wanting to help a friend with a relationship problem

[mmackenna]

My friend, two boyfriends her whole life. The first one lasting nearly 4 years. And her current one, the one which is giving her a problem.

 

He is kind of a sexaddict and afraid to be alone. He pressures my friend into having sex with him, and has cheated on her only one time that she knows of. He has been known to cheat but has promised not to and supposedly has not touch another girl for a long time. However, his exgirlfriend wants him back terribly bad. She buys him presents, she calls him, she visits him. This, of course, upsets my friend. Whenever she brings up that she doesn't want him seeing his ex (the girl he cheated with btw) he brings up her ex. My friend and her ex are best friends and even though my friends ex wants my friend back, the feelings are not mutual. My friends current boyfriend explains that is the same way with his ex.

 

So why are they still together? Baggage. My friend feels terribly guilty for sleeping with him, and is worried she might be pregnant. The test is negative thus far, but she feels unsure. What should she do? How can I help her through this mess? What can I tell her to comfort her.

[Gilgamesh]

Well there is a difference here,

 

Your female friends ex, is just a friend, and not trying to get her back and she never cheated on her B/F to be with him etc. on the other hand, her current b/f is keeping his ex as a security blanket, not only that, he knows that his ex wants him more than a friend and yet gives her the illusion there is still a chance by maintaining contact. and accepting gifts. if he was a real man dedicated to his girlfriend, he would tell the other girl I am sorry, but I cannot accept these gifts it would be disrespectful of my current relationship. or something to that effect.

 

To me it seems this guy is using his ex as a tool also to keep your female friend "in line". so he is really abusing both women. what women see in these guys is beyond me, but they flock to them like moths to a flame, and get burnt in the process every time.