What’s next?

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, Whirling D said:

But then I fail to believe in that inner voice when I hear lots and lots of people on here telling me that it’s cringe worthy to keep looking for validation like that. 

Once again you misinterpreted what I said and interjected your own spin which had very little to do with what I posted. 

I never said it was cringeworthy to ask.  In fact in a subsequent post, I suggested you ask and discuss when things trouble you as long as it's done respectfully. 

It was the way you worded your question that sounded cringeworthy imo.  I posted that. 

As my late mum used to say, it's not what you say but how you say it.

Imo the way in which you asked sounded condescending as if you were a parent asking their child. Again jmo.

It's not cringeworthy to discuss things with your partner and ask questions.  So long as it doesn't become burdensome.

I encourage that fwiw.

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

My sense of things and again obviously this is just from reading what you write is that she is backing off. Even if I totally signed on to “honeymoon stage “ (which I don’t totally at all) her actions and reactions are to me consistent with backing off. Why I don’t know. I’m not presuming there’s another guy or that it’s this or that. This sort of time - couple months in - is I find when many people fish or cut bait.  Not because of honeymoon.  Just because.  
No games - I’d give her twice the space she seems to need. Your default in this dance of intimacy should be space not needy questions or clingy behavior. Be patient. Be giving - giving to her of space.  Not for a game. Let her be - and let her come to you and then you’ll take it from there.  
 

I am reposting this from @Batya33as it's really the best advice and all you can do Whirling.

I'd love it if you kept us posted but if you need a break, I understand that too. 

Be well.

 

[bluecastle]

I was going to say something similar to rainbow. 

Whether you're aware of it or not—or whether it's just that the way you phrase things while in voice dictation differs drastically from when you speak to a person—you have a tendency to couch what you're actually trying to say or ask in language that makes presumptions about other people and their feelings. 

If you want to address how you are feeling right now, go for it. 

That said, I personally subscribe to Batya's recommendation on some patience. Not easy, I know, but this is where you have to kind of lean into the hard facts (that this is very new) rather than the emoji facts (that made it all feel set in stone).  

 

[Whirling D]

Well, maybe it’s a translation thing from print to word.  I have a pretty soft and engaging Voice, and although I may use what seems like more formal phrasing, the doctor lady has always responded very positively when I use that language in the way that I do. To others, maybe it’s cringe worthy. I wasn’t saying that rainbow suggested that, but others have.
 

Yes, I am being patient now, and I have been for about the last 4 or 5 days, but it almost feels a little disingenuous.  If I suspect something might be on her mind, it almost seems like the right thing to do to ask her if she has anything on her mind. But that comes with a risk.
 

If she doesn’t have anything on her mind, then it would appear meddling and needy for me to bring that up. I don’t think she would interpret it that way, but it’s possible. On the other hand, not bringing it up, could give the indication that I don’t care that there’s been this fairly big shift in how we interact on a day-to-day basis.

It’s a bit of a conundrum. In terms of when I do talk to her, things seem fine, sort of. It’s when I’m not talking with her that things have changed fairly significantly. Well, I might have to take that back, couple of weeks ago at this time we were pretty much begging to find out when we would see each other next, and constantly strategizing. None of that right now, which could be completely normal, considering that we spent almost all of the Fourth of July week together, and then the following weekend this past weekend. That’s a fair amount of time in a stretch, and we knew I was going to have my kid this weekend, which was going to mess that Continuity up.

I have always said to her, that I would be up there in a flash, even on a work night, which would prevent us from having to go that length of time without seeing each other. She doesn’t seem to wanna do that, even though I spent a work night there last weekend from Sunday into Monday, and it was great. She stayed up later on her own, and I didn’t encourage her to do that, and I tried to stay completely out of her way in the morning, and it was really sweet. We ended up talking all the way home in both of our cars, and she sent me a text just a little while after that  telling me she already missed me.  That was after our difficult talks, and spending a lot of time together over a few weeks. But lately, dry as a bone.

So, I don’t really know what to think, and I think the only choice that I have is patience, and that has its own risks.

[rainbowsandroses]

9 minutes ago, Whirling D said:

I have a pretty soft and engaging Voice, and although I may use what seems like more formal phrasing, the doctor lady has always responded very positively when I use that language in the way that I do.

Right.  But yet at only 10-11 weeks in, she appears to be backing off and fading out.

