Saying I love You

[shorty20]

I just read a post about a guy saying I love you to his girlfriend, and it just triggered something that made me start thinking, how those words "I love you" have really begun to lose their importance. When I was in highschool, I dated a guy for three years. He told me he loved me a week after we'd been going out, and when i asked him if he said that to alot of girls, he said only the ones he "really likes" but that isn't really love! My friends get mad when they hang up the phone with their man, and he didn't say I love you. In my recent relationships, I only say it when I feel it. I don't like saying it every time I'm on the phone, or every time I see him, because then it becomes expected... routine.. and it dosen't mean anything anymore to hear it. Anyone else feel the same, or have an insite to this??

[trendyfcuk]

I know that's something my boyfriend and I have discussed. We've said *i love you* but we don't say it every 5 minutes . it does lose it's *importance*. . . we both know we love each other, and it is nice to hear it ... but not ALL the time .

im in the same boat! =)

[7CardStud]

I've only said that to 1 girl before, and that was after 7 months of dating, I said "I love you." in a poem... She destroyed me by saying she only wants to say that to the man she marries, and that she is scared.

 

So yeah, im def. not gonna pull that word out pretty much ever again... haha

[xmrth]

I do agree, but I can be the same way. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 1/2 years, so we've both shared our good ammount of saying "I love you."

2 years ago my boyfriend stopped saying it over the phone, but he still says it back. He just says he hates having to say it, and I know he loves me or else he wouldn't be with me for this long. I always say it and now I'm wondering if he's tired of hearing it? Think I should lay off the "I love yous" for even weeks?

I wonder if he'll act differently.. and want to say it or say it back eagerly. I get nervous to even try because I don't want him to feel neglected because I always have said it.

[RayKay]

I would not say the term has lost its importance, I think the young and/or inexperienced have always had a different perception of love than those with more age/experience. That is why you can have 15 year olds on here "in love" after a week, and 30-year olds NOT in love after 2 years.

 

Love can be relative to one's own perceptions and experience. The way I viewed love at 16, is not the same as I view love almost 10 years later.

 

Having said that, my partner and I say "I love you" every day, and that does not mean it is distilled in any way. Everytime we say it, we certainly feel it, and mean it, and you can hear that in the way we say it, how we say it, when we say it. We say it individually when we "feel it" and sometimes it coincides when the other person "feels it" too..sometimes it does not, but the other will still say it later when they do...

[shorty20]

I guess I just see all of my friend's boyfriend's saying it back like it's a chore. My friend always waits at the end of a phone conversation for her live-in bf to say it first... if he dosen't she gets angry and the fight for an hour about why he dosen't say it... won't he then say it just to avoid a fight and then start to hate saying it?? I agree as long as it's not routine and expected that saying I love you every day can be ok. Like my parents... i don't think a day goes by where my dad dosen't tell my mom that he loves her, but it's not like he says it because it's expected..he says it because he feels it. I also agree with what raykay said about how your perception on what love is changes as you grow up. I know that I've never said it to anyone who I didn't truly love... but I've also learned that there are several different kinds of loves... you can love someone for the person that they are and who they are to you, but you can also be in love with someone. Also, another question... i dated a guy for a year... a couple months after we started dating, he would tell me that he was "falling in love with me" but wouldn't say "I love you" do u guys think there is a difference? In the past I always took the two hand in hand, but he seemed to feel there was a difference.

[volution]

These days, for many people "I love you" simply means "I want to have sex with you eventually and that is the ultimate goal of this relationship"

Cynical, how I know!

 

We use "I love you" as such a throwaway phrase thesedays...

We say "I love cakes" - do we really LOVE cakes? Of course not, we LIKE them.

We say "I love her" - perhaps we really mean we LIKE her, not love her.

 

Gone are the days of romantic paintings, deep verse and original sentiments - we send pre-written cards, plastic flowers, and cruddy songs to show the one we 'love' that we 'love' them...

 

The Greeks had FOUR different words for Love...

We only have the one word, and with it we describe so many things...

 

Love as Sex

Love as Liking

Love as Real Love

Love as Worship

Love as Friendship

Love as Family

and more...

 

It is true many more people seem to say "I Love You" without really feeling it or meaning it now these days - sadly it has become part of the 'stages' of wooing, that we must say certain things by a certain time, or we'll be deemed 'uninterested' or 'too fast' by potential partners...

[ShyGuy444]

i totally agree, i personally find it strange when my friend and his girlfriend of about a month or so have been saying that to each other for a while. I'm not going to say it until i truly mean it, and i know that will be a long time, and i'm alright with that, because i believe that it's a phrase that shouldn't be taken lightly and should be used when you actually feel it.

[shorty20]

exactly... i think if u get used to saying it to the wrong person, that it won't mean as much when you actually say it to the right person, because it won't be new to you.... and you'd have already said it to people before who you didn't actually love...

[Inconceivable]

This topic is quite refreshing! Being a teenager, I see that phrase tossed around a little too often. I had begun to wonder if I was one of the only ones who really understood how powerful that phrase is supposed to be. I see some of my friends tossing it out at every random opportunity, once after only hours of being with a guy!

 

I'm just glad to see I'm not going crazy here! I had seriously thought that it had been incredibly (umm..what's a good word?) devalued? (Is that even a word?) The impact of hearing it was more like a "It's about time you told me" rather than an "Oh my gosh...It's real." kinda thing..

[cichlid]

Yeah...it is so annoying when people say it and don't mean it. I thought I was alone for not wanting to say it until I really loved the person. Maybe after more than 8 months to a year. Yeah...although it is funny...my best friend and I will joke around and be like "I hate you" he always wants to reply with "just kidding, I love you." He seriously has to stop himself. I know he doesn't love me...like me yes. But you know...I have no idea what that has to deal with the whole I love you stuff. Hmmm...anyway, yeah...I also hate having to say I love you all the time. I was in a relationship where it was like please stop saying it all the time it is getting annoying.