alcoholic parents- I can't take it anymore!!

[winterfairy]

Okay my mom and dad are both alcoholics. This is the rundown of the past year of my life: My mom lost her job, got two DUI's, we had to sell our house, we got sued for 20,000 dollars, my dad lost his job, we moved three times, they were both unemployed for about two months, my dad got another job that pays 25,000 dollars less than his other, my mom also got another job and lost it yesterday. They lie around and drink all the time- talking about how depressed they are. They ask me for money. I work a minimum wage job. I give them whatever I can to pay bills with. I'm killing myself and it never amounts to anything. Today they told me to not commit suicide because they "need me around" to "hold the family together"!

 

Well I'm sick of it! I'm tired and I want to get out. I fantasize about running away. When I drive I wish I would get in a wreck and die. I think about death all the time. If they would stop drinking about half of our problems would be gone! My mom's been wasted all day and she kept calling me asking me to buy her sleeping pills (yeah like I would let her take sleeping pills when she's that drunk!) and when I said I wouldn't she threatened to go herself (she doesn't even have a license anymore). I had to race home from my friend's house to make sure they are still here. I'm terrified they're going to kill themselves all the time. My mom mixes tons of pills (valiums, diet pills, sleeping pills) that she gets off the internet with alcohol. Sometimes I think she's trying to die. My dad sometimes just breaks down and starts crying for no reason- he is doing this more and more. I can't say anything around him anymore. He is so depressed he never gets out of bed.

 

My family is falling apart and I'm the only one that can do anything about it! I want to get out of here but I love them and want to pay them back for all the years they've taken care of me. I can't go on anymore. I know things will never change- unless they get worse. There is no hope of anything ever getting better. They've tried programs like AA but they can't stand the idea of someone telling them what to do. So they quit and go back to drinking. I can't stand it anymore! What should I do? Tie them up and make them stay here so they can't drink anymore?

 

I think I'm turning out like them too. I take diet pills just to make it through my day. And I take valium and vicodin if I can get it. It's the only time I feel happy- when I'm numb. What should I do? I can't move out. There's no money and no where to go, and I can't leave them on their own!! I feel so trapped! I have a brother and sister but no one cares about my parents except me. I'm the only one. I'm completely by myself. . . I just need advice on what could make them stop drinking. Please!

[mysteryman]

Try talking to them. Alcaholics anonymous may be able to help. This may sound weird but. Maybe try to switch the alachol with non-alcaholic stuff like near-beer or grape juice. If it continues on and on you may haftoo leave.And suicide is never the answer. You have but 1 life to live. Dont waste it.

[Jetta]

Okay both your parents are depressed. You need to get them to talk to their doctor or someone who can put them on anti-depressants for a start. They are using these other things to self treat their depression. There are local governments that provide health care services for free if they don't have the money. Once they are feeling like themselves again they can focus on improving things.

[DN]

link removed

 

check out this website and see if you can locate the nearest one to you. It is a group to help the families and children of alcoholics. Please call them soon, they will try their best to help you.

[Opiate]

Wow, my advice is to go to the site that DN put up for you, contact them and tell them your situation. Im pretty sure they will whatever it takes to help you and your parents out. Just do everyone a favor and DO NOT turn out like them. Now that u know how addictive alcohol is you know better than to turn out like them. You have a great oppertunity to change your life around, mabye not your parents but you can. Never give up, there is always a way to make things better, you just got to find the right cure. I wish you and your family good luck

[winterfairy]

Thanks guys. As I said, they have tried AA and written it off as "rediculous" but I should probably look into a little Al-Anon for myself, because I really struggle with this. I just think they'll have to lose everything before they finally stop, and I just don't want to see that day come. I wish there was something more I could do, that's all. . .

[DN]

AlAnon is affiliated with AA but is entirely separate. It's purpose is to help the families of alcoholics not the alcoholics themselves - that is what AA is for.

 

My father was an alcoholic and AA helped him stay off the booze for twenty years until he died a couple of years ago. He was never anywhere near as bad as your parents though.

 

The thing is that alcoholics have to recognise that they have a problem, that they need help and want to get it. You can't do that for them, it is something they have to realise for themselves.

 

So it is very important for you to know that none of this is your fault in any way. You didn't cause it, you didn't make it worse and you can't solve it on your own.

 

Good luck, let us know how things go,