So perhaps she wasn't/isn't as okay with it as you thought.

Just something to consider. 

 

[Batya33]

I'd be on board with asking her if you thought she was feeling poorly.  But you'd be asking her for you -for reassurance.

Watch the feet not the lips -she's backing off - from talking and from making plans to see you next.  If you're going to ask her anything ask her for a date.  Then you'll know the relevant information and it won't come across as needy or self-absorbed as long as you genuinely want to spend time with her. But I'd back off and not ask that for at least a couple of days.

[Whirling D]

8 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I'd be on board with asking her if you thought she was feeling poorly.  But you'd be asking her for you -for reassurance.

Watch the feet not the lips -she's backing off - from talking and from making plans to see you next.  If you're going to ask her anything ask her for a date.  Then you'll know the relevant information and it won't come across as needy or self-absorbed as long as you genuinely want to spend time with her. But I'd back off and not ask that for at least a couple of days.

Well, I have a little bit of hope that she it’s just a natural ebb and flow due to timing and Schedules… But that doesn’t explain everything. I may just be seeing who she really is, and not as much the fantasy she was presenting earlier. Could be that we were just both really psyched, and that’s tapering off into routines. Hard to say. I wasn’t getting the impression she was upset about anything, she seemed like she was OK and not really distracted by anything. She’s not always easy to read her like that, though.  
 

I will try to wait and watch patiently, I think. We will see.

[rainbowsandroses]

Whirling, I read an interesting article awhile back that stated sometimes when relationships start off with a bang (like yours), the same qualities we at first found endearing start to repulse us.

This happened to me with a man I was in a LTR with who I nearly worshipped.  After the blinders came off, the same qualities I nearly worshipped repulsed me and I ended the relationship.

Relationships can sometimes be complicated.  I do believe in the early stages, there sometimes can be a bit of "pretending" happening even if one or both are not consciously aware they're pretending.

About the 3-month mark is when reality starts to hit and we begin seeing things more clearly and realistically.

Sadly the result is that we realize this person isn't the right fit for us after all.

I am not saying that is definitely what's happening here, but be aware it happens, it's not uncommon.

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, Whirling D said:

Well, I have a little bit of hope that she it’s just a natural ebb and flow due to timing and Schedules… But that doesn’t explain everything. I may just be seeing who she really is, and not as much the fantasy she was presenting earlier. Could be that we were just both really psyched, and that’s tapering off into routines. Hard to say. I wasn’t getting the impression she was upset about anything, she seemed like she was OK and not really distracted by anything. She’s not always easy to read her like that, though.  
 

I will try to wait and watch patiently, I think. We will see.

She's not necessarily upset.  Perhaps she simply isn't that interested right now in pursuing this for whatever reason.  If it had to do with logistics and she was excited about this developing relationship she'd absolutely want you to know that -why would she risk tapering off with no explanation? You two talk constantly so how hard it is to say "I cannot wait to see you and between [beach house/vacation/getting ready for vacay] I don't see it happening this weekend. How about we plan on a week from [] and we can figure out later in the week the details?"

[MrMan1983]

Reality is you're still in contact every day, things sound positive when you do actually speak and as Batya mentioned your best bet is to give it a day or two then confidently suggest a good meet up idea and see how it plays out.

If she hesitates and is vague/avoidant then that tells you something more important than evaluating emojis and having to talk every morning, at that point it might be a time to ask what's on her mind or if something is the matter. If she's keen/enthusiastic still and organises something with you then it's best to assume things are currently fine and she's just slowing her roll a bit or maybe getting 'slightly' turned off by behaviour that you both overlooked in the initial excitement period.

It doesn't surprise me that some of the over the top lovey dovey stuff has worn off a bit though once real life sets in again.

Hopefully everything's fine though Whirling and she's enthusiastic about another date 👍

[bluecastle]

1 hour ago, Whirling D said:

Yes, I am being patient now, and I have been for about the last 4 or 5 days, but it almost feels a little disingenuous.  If I suspect something might be on her mind, it almost seems like the right thing to do to ask her if she has anything on her mind.

Toting out the old drum, giving it a few more beats...

Forget her mind. It's a black hole, always, as all minds are that are not ours. You have something on your mind. You can clearly see what that is, because you have access to your mind. Now, if you want to share that with her, you can. Or you can choose to be patient. What is disingenuous is asking "Hey, is something on your mind?" when in fact what you are saying is, "There is something on my mind that I am scared to bring up." 

