change?

 

Join a club, preferably one that has to do with what you plan on studying. It will allow you to meet new people and socialize, and can also help your career path as well.

[cichlid]

No advice from me really...just thought I'd say I was teh same way before I started college. I was so shy! But when I went to college I realized I needed to not be so afraid of talking to people. I mean if you mess up and say something stupid...they probably won't remember you in a week anyway. In the dorms, you will meet lots of people. Although it has its downsides...you really do meet a lot of people. Like as long as you don't lock your door and keep it closed, and don't just have an expression of irritation/boredom most will come up and introduce themselves. Start small and go from there. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with. Say hi to a random person in your class everyday. Chat awhile! I know I appreciate it when someone talks to me. Um...sad thing is unless you are going to a small college, you probably will not keep most your friends from semester to semester to start off with. When you get into your major...maybe.

 

And...OMG! Do go to clubs and meetings. Seriously...people will practically walk up to you and start talking as long as you look pleasant. I went to a few club meetings and all I did was sit there and there were quite a few people that came up and started talking! I didn't do anything.

 

Now I must leave...I have to go to calculus 2 in a little bit. Don't worry in college...alright?Unles your mom does everything for you, you will become less shy because you will have to deal with so many different types of people!

[drydupfob]

Just finished my first year of college, And to tell you the truth. It was the BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE. I go to UC Riverside, but I live 6 hours away. Seriously it was such a good thing, I love my parents and everything but I think I really got the whole college experience by not going home so much.

 

As for meeting people goes, if you live in a dorm. All you have to do is smile and be yourself. If you are not one to make the first effort, others will. It seems to me that you really care about what others think of you.

 

And what college has taught me is not to, but rather to follow your dreams. It sounds corny but its so true. You can never live for someone else, thereforeeee who cares what others think...

 

I think im getting off topic, but dont worry about meeting people. Just be yourself and respectful of others.