Help! My grandson is being bullied at school

[Batya33]

18 minutes ago, Kathryn657xx said:

Please go into that school and address the bully directly - kid or not. I had a similar issue with my daughter, a boy at school calling her fat. I confronted him in a very nice manner and asked him why he keeps saying it and told him that if he said it one more time i would tell his mum and he would be in serious trouble. He was 8 years old at the time, i was in no way aggressive or scary - it was a very matter-of-fact approach. He has never verbally abused her again.

In many schools that would be a big NO for security and safety reasons and could make the situatin much much worse.  For one example my son was bullied on the school bus more than once.  Parents were not allowed on the bus ever and those parents who broke that rule faced harsh consequences. I would not send my son to a school where a parent could confront a bully in how you described.  

[Kathryn657xx]

21 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

In many schools that would be a big NO for security and safety reasons and could make the situatin much much worse.  For one example my son was bullied on the school bus more than once.  Parents were not allowed on the bus ever and those parents who broke that rule faced harsh consequences. I would not send my son to a school where a parent could confront a bully in how you described.  

If my child was a bully i would have no issue with a parent addressing this in a calm and mature way. You can't just let it lie or put your faith in institutions to deal with - they don't care i'm afraid, it's just more paperwork and hassle for them to deal with. Go directly to the parents if you have to. I don't know how you can sit on this and not take immediate action. I am not confrontational in the slightest but i would be paying the parents a visit as well as the bully. This bu**sh** about security and safety is only a relatively new concept in our new "over-sensitive' world which is why our kids now can't deal with real life and end up taking medication and ultimately ending their own lives. It's devastating.

[Seraphim]

I think it is fine to go to the parents but, leave the child out of it . 

[boltnrun]

Yeah, I would have a big problem with some other parent approaching my child and "talking to" him or her. Big problem.

The parents talking to me, yes. Definitely. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

I think it is fine to go to the parents but, leave the child out of it . 

It can be outside of school grounds and if done appropriately.  I did when my son was bullied by two boys on the bus. One of the moms was at our bus stop.  Her son was egged on by the bully - but he still threw and broke my son's glasses.  And yes I took her up on her offer to compensate us plus she told me the consequences for her son.  

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Yeah, I would have a big problem with some other parent approaching my child and "talking to" him or her. Big problem.

The parents talking to me, yes. Definitely. 

I've only approached a child -like on the playground -if I see no parent/caregiver and in an urgent situation. So I've said "no hitting" or "that is my son's toy car".  What I usually did was address my son quietly "stay away from that boy".  One time I did that because the boys were running around with sharp pointed sticks on the slide.  The mom then found me on a park bench and asked why I told my son to avoid her kids.  I said "sticks can put eyes out."  She said "I like my kids to play with natural things." I said that's great and sticks can put eyes out."  I made sure not to refer to her kids at all. Just the weapons she gave them.  LOL.  It takes some strategizing to keep the peace.

[tattoobunnie]

Leaving this right here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/hair-pulling-brawls-a-dead-horse-cheerleader-sues-smithtown-school-over-bullying

DASA is Dignity for All Students Act (The Dignity Act) seeks to provide the State’s public elementary and secondary school students with a safe and supportive environment free from discrimination, intimidation, taunting, harassment, and bullying on school property, a school bus and/or at a school function.  

I'm not 100% if you have this by you; we do in New York State.

If you do, file a report. File a report with the police if you do not.  If it doesn't stop, and your administration are chickens, don't let it go.