Does flirting mean there is a connection?

[igwmuchas]

Ok so I don't know how many times this topic has been brought up but I wan't to put it in my own words. Does flirting mean there is some connection? Is it possible to flirt and not have a connection?

 

I have a good friend, who I never got to date but almost did. Well she had a boyfriend after and we got to be really good friends (even though I still had feelings for her ) while they went out. To make a long story short she broke up with him and is doing better. We hang out a lot now, and there is lots of flirting, really obvious things, staring into each others eyes. Really light touching, just innocent. So I know its flirting.

 

Does this mean I can make a move? Or is there such a thing as flirting without a connection, just having fun? (Think I got my point accross? ) Thanks.

[DN]

make a move - that is the best way to find out.

[BCBoy81]

Girls will flirt with anything. They think it's harmless.

[Jack_Frost]

Girls will flirt with anything. They think it's harmless.

 

Only some girls are like that. Half of the girls that are like that aren't worth the effort anyway.

[igwmuchas]

Lol, well, arent we right back where we started? I just dont want to make a move and ruin a friendship because I was looking at things the wrong way, thats all. Thanks for your replies, anymore are welcome.

[loveydovey]

I agree with DN. I think the only way you will know if there is a connection is if you make some sort of move...maybe an official date or something? But I will say this--if she is flirting with you then she is definitely at least attracted to you

[Stinkweed]

Hey muchas! Long time no see. How has it been man?

 

Lol, well, about the topic, I think you should go for her... it's most likely a good thing. All signs point to something good in my opinion. Dude, sometimes I think this stuff's so confusing, lol.

 

Man, I have a question of my own too... It's a tad messed up. Well, you see, it's been quite a while since the last girl I was interested in (back in december... nothing happened, though). But well, today something pretty confusing happened. I went to the chili's and there was this waitress who took my order... And I dunno why, but I kept thinking that maybe that was what my type of girl is like... And I used to think I had no type, cause all the girls I've been interested in have been very different... But I dunno what happened. I felt interest and just wanted to talk to her or something. I didn't, and still wouldn't know what to do, though, cause I think she's older than me (maybe a college student...), and I'd need to see her more to talk and try to get to know her. But I couldn't stop thinking about this for a while. I just hope that one day I get to meet someone of that type in a more approachable environment... Peace.

[drydupfob]

Think to yourself which is more important. The friend or the girl? Because you can't have it all. Once you make a move and if she rejects you, than it is always going to be weird.

 

If you want some advice, i'd say just go for it. I mean cmon u can make friends with anyone, why not take a shot? One other thing, don't put urself in this situation next time. Don't be put in the "friends" zone with a girl. You should always be in the protienal zone with even your "friends".

 

One secrete about girls, once you are in the friend zone. It is almost impossible to get out. Very hard.... If you decide to go for it, than pm me i'll give u some more in depth directions on what to do.

 

best of luck to you,

nan

[igwmuchas]

Wow Deadeyes, it has been a while, sounds like your doing better though. Its always tough to find an approachable environment isnt it But I guess thats life. Man, this stuff really is confusing at times lol.

 

drydupfob, Yes I have considered which is more important to me, and I think I would rather go for it, but the only reason I'm thinking that is because of the flirting. We already go on "unofficial dates" asking each other if we wanna hang out lol, then we end up going to dinner or something, so.... I'm not sure about what that means.

 

Do you believe in physical signs to tell if flirting is genuine? Example: if she is attracted to you when you look at her and she looks back her pupils will become dialated, her skin might become flushed, she fiddles with her hands, she speeds or slows her talking to adjust to yours, same with volume. Are those real signs or just BS to give guys like me a little more confidence?

 

But I definantly wanna go for it. Ill PM you later, I have to go now.

Thanks all.

[Lily04]

Those are real signs, although it may or may not mean anything. Figuring out if someone is attracted to you, or if there's a spark/connection is easy. Figuring out if that person wants to be in a relationship is more difficult. Some people (like me) flirt for fun, just because I'm a friendly person... or I'll just strike up conversations with random people I mean. So it's probably hard for guys to tell... depends on the person.

[igwmuchas]

Wow I need some serious help now. OK so this girl is one of my really good friends, and I really like her, and it seems like the flirting is genuine. So I talked to one of her friends for an opinion. Her friend said "I would be careful about how attatched you get, she sees you as one of her best friends" And this is killing me, what do I do?! Do I ignore it and just try to be her friend (Which I doubt I will be able to do) Do I make a move risking it all? Do I confess to her? Do I get away from her (which would hurt her) Please feedback!

[igwmuchas]

Please, anyone?

[Stinkweed]

This is a really hard one... I guess I'd try man... Talk to her about this man. You gotta know first, from her own mouth if anything's possible... if she doesn't think it is, I don't think it'd be best to take such a huge risk... Sorry man, I'm not of much help... The only thing I can think about is talk to her about this. Good luck.

[ShySoul]

Are you comfortable just letting things stay as friends, or would it, as you said "kill you?" Personally I think you have to act on your feelings. If you keep them inside then they will only eat away at you and you'll have the regret of not saying anything. Yes, there is some risk involved. But there will always be risk and you can't let that hold you back from what you really want. If you guys are so close then this won't ruin things beyond repair, even if there is some awkwardness for awhile. On the other hand, think of everything you could be gaining. And the one advantage you have over many of these situations, she does seem to be genuinly flirting with you. So it's not like it's a one sided crush, theres more of a chance she'll say yes.

[igwmuchas]

Thanks for the replies, its given me that last boost of confidence. I'm going to talk to her about it hopefully I will get chance today, if not tom. I should let you guys know what happened in the next couple days for sure though. Thanks.

[whatdoyado]

You sound so familiar. Anyways, making the step from friends to something more can be difficult. And as girls I'll admit we do make things difficult. One day will flirt with a guy and have a total crush on him and the next day we meet another guy and by the end of the week we just stick to flirting with each of the guys. If she is making "eye contact and friendly touching" as you say, well is this normal for her. She is your friend. I think maybe you should ask her to do something or go somewhere with her, and then you can see if you should make the moves. And be careful when asking her friends what to do, that can cause major trouble.

 

Good luck!