where to find someone to marry

[love_junkie]

ok...

i am kinda getting a little lonely. in fact, i think i've been lonely since i was 20 for someone, so i had perpetual relationships. well i don't anymore and haven't in many years, but my heart is calling. i want to be with someone. i want to get married. it seems illusive. i don't want just anyone, but really i'm 27 years old and i don't wanna wait anymore! i want love soooooooooo bad and i want a real stable committed relationship. where will i meet a good guy and please don't say the internet! this is driving me nuts. my uncle and i were in a store the other day and he pointed at this sign and said 'hey that's you....' the sign said,

'i forgot to get married and have kids'...the thing is---i've wanted those things really bad but they escape me. i am so sad and just feel terrible about myself. help?

[newts]

Searching for love, marriage and children is probably when you are never going to find it. Love just comes to those who wait for a special somebody. Yes, it is lonely at times, however, maybe you should start new hobbies, travel overseas, do things for you experience things in life and when you are least expecting it, it will fall into your lap.

 

Men can sense when a woman wants more than what he is prepared to give in the intial stages of a relationship, so take things slowly, be confident and happy with who you are and not what you would like or want from somebody else.

[freedom]

loneliess does get to us ppls that fall into this age group. Some women for that they feel librated when they hit 29 i dont know... but it is true that men can smell when a woman want commitment on the intial stages of a relationship. Take it easy, i guess you are already filtering your friends and acquaintances to check for someone special huh?

The only advice i can give you is to keep your options opened and not rush in and filter too much coz that specail person will come.

Good luck

[chai714]

You're too busy focusing on YOUR wants. Instead, become interested in someone else's life. You do this by asking questions about them, and genuinly becoming interested. A good book for you to read would be "How To Win Friend and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

 

Also, get involved. This means that whenever there is some kind of charity, cancer walk, volunteer opportunity, just anything - get out there. The more exposure you have to people, the more likely you are to meet someone you like. You can't just want to get married one day and find someone the next day, week, or even month. It's good you have a goal of getting married one day, but you must go through the steps of building a solid relationship. Remember, all healthy relationships are built on a strong friendship. Establish that first, and the rest will fall in place.

[Hope75]

I'm just curious why you have ruled out the internet?

 

I met my bf on the net and I know two married couples who met on the net. It's 2005 and it's not so taboo anymore and in these busy lives that we lead I think it's a great way to meet people and rule out those you are not attracted to and really search for the right person for you.

[Ydas]

It might not work out trying to find "someone to marry." You can't make dating into a job interview for a partner. Just try to find someone you like being around, the rest should handle itself. Be friendly and approachable around guys you like.

[ReadyorNot]

I think this topic is really funny.... (I am not making fun, I have a reason)

 

I have been with my bf for 5 years. He asked me to marry him after two months and gave me a ring but I said it was too soon and have wore the ring as a promise ring since. Anyway, He knows I want to get married, he does as well but not in such a rush as myself.

He said if he gets into the Canadian Forces we can get married in less than two years. He got in (found out on Friday)... so he asked me to come for his year of training after bootcamp and said we can get married next summer, or if I wanted to get married in Florida (i kinda want to) then in two summers we can get married (he cant take next summer off to go away).

 

Anyway, I am getting nervous that I wont be able to go with him to his training because we arent officially married yet so I was bugging him and he got all nasty and said he wasnt getting married before he leaves (august 29th). At first he said he wanted to have a nice wedding, not somehting thrown together in a few months.. then he said he didnt want to be forced into marrying me so soon, but in a year was fine..

 

So my whole point here is, as he left tonight I said "I guess I will go on the internet to find someone to marry"... kidding totally.. and he laughed...

[eddie500]

where will i meet a good guy and please don't say the internet!

 

I agree with you that when using the interent you are getting what they call in Economics "adverse selection".

 

This means that most confident cool guys that woman usually lust after, simply do not need the internet to find a significant other.

Personally I choose not to use the internet.. becuase I can simply go out and speak with a bunch of woman and choose the best woman that fits me. I don't want to compete with 50 other guys over the interent for a woman.. And I think that most un-shy, confident woman simply choose to not use the internet, they don't need to bascially.. And I only look for un-shy confident woman.

 

Of course this is my opinion and does not hold true 100% of the time.

But maybe love_junkie can elaborate a bit on why she doesn't want to use the internet.

 

 

 

Your other question, where could you meet a guy to marry?

I don't really agree with everyone here that you just have to sit back, do nothing, and then only will you meet the love of your life.

I went searching for love in the last 6 months and actually found 2 girls that I fell in love with...

 

The reason I met these 2 girls.. is becuase I decided to become active last January.. I met many girls and only picked the girls that I hit it off with...

 

So what I recommend you do is just get out in public more.. I mean do anything that will get you in contact and speaking with other men. Make sure you talk to many different men and learn to be choosy with guys that you can see yourself having a lifetime committment with.

[Hope75]

This means that most confident cool guys that woman usually lust after, simply do not need the internet to find a significant other.

Personally I choose not to use the internet.. becuase I can simply go out and speak with a bunch of woman and choose the best woman that fits me. I don't want to compete with 50 other guys over the interent for a woman.. And I think that most un-shy, confident woman simply choose to not use the internet, they don't need to bascially.. And I only look for un-shy confident woman.

 

I do have to disgree with you on this, and I realize that you have said that it is not 100%, but just to clarify specifically about me:

 

I am a very confident, intelligent, attractive woman, (5'10", slim build, blonde hair, blue eyes etc) and I used the internet precisely because I am an intelligent woman who knows that in 2005 (well at the time 2002) my life was so chaotic that I didn't have the time or inclination to pick up a guy in a bar or wait for one to pick me up. I had already been that route, and wanted to try something new. It wasn't and isn't about "needing" the internet, you speak of it as though it is a desperate last ditch effort. I chose the internet, because it was convenient and fun!

 

I knew there were alot of people on the internet also interested in finding someone. While of course there are risks that some will lie and present themselves falsly, I knew that there was just as good a chance that there were other people on there like me, people who weren't out to trick or hurt anybody, but were in fact, attractive, interesting and fun. Know what? There were lots! In addition, you have just as much risk meeting someone who will lie to you and present falsly at the movies, a bar, a concert, anywhere.

 

My bf, who is also quite attractive, very intelligent, confident and hilariously funny, also felt the same way.

 

Lucky for us!

 

I think you rule out a huge portion of the dating pool when you rule out meeting someone on the net.... but that's just my opinion.