TheLambOfDeth Posted August 1, 2023 Share Posted August 1, 2023 Idk how everyone else is able to just get dates so easily. Granted I'm too ugly to use OLD, I'm 30 and I'm socially anxious, so it greatly limits my options, but I've tried to compensate. I run 3x a week, I'm 6'3, I dress well, I make decent money, and I don't have high standards. I prefer weird, alt women, and I naturally like weird-looking women, so my standards aren't asymmetrical or something. What am I doing wrong? I'm not grotesquely ugly...I'm not out of shape or unemployed yet I might as well be a destitute leper considering I have literally zero dating prospects. So I’ve seen so many posts about how women are tired of their bfs because he either doesn’t work, help around the house, or is just generally overall a net negative. I’ve seen posts about how they’re all useless and add little value to the relationship. What I don't understand is how can I not get a single date, yet these men not only get gfs, but they manage to stay with them?? Like are they all 100/10 ig models or unbridled beacons of charisma?? Do all these men have insane personalities that make women fall madly in love with them? What tf am I doing so wrong to the point I can't even get a date... In my case, most of my interests are artistic like museums, art shows, concerts, poetry, film, festivals, fashion, etc and those are fewer places you go to meet women vs you take women on a date. Any suggestions on how and where I could meet women? Or just what I'm clearly doing very, very, very wrong?? Link to comment
Jaunty Posted August 1, 2023 Share Posted August 1, 2023 I believe that you have had a ton of suggestions on this topic, and you shoot down every one of them. Perhaps revisit some of your past threads? 1 2 Link to comment
Kwothe28 Posted August 1, 2023 Share Posted August 1, 2023 Hey, its DeathLamb. Did you had contact with the girl from previous thread after she didnt respond? What happened with that case? Anyway, lots of people compromise a lot when it comes to a relationship just to be in one. They lower their standards and even compromise on stuff where they shouldnt. You can even see it on some Forum threads. So you looking at others as some "relationship goal" isnt really the best option. Other thing is that you assume that you need to be "X" to even have a relationship. Sure, not being very pretty is disadvantage, and some other stuff like height, how you dress, even money in some cases, is an advantage. But that doesnt mean anything in some cases. You still have to try a lot. To meet X number of people, to maybe click with some of them, to go on dates and maybe get a relationship. And then it comes to holding a relationship which is a completely other thing. How many potential women(meaning single ladies) did you met in the last couple of months? You met the one from other thread by volunteering I think. But how many others did you met through going out, volunteering, even stuff like work etc? Some get lucky and meet their significant other right away. But for most others dating is an excrutiating work. Practically a second job. So yes, you would need to put way more effort into meeting potential dates and then into dating itself. 1 Link to comment
lisa_pw Posted August 1, 2023 Share Posted August 1, 2023 It's never about the quality of the men. It's about the opportunities those men have. If you put yourself out there enough you will meet people and their friends and their friends' friends etc and eventually you will find someone. Link to comment
TheLambOfDeth Posted August 1, 2023 Author Share Posted August 1, 2023 26 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said: Hey, its DeathLamb. Did you had contact with the girl from previous thread after she didnt respond? What happened with that case? Anyway, lots of people compromise a lot when it comes to a relationship just to be in one. They lower their standards and even compromise on stuff where they shouldnt. You can even see it on some Forum threads. So you looking at others as some "relationship goal" isnt really the best option. Other thing is that you assume that you need to be "X" to even have a relationship. Sure, not being very pretty is disadvantage, and some other stuff like height, how you dress, even money in some cases, is an advantage. But that doesnt mean anything in some cases. You still have to try a lot. To meet X number of people, to maybe click with some of them, to go on dates and maybe get a relationship. And then it comes to holding a relationship which is a completely other thing. How many potential women(meaning single ladies) did you met in the last couple of months? You met the one from other thread by volunteering I think. But how many others did you met through going out, volunteering, even stuff like work etc? Some get lucky and meet their significant other right away. But for most others dating is an excrutiating work. Practically a second job. So yes, you would need to put way more effort into meeting potential dates and then into dating itself. So she def likes me to some extent....but she's...weird. We hung out like a month ago at one of her events and she just keep teasing me and laughing for no reason. She introduced me to more of her friends and just kept teasing and giggling at me. And a bit of light flirting. I left early bc all her friends were women and there was a lot of them. A few weeks went by and I reached out and she said "You've been on my mind" and she invited me one of her openings that night. I didn't go bc it was short notice and I had to reach out. She said we should catch up soon and invited me to another one of her events on Thursday. After the event we hung out with the gallery's director and her bf and this is where I could tell she was interested. We hung around each other the entire time, she asked me a bunch of questions, kept saying "you get me so well" and we just really talked a lot and had a lot in common. A lot of teasing and more flirting. At one point one lady said something about someone taking her home and she said "I wish someone would take me home" and then she looked at me. After that we went to a bar close by and had drinks and and more flirting. At one point she said she couldn't be held responsible if she took advantage of me or something. The she started texting her friends and kept looking at me but idk what she said bc I was talking to the bartender. She out of nowhere she just left. After she was in her uber she texted "sorry, but the only way I can exercise boundaries is to bail hard and fast"..... Ok so during all this she invited me to a friend's warehouse part that nxt Saturday. And this is why she irks me so. Throughout the whole week she didn't text at all. I texted her early in the week in regards to a convo we had on Thursday about a movie that was an inside joke and she just said "lol". So on Friday I ask if she was still going to that party and she said "I intend so"...I even had to ask for the address since she didn't give it to me. Soooo I didn't go. "I intend to" sounds like code for "No". It's like this woman is literally two different people. Irl she's warm and engaging and clearly into me, yet via text she's curt af and almost seems annoyed. And she never reaches out first. She literally waits until I text her, then will invite me to something the same day, instead of just texting first. Those tendencies trigger my anxiety and make me feel like I'm bothering her. We haven't spoke since I asked for the address on Friday. Anyway...how come women never compromise or lower their standards for me lol. Literally never. I'm never the guy any of them even consider giving a shot to. Like I'm not dumb out of shape or jobless. It's just boggling that so many women get with guys who are seemingly deadbeat, STAY with them, yet I can't find one to just give me a shot. Like just a literal chance. And I haven't met any other women. Not a single one. I thought I had a chance with this profile on tinder I matched...but it was a bot *sadface*. I meet no women volunteering and work isn't an option. Or OLD obviously.. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 1, 2023 Share Posted August 1, 2023 1 minute ago, lisa_pw said: It's never about the quality of the men. It's about the opportunities those men have. If you put yourself out there enough you will meet people and their friends and their friends' friends etc and eventually you will find someone. I think it’s both. Also men of character and integrity tend to have and make friends who are similar. And their friends are more likely to be quality people. To me it was only in part a numbers game. The numbers part was me being willing to talk to people at singles events , networking events , work , volunteer work. For example I’d go to a singles event alone. Tell myself I could leave after let’s say 45 minutes as long as I spoke to at least 3 new people. Link to comment
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