Work Stress

[Minimix]

I moved abroad about a year ago for my husbands work and l started a new part time job. We was looking forward to a fresh start with our young children. Initially I was very happy with my new employment but a few months in, a girl started to make things hard for me. It’s been hell ever since and getting worse. She talks down to me, snaps at me, excludes me from conversations. Like to the point she will whisper to people while I am in the same room and glance over at me. Past few weeks she has started ignoring me, if I have to ask her anything work related she snaps and so I’m too afraid to ask anymore. What is her problem? I have approached my seniors about this before and they took it seriously but things have just gotten worse. I walk past the pod where she works and she looks at me and s***s. This is causing me immense anxiety. I feel sick constantly, can’t sleep and cry so much. I’m so paranoid, I overheard her laughing to someone about me and saying unpleasant things. Now I feel like she’s always talking about me. Why be like this? I don’t want to leave but I can’t handle this situation for much longer. Everyone seems to turn a blind eye to it which makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. This also makes me afraid to reach out to my employers again

[Kampuniform3]

3 minutes ago, Minimix said:

I moved abroad about a year ago for my husbands work and l started a new part time job. We was looking forward to a fresh start with our young children. Initially I was very happy with my new employment but a few months in, a girl started to make things hard for me. It’s been hell ever since and getting worse. She talks down to me, snaps at me, excludes me from conversations. Like to the point she will whisper to people while I am in the same room and glance over at me. Past few weeks she has started ignoring me, if I have to ask her anything work related she snaps and so I’m too afraid to ask anymore. What is her problem? I have approached my seniors about this before and they took it seriously but things have just gotten worse. I walk past the pod where she works and she looks at me and s***s. This is causing me immense anxiety. I feel sick constantly, can’t sleep and cry so much. I’m so paranoid, I overheard her laughing to someone about me and saying unpleasant things. Now I feel like she’s always talking about me. Why be like this? I don’t want to leave but I can’t handle this situation for much longer. Everyone seems to turn a blind eye to it which makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. This also makes me afraid to reach out to my employers again

I think respect in the workplace is largely foundational, and most employers understand the legal consequences of letting poor behaviour flourish.

There's two options: Quit, or Win.

Having dealt with workplace harassment, your harasser will not stop. It will not matter how many times she's confronted by her employer, as it just buys you just a small break before the harassment resumes again.

Document EVERYTHING. Record EVERYTHING, if your State/Province has one-party consent.

You will need to do this for some time in order to substantiate any claim(s) you make.

When you've amassed sufficient evidence, show it to your employer.  If the problem persists, talk to a lawyer.  

In my instance, just the threat of consulting a lawyer, along with all my evidence, was sufficient incentive for a past employer to get out their check book$$$.

Good luck!

 

[SooSad33]

I'd consider this a form of workplace bullying - VERY immature! 😕 , so this is on her!

I suggest you find another job, this is no way to have to live.. someone causing you stress, anxiety, etc.  And as for your employer, maybe write a letter for when you leave.  Give it to them on your last day and explain how it had continued with her to the point you couldn't take her behaviour/actions around you anymore.

It'd be smart of them to keep an eye on her.. or remove her from that workplace!  

[rainbowsandroses]

If you are in the U.S, this falls under "workplace harassment" and "hostile work environment" and is against the U.S. Federal Labor Laws.   There should be a large notice posted informing everyone of same. 

The fact it causes you such overwhelming stress, anxiety and physical distress and you have advised your employer of same makes this an egregious violation and your employer is liable. 

Which means you are within your rights to file a claim and formal Complaint with the Court.  

Document everything and speak with an employment lawyer.  Your lawyer will first write your employer a "cease and desist" letter.  If the egregious harassment continues, they will file a Complaint.

With these types of cases, where there is such a clear violation, many or even most lawyers will take the case under what's known as "contingency" which means you pay nothing until it either settles or you prevail at trial, and you pay a percentage of the award.  

And such awards can be huge, in the hundreds of thousands!  

You shouldn't have to quit your job but I understand why you want to.  Stay strong and stand up for yourself! 

This should NOT be happening, employees have rights and are entitled to work in an environment free of harassment, bullying and other such BS. 

Good luck! 

 

[Batya33]

How horrible!! Any idea why you and what triggered?? I don’t mean it’s your fault. It’s not. At all!  I’ve experienced similar. She’s being horrible to you and it’s not ok at all. Can’t you - if she seems to be whispering or talking about you approach her and say “I’m sorry - I think I heard my name. What’s up ?”  Make her feel really awkward.  Is there a reason they’re treating her with kid gloves ? Is she dating the boss?

I resumed working part time when our son was 7 - after relocating for my husband’’s work -so I can’t imagine having this level of anxiety at work AND trying to parent. Does your husband think you should quit ?

[smackie9]

I don't think you have it in ya to have her fired because that is what it's going to take to have this stopped.  If this person is capable of doing such immature things in the workplace, it's gonna spill out into your personal life, making things a living hell. Not worth the trouble. Find another job. Your superiors are lazy or don't know how to handle situations like this. Pathetic employer. Time to get out. 

[rainbowsandroses]

Quit your job, explain in detail why, THEN speak with an employment attorney with all your documentation in hand - emails to and from your employer, bullying comments etc. 

I am pissed off on your behalf!  You were wronged and your employer should not be allowed to get away with it.  The employee harassing and bullying you should be disciplined and possibly terminated. 

Pretty much period, end of. 

 

[Kim Conley]

Ok for one, Who is this girl? and what is her position there?

Baby let me tellyou if you like your job and this girlis really agitating to you , ignore her , Don't you ever make someone feel like they got the upper hand on you, Do not ever be timid nor fearful of no one but God. Pull your your pants and let down your dress and go to work like she is not even there sweetie, cause she has the problem with you, You do not have a problem with her, So guess what she has a problem not you. And most of all she is probably jealous of you, hey i love whenfemales talk about me then I know I am the shi_. so you keep going and don't giveup, she don't pay your bills, if I was there she would be leaving not me, So keep your jobif you like it and pray to God to give you strength and understanding and pray for her too because she needs it.

[poorlittlefish]

Have you actually asked her what her problem is? Passive-aggressive behaviour is unacceptable in the workplace. I've had similar situations twice in the past. On both occasions I confronted the person (nicely). The behaviour improved because they knew I wasn't the pushover they thought I was. People will treat you the way you allow them to, so don't allow it! 

If you speak to her politely and do not get a favourable response, then advise her that you've tried to resolve the issue informally, but you'll now be raising a formal grievance. As others have said, document everything, especially the names of any witnesses. 

You should not be forced to leave your job because of one employee's bad behaviour. She and the employer need to know you are serious about putting a stop to it. If you leave, she's free to do this to someone else and the problem remains.

If you are in the UK, then going down the grievance route will be necessary if you later resign and claim constructive dismissal with the employment tribunal.