seeing other people

[gutrot]

Hey guys, I really need some help as I am insanely depressed. My girlfriend told me a short while ago that she wanted to start "seeing other people." She originally told me that I shouldn't think of it as "shopping for another boyfriend," it's just that she's young and never really did the dating thing. Anyway, she went out on a date with some guy and I'm totally broken up. I tried to call her the next day because I want to keep myself as a prospect in her mind, but she kept saying that I was "pressuring her." I sent some flowers to her with a good heartfelt note, telling her how I feel, and she told me not to do that. I feel that I have pushed her away too much by my whining and trying to get a decision from her.

 

I can't believe that she would just throw away 2.5 years of a solid relationship for some sort of crazy fantasy that she never lived. I don't know what to do. Please help me!

[caliboy]

my ex did the same thing to me. in fact, most girls do this. but i'll tell you what i've learned. *** her. obviously she doesn't respect you or else she wouldn't be doing this. don't call her or contact her. its fine that you've "whined" or whatever - it's natural, cause you still care about her a lot. i did it too with my ex. but you don't want a girl who'll treat you like this. if she's "young and want to date other people" then let her. just dont talk to her cause you'll feel like shit afterwards, cause she WONT come running back to you.

 

remember... you want a girl who's loyal and truly cares about you. not someone who's gonna do this to you.

[Gilgamesh]

I agree 100% with caliboy

 

To hell with her, get out with a little pride, your attitude should be that she is the one that is losing, which is true.

 

She's not mature enough to know what she wants or smart enough to know what she had.

 

Dont call her, move on, it will be painful, we know, but, dont extend that pain chasing a fantasy with this girl.

[gutrot]

The problem is that I truly don't think she's lying to me. My friends and family have all said the same thing. She's said that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, but she's just not ready. When I suggest that I may move out of town to a new city, she seems to get upset and says that I'm taking the wrong route.

[Troubled Girl]

I can't say I necessarily agree with the other posts although they are not wrong. You must look at the situation from all angles and evaluate it.

 

You are not wrong by showing your love but she is not wrong for wanting to see whats out there. Believe me it is better she do it now than in 10 years from now and you have to respect her honesty with you.

 

She may love you and want to spend the rest of her life with you, but if she isn't ready....she isn't ready, nothing can change that. In order to successfully contribute to a relationship, you must be happy, trustworthy and confident in yourself before you can give anything else to someone else.

 

While she is "finding" herself, my advice for you would be to do the same. I am not telling you to go date anyone, but do the things you wanted to do but never got the chance. Didn't you ever want to take a vacation with your buddies? Go somewhere, do positive things for yourself....spend as much time with your friends as you can ...

 

remember Destiny is real and it cannot be changed. I feel if you try to change the course of destiny you will always lose out. As hard as it is, move on with your life temporarily and all things will work out for you.

[Luv_Suks]

Dude

 

Have some pride, let it be, and walk away with your chin up. Know that if she does let you go, she will most definitely regret it at some point in the future. Knowing that won't help you one bit now I'm sure. Maybe it'll take a few bad relationships for her to truly realize but by then you'd probably have hooked up with someone even better, who knows. But know this, even if you give her the space to 'find' herself...and then let her back into your life..how the hell are you gonna regain all that trust that you built up together over the last 2 years. Unfortunately, most people don't realize how hard it is to actually build up that kinda trust. Despite what shes done, I know you still love her, dude, we all know how hard it is to stop loving someone you thought the world of...but life can teach us some real harsh lessons...one of them being..that people can change..

 

Never say never..but for now at least..move on...and if destiny brings you back together..then it was just meant to be..

 

Good luck dude, we feel ya..

[cs20thcenturyfox]

I agree with troubled girl, look at it from ALL angles.

[gutrot]

OMG it hurts so bad. I'm practically crying in the office for her. I'm having a complete breakdown.

 

On the good side, I didn't call her yesterday, and some old friends are coming into town this weekend to help me out. I'm just such a wreck right now, and I wish she felt the same....