This applies not just to this situation, but to any between adults. 

Like MrMan, I'm not surprised that the lovey dovey stuff has become more diluted. Ideally, that stuff emerges in conjunction with getting to know another human being, rather than in projecting. Me, for example: It was important that when I told my girlfriend I loved her I was not simply telling her that I loved the way she made me feel. She did that from hour one, but that's just a line of pheromonal cocaine. When I told her I loved her after seven months of dating—and when I told her last night after nearly five years together—I am expressing love for her as a person, not the missing puzzle piece to my personhood.

You guys are talking regularly. Great. Bring up another date at some point, see if she does. All the answers will come. You just have to accept that the ones you filled into the blanks right away might not be the exact same as the ones your write together. 

 

[rainbowsandroses]

Something else to consider Whirling is what the "quality" of your talks have been like as of late. 

You say they're "nice" but there's been a definite shift leaving you feeling a bit off balance and uncertain, like you are feeling now.  Learn to trust your own perceptions and intuition about that. 

I'm not talking about the lack of lovey dovey, that's fantasy and not sustainable.  I'm talking about "connecting" as two people who claim to be in love "connect." 

I'm a big believer in "quality over quantity."

I've had relationships where we only talked 1-2 times in between weekend dates BUT the quality of our talks was high and left us both feeling happy and looking forward to seeing each other!

Perhaps I've misinterpreted but from what you've shared as of late, you talk often but your talks have been sort of "meh."  Low quality. 

You seem to get off (high) on the fact she reached out and that sustains you for a bit, but then you're left feeling depressed and low because you're noticing a shift. 

Don't shuffle that under the rug or make excuses for it or attempt to justify by saying "it's just the ebb and flow," it's not. 

I agree with @bluecastle, be genuine and direct and TELL her you have something on your mind versus asking her if she has something on her mind.

Tell her what you envision going forward and gauge her response.

Keep us posted.. 

[Sindy_0311]

I agree with what has been said above. Also have to mention that in my opinion, you trying to have patience for a few days is fine. But if it lasts two or three weeks, it’s better to assume there is something off. I think that at this stage of dating, emotional connection should start to become stronger while the lovey-dovey stuff declines a bit. So the relationship should be easier to navigate if both sides are on the same page.
 

I remember dating a guy who was going through some issues. 3 month in, we would have a call every two days, and some texts in between and see each other once or twice a week. But the calls were quality ones. We shared a lot and both felt secure in the relationship because of the quality of our communication and the strong emotional bond be had been creating. I had no doubt about his feelings towards me, and neither he did, even if not love yet. It ended for other reasons. And even though I new he needed time, and sometimes wasn’t available to talk, I felt completely fine. 

You are still struggling with the doctor lady, because in my opinion you didn’t create a true emotional connection. You are still walking on eggshells all the time and I doubt that you will someday create the bond you both need to feel safe in that relationship. (Might be too late yet)

IMO There are to many misunderstandings and incompatibilities to make it work. It will soon be 3 month, maybe time to make a decision. And I guess, SHE will do because you aren’t willing/strong enough to make that decision. 

Still, I truly hope I’m wrong, but this is how I perceive it… 

[Batya33]

52 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Something else to consider Whirling is what the "quality" of your talks have been like as of late. 

You say they're "nice" but there's been a definite shift leaving you feeling a bit off balance and uncertain, like you are feeling now.  Learn to trust your own perceptions and intuition about that. 

I'm not talking about the lack of lovey dovey, that's fantasy and not sustainable.  I'm talking about "connecting" as two people who claim to be in love "connect." 

I'm a big believer in "quality over quantity."

I've had relationships where we only talked 1-2 times in between weekend dates BUT the quality of our talks was high and left us both feeling happy and looking forward to seeing each other!

Perhaps I've misinterpreted but from what you've shared as of late, you talk often but your talks have been sort of "meh."  Low quality. 

You seem to get off (high) on the fact she reached out and that sustains you for a bit, but then you're left feeling depressed and low because you're noticing a shift. 

Don't shuffle that under the rug or make excuses for it or attempt to justify by saying "it's just the ebb and flow," it's not. 

I agree with @bluecastle, be genuine and direct and TELL her you have something on your mind versus asking her if she has something on her mind.

