What would you do?

[RainbowButterfly]

Is it reasonable to break up with someone because then have no desire to be sexually intimate with you?
 

They have a erectile dysfunction and herpes which they have previously disclosed (although herpes was only disclosed within the last week after discussion about why things have stalled sexually in the relationship) however they have not shown any interest in wanting to be sexually intimate for the last 5 months however have proceeded to take their ED medication to engage in watching pornography.
 

They claim that they do want to be intimate with me but have been apprehensive due to the medical conditions however have not made any attempt to be intimate in ways other than penetration.

Apart from the lacking sexual aspect of the relationship everything else is great. However I do have trust issues now after he did not tell me about the herpes until recently. But I can understand why. It’s not the herpes that bothers me it’s more so the fact that he has kept it from me. It makes me wonder what else is going on. 
 

I am here and willing yet we don’t have sex. But he is happy to take his medication and watch porn when I’m not around. What gives? 

[Batya33]

You posted about this. Some people would be totally fine with it. People can be sexual and intimate without intercourse. You don’t envision that for yourself and you wouldn’t feel happy or fulfilled. Focus on you and your standards. Not on some general standard. 
To me without basic trust there’s no point in being in a romantic relationship with that person. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, RainbowButterfly said:

 have not shown any interest in wanting to be sexually intimate for the last 5 months 

How long have you been dating?  Does he have other medical problems besides ED? How old is he?

How was the sex previously? What happened 5 mos ago in his life or in the relationship? 

 Porn is less physically strenuous than sex. 

Please see a physician and get some tests done. Especially STD testing. 

It seems like you're more concerned about if the attraction is waning than the fact that he obscured the fact that he has herpes.

[smackie9]

What gives? Only he can answer that. Have a conversation with him about it. If it doesn't go well or it changes nothing then you end it. 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, RainbowButterfly said:

 have not shown any interest in wanting to be sexually intimate for the last 5 months . But he is happy to take his medication and watch porn when I’m not around. 

Your previous post on this situation states that his doctor told him he's at high risk for a heart attack because of test results and medication 5 mos ago. 

But you are making this about you and your level of attractiveness and porn.

If the relationship is unsatisfying you may have to end it. He obviously is terrified of dropping dead during sex. Just set each other free.

[MissCanuck]

5 hours ago, RainbowButterfly said:

herpes was only disclosed within the last week

This would be a drop-dead dealbreaker for me. 

Not because of herpes in and of itself, but withholding information that could affect my health. I would not be able to trust this person ever again. 

 

[shouldhavelearned]

Move on