RainbowButterfly

Is it reasonable to break up with someone because then have no desire to be sexually intimate with you? They have a erectile dysfunction and herpes which they have previously disclosed (although herpes was only disclosed within the last week after discussion about why things have stalled sexually in the relationship) however they have not shown any interest in wanting to be sexually intimate for the last 5 months however have proceeded to take their ED medication to engage in watching pornography. They claim that they do want to be intimate with me but have been apprehensive due to the medical conditions however have not made any attempt to be intimate in ways other than penetration. Apart from the lacking sexual aspect of the relationship everything else is great. However I do have trust issues now after he did not tell me about the herpes until recently. But I can understand why. It’s not the herpes that bothers me it’s more so the fact that he has kept it from me. It makes me wonder what else is going on. I am here and willing yet we don’t have sex. But he is happy to take his medication and watch porn when I’m not around. What gives?

Thank you. He is 41. Sex is an important part of a relationship to me. It’s not the be all and end all but I feel it needs to exist to work. Otherwise I would just consider it to be a friendship. I struggle to communicate my feelings about this to him. I don’t want to jeopardise anything but maybe by bringing it up it will give me an answer about whether it can work long term or if it’s time to call it quits 🤷‍♀️

Hi this is my first post. My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 months. At the very beginning of the relationship he was upfront and disclosed that he has ED (the result of a bike accident when he was a teenager) and needs medication to get things going. Our sex life, whilst infrequent, was still good. About 4 months ago he had a blood test which revealed he has very high cholesterol. He has been working hard to change his diet and lifestyle (he was a smoker at the time) to get his cholesterol down and avoid needing to go on medication. We have not have sex in 4 months. We haven’t really spoken about it in detail but he tells me that he can’t get a prescription for his ED medication whilst his cholesterol is so high as he is at risk of a heart attack. I fully accept this and of course support him in doing what he’s doing. What bothers me is that I have found some ED medication in his medicine bag with a couple of tablets missing. I also saw on his phone (I wasn’t snooping, he let me use his phone and I happened to see his search) that he has searched for porn. I understand everyone looks at porn. That’s not the problem. By why is that ok but he can’t have sex with me?! Sorry for the long rant