Tell her what you envision going forward and gauge her response.

Keep us posted.. 

and also quality need not be “deep” - if it’s sharing funny childhood stories it’s all good. My sister and I can’t connect as often via phone because of different schedules but we spoke on and on the other day and the quality was in the laughs and banter and delight about learning new fun stuff about each other even though she’s been willing to talk to me since I was around 13.  And she’s almost 62!

[rainbowsandroses]

In my relationships, connecting with each other meant different things at different times. 

Sometimes it was fun, laughs, teasing and banter but we also had some great more substantive chats as well. 

As most know, I have no issue with talking and connecting via the written word (email, text) versus verbal and am able to express myself quite well this way.  

Ideally in-person is best but in between, I enjoy email and text. 

There is no one right way to connect imo.  If there are times, a couple's conversations go a bit "deep" that's fine, whatever works each individual couple.

JMO. 

 

[Whirling D]

Well, if anything, I think it may be a case that we shared and bonded more quickly, rather than not bonding. We had a lot of sharing that we did very quickly. We noticed how similar we were, and compared those things and reveled in those things for weeks.  It seemed very clear that we had so much soul energy in common. It almost seemed uncanny. You heard about it forever.
 

We still do share. Our calls aren’t as exciting as they might’ve been a week or two ago, there’s not quite as much smiling, and eye gazing, and we were constantly complementing each other, probably right up until about 10 days ago… That stuff is pretty much gone away.  Same with her sweet, loving emojis and salutations. Pretty much gone. Nada. Nothing.  But she still squeaks out. I love you at the end of our calls. Usually first.  I have to wonder if she thinks that that’s what I’m hoping to hear, and she doesn’t want to make waves, but it may not necessarily have anything to do with where her head is truly at.  I wouldn’t really think so, though. I know she’s quite shy and reserved, but I think if she really was struggling with something, I don’t think she’d be telling me she loved me. Well, perhaps she would, if she was struggling with something, but if she had kind of changed her mind about our compatibility, I doubt she’d be saying that. 

She still seems genuinely happy to hear from me, and, as I mentioned, last Monday, we laughed our selves silly over the stupidest thing… I don’t even remember what it was.

So I wouldn’t be so quick to say that our calls don’t have connection. Just not as intensely as they were, and it seems somewhat… Guarded…

Here’s something else I thought about today… Last weekend, I saw a side of her that I have not yet seen… We will call it avoidant. If you recall, she barely looked at me for about the first five minutes. I was in her garage when she was shuffling around… She was distracted, and a bit cranky… And even when we first got to the beach house, she was kind of the same way. It wasn’t until quite a bit later that she said, “now you’ve seen me in my crazy mode“.

But it may have been just a few hours later in the middle of the night that I saw she was awake, and I was thinking, maybe she was distracted about something related to her and I, and I said to her “I’m sorry I can’t be for you what you need me to be“.  And I don’t remember her exact words, but I think I remember her saying… “But you are… You see all of my quirks, and you accept me anyway”. Those were the only words we exchanged in the middle of the night that night. That was all that was said. I was feeling quite estranged.

But when I think of one of the times that we were up there, not that long ago, she came over and laid across my lap with a hugging like posture, and literally laid there with her head in my chest for about 20 minutes. It was quite awesome, really. That may have been the first time I was up there, I forget.

She may have done that again while we were lying in bed one of the nights last weekend, I don’t recall. But it wasn’t nearly as intense. The intimacy wasn’t nearly as intense. It was much more “routine“.

I don’t really know. There is as much information that tells me that things are fine, but just evolving, then there is information that tells me that it may be devolving.

She hasn’t made any difficult declarations in the last 10 days, and I would almost think if she was struggling that she may be willing to say something by now, but given that she heard how I responded to her hair conversation, maybe she thinks that I’m going to stand a hard line if she shows me any uncertainty.

Interestingly, there was a meme on a Facebook dating site that comes up in my feed, and it said something like… “Don’t waste your time with somebody that isn’t sure about how they feel about you. The person who knows exactly what they want is out there and waiting for you”. Something like that.

I think that’s what was such a blow to my heart with the trifecta of conversations… Religion, my house, my hair. It just told me that she isn’t really sure what she wants. I think she liked the attention that I was giving her, and she liked the thought of somebody who thinks so much more like she does, which, in many ways we do, but culturally speaking, we’re quite far apart. I suspect that is weighing on her a little bit. 

