Why does he listen now?

[Jetta]

I'm feeling all kinds of unexpected emotions considering I was the one who took the step to end things. He's now listening to the various things that caused the demise of our marriage, which is maddening. Why wouldn't he listen when it was actually happening?

 

It's plainly obvious there is no love between us, so for that reason it does need to end, but I'm still having a hard time. He's now met someone and we discussed marriage counseling (yes after the fact) but he'd rather just move on. Okay that's fine. I'm able to wish him well. I'm just feeling upset that he claimed to love me all this time, but can move on in two days. How does that happen? I know it doesn't matter. I don't really want him anyway. I just want the dream that's dying.

 

I'll get through this. Things are looking up. I know it'll be okay, I just hate being in this state of flux.

[suprema99]

I think that ego's are the main reason sometimes for breakups. I mean how can 2 people at one time love each other, get married, then just lose all the love? Either ego, greed, or who knows how many reasons for a marriage to breakup are. It's upseting to me when people, cause of their selfishness and ego can't communicate with one another. A marriage is supposed to be sacred and it's a shame these days so many end up with divorce. Jetta, without getting involved, it's probably one of those reasons. Goodluck to you.

[newts]

Hang on in there. How people can just move on after 2 days is beyond me. I had this happen to me, we weren't married though and when you are you would expect the bond to be stronger. He may not have the capacity for the depth that you do - and he fell in need more than he fell in love. Sounds like he has a hard time being alone. The worst thing about seperating is being alone, some people can do it and heal and have a new healthy relationship after they have found themselves again and other times people want to rush into the next stage of their life.

 

I know it seem shard at the moment, but things will get better for you.

[DN]

But aren't you already either going out with someone or wanting to; the guy you once described as soul mate? I'm not sure why you want him to wait to go out with someone else when you want to do the same thing?

[suprema99]

I want to add that, I think most guys out there will only marry a girl, if it's serious, and she's the right one. I don't know your your situation, but if this guy took the time to marry you, he must of loved you at one point. Whatever happened after that I don't know?

[brando]

Jetta,

I said it in another post and i will say it again, dont be too sure he has moved on in two days.... sometimes people can easily go through the motions, to stir jealousy or hurt. But it isnt important if he has or hasnt, the important thing is you, and you need to take care of you.

 

Hang in their...

[Jetta]

DN yes that's me which is why I'm so surprised I care. Even my best friend thought he'd hang around hoping I'd return to him. I told her she was full of it, but I thought he'd take more time before moving on. I think it has more to do with the fact I'm losing my support faster than I anticipated. At least we've come to some agreements as far as timelines which helps.

[DN]

Do you mean financial support or the emotional support one expects from a marriage partner?

[Jetta]

The emotional support is what I mean. He came into my life when I needed a shoulder really, and has kind of been in a therapist in my life. Not a good one but it's an usual relationship. It's more like a good friend that I ended up sleeping with because I knew he was safe. I stuck with him because I didn't have strong feelings for him and knew if he were to cheat on me like my 1st did I wouldn't be crushed like I was then. I'm not crushed now, just surprised it happened so fast.

[brando]

Jetta,

It is now time to rely on you... you need to dig deep to find all the strength to carry on, you can do this..