Catharsis: The Return

[From_Now_On]

I used to write on this forum quite often as a teenager. In fact, I made a couple amazing friends here, one of which I still hold dear and am in contact with almost 2 decades later. So, needless to say, this site holds an incredibly special place in my heart. And now..here I am. Almost 20 years later. It feels surreal.

So, why now? Well. For a little over a year I've been in therapy. I've had different therapists off and on since elementary, but I've never had one this long. I see my therapist every week for an hour. In between, though, my therapist allows me the freedom to write emails or texts. I almost never text, because I don't want to blow up his phone and interrupt his life. I do write him emails often, though. Sometimes once or twice a week. Lately, it's been closer to 3 times a week. And, although he says it's fine...I feel guilty. So...I'm looking for a new outlet to help relieve some of the burden I've placed on his inbox. 

I know people will suggest journaling, and trust me, I'm no stranger to that. But there's something much more cathartic about putting your words out where they can be seen. With my emails to my therapist, I tell him "Hey, you know you don't even need to read all of those. I get my therapy just from sending them." But he prefers to read them, which makes me feel like writing him so much is piling homework on his desk. So I've been trying to figure out how to replicate that catharsis in a safe way. Aside from this site, though, I've never felt safe to say anything I'm feeling. Well, until my therapy emails. It's like hitting the "send" button takes this weight off my chest so I can breathe again. Like the words aren't just secrets sitting trapped in a journal I'm my drawer...weighing me down as they sit inside this closed extension of myself. But, instead, they are sent out of me and into space where they aren't stuck inside and eating me alive anymore.

So...after a few weeks of flirting with the concept of coming back here and writing where I feel safe and where I don't feel like I'm burdening anyone or forcing them to read my words....I've decided to come back. 

Prepare for the onslaught of rambling, Enotalone. 

♡Alex

*Names have/will be altered to protect identity. 😉

[Kwothe28]

Welcome back. We have a “Journal” section now that people can read from and answer to you. So you maybe want to use that as an outlet for your thoughts.

[Betterwithout]

Welcome back.  I get the catharsis part.
Stay on the path of journaling, whether in your home or in cyberspace, it's a very beneficial practice.
Don't forget to trust your gut on you feelings too.
Check out the Miracle Morning book by Hal Elrod.  He has an excellent morning practice with the acronym  SAVERS that is worth checking out.

[From_Now_On]

On 3/25/2024 at 6:06 AM, Kwothe28 said:

Welcome back. We have a “Journal” section now that people can read from and answer to you. So you maybe want to use that as an outlet for your thoughts.

Someone else mentioned this also...I'm not sure how to find it?

[From_Now_On]

On 3/25/2024 at 10:15 AM, Betterwithout said:

Welcome back.  I get the catharsis part.
Stay on the path of journaling, whether in your home or in cyberspace, it's a very beneficial practice.
Don't forget to trust your gut on you feelings too.
Check out the Miracle Morning book by Hal Elrod.  He has an excellent morning practice with the acronym  SAVERS that is worth checking out.

Thank you. I will have to look into that. ♡

[Kwothe28]

 

31 minutes ago, From_Now_On said:

Someone else mentioned this also...I'm not sure how to find it?

https://www.enotalone.com/clubs

Try with this. Join the “journal” section and you can write there

[ShySoul]

Welcome back. 

I completely get how you feel. I also made some good friends her nearly 20 years ago and one of them remains very close to me. Posting her helped me through a very tough time, so it's special to me as well. 

I also agree it can be very encouraging and helpful to not just put the words to paper (or screen I guess), but to put it out there to be seen and felt. So please, bring on the onslaught. Ramble on as much as you'd like. Just hope you don't mind if I poke my nose in here and there. 

*And don't worry, you're not the only one living with a secret idenity. I would say more, but in the interest of national security, I must remain silent. 😉