It’s also my guess that she is just trying to chill and let things unfold organically, but given that we both said, even on our first real date, that we both have a hard time, trusting people, she may have kind of put a safety net around her heart, and is now playing it safe. That’s kind of exactly what I’m doing, as well. It’s now baby steps time, because we both may feel vulnerable to getting hurt. 
 

She’s pretty good at hiding that, and I don’t pick up on a lot of signals if she is feeling vulnerable, which I suspect she is… But I know if she was on here having the same conversation, she would likely be saying that she has no way to tell if that’s what I’m feeling, as well.

I’m not crazy about asking any of this on our calls. We connect so much better in person. It seems, because I can look right in her eyes, maybe even hold her hand while we are talking. I think that helps bridge huge gaps. It’s just been 10 days since I’ve been able to do that.

Typically, other than a week and a half ago when she was in her crazy mode, the minute I see that lady it seems to fall right back into the perfect rhythm. I’m a little worried even that rhythm is going to be off the next time I see her. Especially if it involves going up to her Beachhouse and the possibility of family being up there. I’m guessing she’s going to be whacked out. I’ll just go along for the ride, really. 

[MrMan1983]

8 minutes ago, Whirling D said:

“I’m sorry I can’t be for you what you need me to be“.

Why did you say that to her? You’ve said stuff like this a few times to her now, bad way to go.

11 minutes ago, Whirling D said:

It’s also my guess that she is just trying to chill and let things unfold organically, but given that we both said, even on our first real date, that we both have a hard time, trusting people, she may have kind of put a safety net around her heart, and is now playing it safe.

Could well be, organic is always best in my book. Trying to mind read will drive you mad though.  

[rainbowsandroses]

49 minutes ago, Whirling D said:

Also my guess that she is just trying to chill and let things unfold organically...

My last piece of advice (I know I keep saying that, this thread is addicting! Lol)

But seriously Whirling my advice is STOP guessing.  You've been tip toeing around trying to "guess" why she behaves the way she does at various times, aren't you exhausted from it? 

Just talk to her, get into it, not sure what you're afraid of.

Not for reassurance but to get closer, build intimacy. 

That's what you do, you talk, you communicate, you ask the hard questions and be honest and forthright about how you feel and what you want. 

You can't keep playing guessing games, that is a game you will surely lose.

[Whirling D]

18 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

My last piece of advice (I know I keep saying that, this thread is addicting! Lol)

But seriously Whirling my advice is STOP guessing.  You've been tip toeing around trying to "guess" why she does the things she does, aren't you exhausted from it? 

Just talk to her, get into it, not sure what you're afraid of.

Not for reassurance but to get closer, build intimacy. 

That's what you do, you talk, you communicate, you ask the hard questions and be honest and forthright about how you feel and what you want. 

You can't keep playing guessing games, that is a game you will surely lose.

I know we will talk at some point… I don’t think our video call is the way to go. Especially when she’s getting ready for bed.

if she invites me up to the beach house this weekend, maybe on the hour long ride up there would be a good time, but even that may not be great.

you should know exactly what I’m afraid of. I’ve heard it so many times in my life… “You’re not good enough“.

[waffle]

I think it's too early in this relationship to reduce it to simply hanging out at each others' homes.  That's going to get boring real quick (likely already has).  At less than 3 months in I think you should be going out on real dates.

[Whirling D]

39 minutes ago, MrMan1983 said:

Why did you say that to her? You’ve said stuff like this a few times to her now, bad way to go.

Could well be, organic is always best in my book. Trying to mind read will drive you mad though.  

I believe that me saying that to her in the middle of the night may have been a distant follow up to our conversation  when I told her maybe it was time to start thinking about whether I was going to be able to fit into her life.

[Whirling D]

1 minute ago, waffle said:

I think it's too early in this relationship to reduce it to simply hanging out at each others' homes.  That's going to get boring real quick (likely already has).  At less than 3 months in I think you should be going out on real dates.

That’s a good point, waffle. Thank you.

The last time we actually went out and did anything was probably 2.5 weeks ago.  
 

