What the $%^#

[alonegirl]

So today I receive a text message from my ex that says something to the effect of not being able to afford to feed our animals and buying food every week. I assume this is his response to the message I sent him on Tuesday that just was about tying up some loose ends and then I ended it with tell the animals I love them and miss them. After receiving his message, I decided I would call him. He answers the phone and I say hi and he just kind of says hi kind of snotty I tell him "if money is the issue I will pay you half for the food each month" he then makes a point of saying "I am trying to save $up for something and I can't with having to buy these animals food all the time."Get real a bag of cat food is like $7, I'm sure it's really breaking his pockets. Then he says plus I may be moving, and I say you are? and I say ok let me know when you are moving and I will get the cats before you move, and he says I'm not moving if I was moving you would be the first to know about it.WHAT?

 

I noticed he was being really snotty with me (mind you he broke up with me after 4 years because he met someone else at work) so I ask what is his problem with me why he was being so rude, we are both adults we can discuss this like adults. He says what's my problem? and then he just starts ripping in to me saying that he hates me, that I was the worst girlfriend he's ever had, that I emoitionally and mentally abused him, and how he is so happy that I am out of his life because he is back to being his old self. He continues to go on about how he was miserable for 1 1/2 years and that he didn't love me (he started his job which he HATES 1 1/2 year ago coincidence I think not), that he can now do what he wants blah blah, friends come over whenever he wants. This is funny to me because he never wanted to do anything because he was always so tired, and his friends came over every weekend. The only time I tried to stop him from doing things is when they could have gotten him in trouble again. And you know being in a new relationship he isn't spending time with his friends now. He then tells me I never loved him which really upset because we have been through a hell of a lot together and if I didn't love him I wouldn't of stuck around.

 

I hear her in the background and he says I have to go and I say why because she's right there now and he says no she's been here the whole time. He continues yelling at me and saying very hurtful things that he knows will really get to me, I then find out she's living there, 3 months after we break up and of me moving out. So we are going back and forth debating our relationship and he was being so rude and I just said you know after 4 years I thought we could settle loose ends like adults not yelling and screaming at eachother.We didn't have a mean breakup, I didn't know about her when we broke up. Throughout the whole conversation which lasted like 45 minutes he kept saying that he was happy, and that he is over it, we are done. I just said I know that's why I haven't contacted you in 3 months. He then tells me again that he is trying to save $ for something and I took the bait and asked what, he then tells me it's none of my business (well then why tell me about it) so I say what are you getting married? and he didn't answer and I said oh my god you are and he said I'm not getting married and starts laughing. He's probably blowing smoke up her butt about getting married and buying a ring just like he did me the first couple of months we were together, he even went as far as telling me he bought one, 4 years later no ring.

 

This is a 26 year old man who is now with a 19 year old and now I understand why, because his mentality is that of a 19 year old. (No offense to anyone around 19 don't mean it as an insult)

 

It's really weird how things happen because today I have been so down and I never thought I would be able to let go and start getting better, well he did that for me today. I am so mad at him. If he were so happy and so over it why in the world does he feel the need to share it with me? If he was happy and over it wouldn't you think he would be more of an adult and just say look let's tie this stuff up and be done with it? wonder if it was all for show for her, why he felt the need to have this conversation with her there I don't get. I really tried not to let what he said get to me, but it's hard not to, I mean everything he said to me was a total shock. I keep thinking was I that bad of a girlfriend? Am I that stupid that I can't tell my own boyfriend is miserable with me for 1 1/2 years? He sure didn't act miserable, he was the one always wanting me to come home so we could spend time together. He sure didn't look miserable when he saw me. Oh well it's not something I am going to try not to dwell on,

I know I did the best I could, and if he didn't like it, tough s$$t!

[smallworld]

Alonegirl, I don't know if this will make sense to you, but for some ppl - love is like war. If you're not with them, you're against them.

 

I know his vindictive behavior seems bizarre since he's the one who did the breaking up, but trust me this has more to do with his pride-ego (perhaps he was surprised you've managed to live without him so well for 3 months?) than anything to do with you or how good of a girlfriend you've been to him. If it were me I'd arrange for a go-between to get the cats and then I'd be eternally thankful that he's someone else's problem now.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Who ended the relationship? You or him

[alonegirl]

I will have someone else go get them, the problem is he says he has my stuff packed but I have no way of knowing if all my stuff is actually in there.

 

He broke up with me after 4 years saying because he wasn't in love with me anymore but he really had met someone else at work, she is now living there.

[taimeen]

alonegirl forgive me if my problem pops its face up from time to time in my responses...im still....dealing...but YOU! Girl you sound good and you are good! You are doing a ok without him, and he's is trying to pull u back into the emotionsl mess of when u first broke up....see he doesnt want you to be happy, if he did he wouldnt behave in the way he is, plus no offense, most 26 year ols guys are just %$#@ when it comes to serious commitments...me i would say forget the cats, dont talk to him again, change ur number, but if u cant do that....put that armor over ur heart, get the cats, and change ur damn number! Ur not alone, their are millions of us, breaking up, getting over breakups, and dealing with the downside to falling in love.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Dutty you say most 26 yr old guys aren't good when it comes to serious commitments as if that's a bad thing.

[taimeen]

no not a bad thing....at all....just a general statement, like saying most 14year old girls arent ready to have sex.