What are my rights as a mother? what should I do?

[Notinreality]

I recently found out my partner of 8 years has been cheating the entire relationship on and off with escorts, girls I don't know, and buying nude photos off of girls , has secret snapchat, only fans, secret face book account to talk to girls./ He doesn't know that I know but has threatened me on multiple occasions if I left that I cant leave with my kids (their little) and he would do bad things to me/family if I ever tried to leave him. He gets mad and scares me then tries to act nice for a few weeks and says that i'm such a good person, too good for him, how hard I work and how much of a good mom I am to the kids, he often jokes about me breaking up with him in the future (Now I know its cus he knows hes been sneaking around) I work full time and he works on and off, he watches the kids while im working and then makes me feel horrible about going to work and having him watch the kids - I have offered daycare he refuses- I offered for him to work and I stay home, he refuses and nicely rewords why he thinks I should be working - but then throws it in my face as often as he can. We have a lot of bills currently to catch up on, and i keep telling myself to stay until I pay off our bills so he's not so financially stressed (I dont know why i feel like this). I would leave him with the house because it would be too hard to ask him to leave and I believe he would harass me knowing where I lived.  With recent confirmation that he's still asking girls to buy nudes or take nudes (someone told me which is even more embarrassing) , I really want to leave but I feel trapped. He makes me feel like he would find me and take my kids away or worse if I ever did leave. I do not have a lot of supports and im too embarassed to talk to anyone I know 

we are not married-no custody order- i guess what i'm asking, is would I legally be able to take my kids- I want to leave but wondering if I can take my kids or not or what happens if he refuses to let me leave with the kids, and police are called, will I be able to leave with them. Has anyone had a similar experience or advice?

[Seraphim]

You need to call a lawyer. Laws are different all over and not everyone here is from the same country. Laws can also be different within the same country. Get an appointment with a family law attorney and don’t tell him. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Notinreality said:

We are not married-no custody order- i guess what i'm asking, is would I legally be able to take my kids- I want to leave but wondering if I can take my kids or not or what happens if he refuses to let me leave with the kids, 

Sorry this is happening. Please contact an attorney regarding custody. 

Especially document the abuse and try to get full custody with only  supervised visitation. It is your place his place or do you rent. Please contact  domestic violence agencies for information support, advice and help extricating yourself and your children from this. Ask about getting a restraining order. 

Please see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and get some tests done especially STD testing. Please be frank about the abuse and your partners sexual habits. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. 

Please be frank with trusted friends and family and enlist their support. 

[Seraphim]

28 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. Please contact an attorney regarding custody. 

Especially document the abuse and try to get full custody with only  supervised visitation. It is your place his place or do you rent. Please contact  domestic violence agencies for information support, advice and help extricating yourself and your children from this. Ask about getting a restraining order. 

Please see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and get some tests done especially STD testing. Please be frank about the abuse and your partners sexual habits. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. 

Please be frank with trusted friends and family and enlist their support. 

All of this !!!

[Kwothe28]

6 hours ago, Notinreality said:

I want to leave but wondering if I can take my kids or not

Depending on a law but you cant just leave with your kids. He can sue you for kidnapping. He is legally allowed as a parent as much as you are. You need a good family attorney to explore the options. Also, you cant just leave at your own either. As that would be count as abandonment of kids. So, probably your best bet is to tell him and start separation. But since he is abusive, that isnt an option. So your next bet is indeed a protective order and police. Its messy but in cases like this its probably the only way. But yes, attorney first.