The following weekend we were supposed to go into the city to see July 4 fireworks, which I’d been looking forward to most of the year, but it had been raining all that day, and she didn’t really wanna go… I should’ve pushed a little bit, but we were having a good time at the house.

then, one time she just wanted to hang out at her house, when I would’ve been perfectly happy going out somewhere.

The one time she came down to my house, I pretty much found the activities to do… I think she enjoyed them, but it wasn’t easy to tell.  

I guess I have kind of made suggestions and helped decide on the things to do when we were at her house, as well, but for the most part, she knows that area, so she picks out the things to do.

I will be mostly a follower this weekend if I go up to her beach house, given that there will likely be other people there as well, which will be a bit daunting.

I think she is more of a homebody than I am… Although I get a chance to hang out for the early part of the day, so I guess I’m a bit of a homebody as well. Not nearly as fun when there’s nobody to go out with. So I sit at home and write on here… 😭

there is another thing she told me about the other day… Her friend that was up visiting her at the beach house told her that she had an extra ticket to Bruce Springsteen sometime later this summer, maybe September. She seemed to be pretty excited about it, but knew she was going to have to take a day off of work for that… She needs eight weeks in advance from her employer to take days off.

my initial reaction is happiness for her that she’ll be able to go out and have a good time like that, but when I think about it more, it also makes me sad that there is almost no way in purgatory that I could afford to do something like that with her. Plus, I’ve kind of lost interest in going to big events like that anymore.

[Whirling D]

10 minutes ago, waffle said:

I think it's too early in this relationship to reduce it to simply hanging out at each others' homes.  That's going to get boring real quick (likely already has).  At less than 3 months in I think you should be going out on real dates.

If it were up to me, I’d like to be going out and doing something almost every weekend… Even on a work night. Nothing big… Just to go out for ice cream, maybe travel into the city and hike around… Now that I recall, that’s what I said to her last night that we should do at some point soon… I watched carefully to see her response, and it seemed favorable… She said something else in the last few nights that referred to us doing something together at some point in the future, so I still get the impression she’s thinking in terms of forward motion, and not ending things, but how do I really know…

[Sindy_0311]

55 minutes ago, Whirling D said:

Interestingly, there was a meme on a Facebook dating site that comes up in my feed, and it said something like… “Don’t waste your time with somebody that isn’t sure about how they feel about you. The person who knows exactly what they want is out there and waiting for you”. Something like that.

I think that’s what was such a blow to my heart with the trifecta of conversations… Religion, my house, my hair. It just told me that she isn’t really sure what she wants. I think she liked the attention that I was giving her, and she liked the thought of somebody who thinks so much more like she does, which, in many ways we do, but culturally speaking, we’re quite far apart. I suspect that is weighing on her a little bit. 

I like these two paragraphs. I think you already know what it is about. Your gut feeling. But somehow you are not capable of loosing her? Why is that? Are you afraid of being alone again? Not meeting anyone else? Also there’s a saying I like: “all the time you spend with the wrong person is keeping you away from the right one.”

 

1 hour ago, Whirling D said:

Especially if it involves going up to her Beachhouse and the possibility of family being up there. I’m guessing she’s going to be whacked out. I’ll just go along for the ride, really. 

Me personally I wouldn’t go. I would decline her offer to meet her family. Way to soon. Imagine you meet them and then she decides to end it, wouldn’t it have been to much effort from your part. I would decline saying that for you, meeting her family is a big step, that you are not ready yet…

 

1 hour ago, Whirling D said:

she may have kind of put a safety net around her heart, and is now playing it safe. That’s kind of exactly what I’m doing, as well. It’s now baby steps time, because we both may feel vulnerable to getting hurt. 

I don’t think so… This is often what people say to explain someone’s distant behavior, and often it’s not the right answer. You are afraid, but you are consistent in what you show or how you communicate with her. She isn’t. It seems pretty clear to me. 

[Sindy_0311]

9 minutes ago, Whirling D said:

I think she enjoyed them, but it wasn’t easy to tell.  

7 minutes ago, Whirling D said:

I watched carefully to see her response, and it seemed favorable…

Where is the enthusiasm? How is it you don’t even can tell whether she appreciated the activities you proposed. Is that lady a ice cube? If a man I’m dating for a few weeks, that I supposedly “love”, proposes me activities or things to do together in the future, I show some genuine enthusiasm… maybe I’m to transparent but this is also how you build connection to people, by showing you appreciate the efforts made and the time spent together….