my ex (34F) and I (38M) met twice and had a discussion. Is she still interested?

[SpecialistOil1529]

Everything was going well between us but it went too fast. We had two intense months and she wanted to introduce me to her family. But we had different vision of life so we had a big argument and I was the one who decided to break the relationship last mid-September

Since September I have gone into radio silence. She continued to follow me on instagram and watches all the stories I post (I mean all of them), sometimes liking some. And this radio silence was broken last November on my birthday, she decided to write to me to wish me a happy birthday. I thanked her . and a few days later, she wrote me again to inform me of a graphic design competition that might interest me. then no news since except for following me on social networks and watching all my stories. For my part, I tried to work on myself to move on but since she contacted me again, I can no longer do it and I realize that there is still something left of this relationship on me ...And it's starting to pollute my daily life.

I saw that she was exhibiting her creations in a room in a small village this month so I decided to go see her and confront her to see if there was anything left.

And what I experienced disturbed me... When she saw me, she was happy! She told me several times that it made her so happy that I came to see her, she took out her thermos and offered me a hot drink, we sat on the sofa in the room and we talked for almost an hour and a half where she asked me lots of questions about what I was becoming, my recent trips posted on Instagram, etc. And she jokes and makes fun of me like old time. She laughs a lot at my jokes and we talk about art and creation as if we hadn't seen each other for just two weeks. I said that I would come back another time to buy a creation by another artist who also exhibits in the room but that I would not have time on the weekend, she told me that I just have to contact her during the week and she would free herself to have a drink and bring the object with her. when we said goodbye we did a hug that lasted several seconds...

I didn't text her but few days later I invited her for a drink, a last minute plan and she accepted.
We started with a good conversation about her artistic projects and she offered to help in my artistic project because according to her I deserve to succeed.
We talked about a lot of things, we laughed a lot, then I brought up the subject of the breakup. She wasn't really expecting it and thought we were just going to laugh about everything and nothing. She started to cry (she cries easily) and told me that she suffered a lot, that she felt like abandoned but that she learned to live with this breakup. Also, she said that she is very happy that I contacted her because it means I changed a lot. And she didn't stop crying.

then she told me: I need to think about everything we just discussed this evening. on what I want or not. if I want to start something again with you. It will take a lot of time. In any case, I really appreciate that you made the decision to question yourself and contact me, it means a lot to me. I told her: It's Christmas time, prioritize your time with your family, enjoy your days with them and when you'll be back we can think about that again.

I don't understand why but she added that she sometime look again some pictures we took together because it was the funniest pics she ever took for a very long time..
I walked her to her car, we hugged each other. She started to cry one last time in my arms, and she kissed me on my neck and then we said goodbye.
When I returned home, she texted to me to find out if I had returned safely.

We didn't text each other since.
What’s your thought please?

[Wiseman2]

12 minutes ago, SpecialistOil1529 said:

 We had two intense months and she wanted to introduce me to her family. But we had different vision of life so we had a big argument and I was the one who decided to break the relationship last mid September 

What was the reason you broke up with her?  Has that been resolved?  Is she interested in reconciling or just being friends?

[Batya33]

47 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

What was the reason you broke up with her?  Has that been resolved?  Is she interested in reconciling or just being friends?

Yes -this -seems very soon -what really has changed?  I married my ex-fiancee by the way - 11 years after our first cancelled wedding.  It was too soon to reconcile after only a few months for sure.

[SpecialistOil1529]

6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

What was the reason you broke up with her?  Has that been resolved?

We had a conversation about family and we disagree on having kids. She told me she doesn't want kids because of global warming.

After we broke up she said, she is just unsure if she wants kids because she is financially and emotionally not stable.

I can't say it has been resolved because we just met ...

 

5 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Is she interested in reconciling or just being friends?

I wrote in my message:

then she told me: I need to think about everything we just discussed this evening. on what I want or not. if I want to start something again with you. It will take a lot of time. In any case, I really appreciate that you made the decision to question yourself and contact me, it means a lot to me. I told her: It's Christmas time, prioritize your time with your family, enjoy your days with them and when you'll be back we can think about that again.

 

And that's the reason why I created this topic.

[SpecialistOil1529]

5 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Yes -this -seems very soon -what really has changed?

two months and half is very soon? (just asking)
And I don't understand the question.

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, SpecialistOil1529 said:

two months and half is very soon? (just asking)
And I don't understand the question.

I'm sorry! What has changed such that you will be able to make a go of it this time - it's only been a few months. And you only dated for a few months.

Wiseman asked the question about friendship - not me.

To me if you really want kids she is not the right person for you.  I did and I only dated men who were 100% sure they wanted to have a child.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, SpecialistOil1529 said:

: I need to think about everything we just discussed this evening. on what I want or not. if I want to start something again with you. It will take a lot of time. 

It seems like you hurt her deeply and although she is being friendly, she's wise to protect herself. She's not making any promises because she needs to process things.

[SooSad33]

7 hours ago, SpecialistOil1529 said:

We had a conversation about family and we disagree on having kids. She told me she doesn't want kids because of global warming.

After we broke up she said, she is just unsure if she wants kids because she is financially and emotionally not stable.

I can't say it has been resolved because we just met ...

 

Then things will remain the same.  No changes, no hope, imo.

I suggest you do not get involved again.  You already know what to expect.

Be strong and expect nothing... but, move on with your life.. and maybe ask her to STOP reaching out, out of respect? - As I feel, this is what's holding you back 😕 .