Emotional / bonNeglect. I'm about to call it quits. What is going on? your take?

[Quebecer1974]

 

Today I write because again she is behind in school. She promised this semester would be different. Yesterday was a day we would be together and reconnect after 3 big fights. We fought 3 times last week and I told her I need us to get close. In reality I am feeling distant and neglected and alone. She also mentions breaking up when I push my boundries ( keeping apt  clean, making time for us). She said this week she had a lot with school but she would be organized.  She bought my birthday gift 20 days after my birthday and  wrapped it before I got home. I get home I see the big box and she kisses me quickly and runs to the room for something she needs to finish asap. I wait 30m and she is done she says.  No problem i think. It's 8:30pm. We open my gift; expensive $500!  Ok I'm happy but a bit surprised she spent so much money and waited 3 weeks. She had an entrée which I ended up preparing. And she tells me the fun plan of the night. She says we will have the entrée, have sex, eat if we are still hungry... and she goes to the room to check an email and now tells me she has to do some new thing now ...she asks me, can we begin at 10pm?; I say ok fine but are you sure you will be free? "Yes I promise". I wait and 10pm and she arrives...with a worried and stressed face and talking like a sad baby which she does a lot ( like a baby voice)..I'm so behind I'm stressed...can we have our time tommorow; baby understand. I told her my disappointment and she started defending herself that she told me this week was busy. I told her I thought we were celebrating my birthday and I felt neglected.  Well she ended up studying and never made it up for me. I am sexually frustrated too now...but more worried about the neglect.

She came back from a trip back home 3 weeks ago. Worked 6 nights and I can't understand  why she is so behind. She was even supposed to study a little from her home country.

I'm just so disappointed with her as a whole.  I'm not sure it's narcissism she has or bpd but I'm sure there is something. 

[Jaunty]

Why does it have to be a diagnosis?  She's definitely disorganized.

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, Quebecer1974 said:

 I'm not sure it's narcissism she has or bpd but I'm sure there is something. I can't take this lack of connection and consideration anymore. 

You both  tried making it work, but you seem miserable and completely incompatible. Give her adequate notice to move out of your house. 

[shouldhavelearned]

Priorities and time management 

[Deadtoyouforever74]

Maybe she feels neglected as well she also feeds off your energy.  Narcissistic I don't know?

Sounds like she's too busy to be a  Narcissistic type of person.  She may feel unloved and unappreciated by you.  Women need to be cuddle not groped. Hugged not bear Hugged.  Kissed not tongues jammed down our throat.  Four play is more than rubbing our clits, 😆 🤣  or shoving your finger up the starfish...lol.

Try working on your technique and she's going to come around.  I'm sure of it.

Good luck. 

 

[smackie9]

A narcissist wouldn't be trying to butter you up with an expensive gift.   

[Deadtoyouforever74]

Narcissistic people only care for themselves not others.

They don't feel your pain only theirs. They see you hurting and they laugh. 

[Andrina]

You've tried communication and that hasn't worked. When you're upset more often than satisfied, you're in the wrong relationship.