What shall I do

[yezzy]

I am currently in a stable relationship of 2.5 years. We get on well, have a decent sex life and are in it for the right reasons but recently things just feel abit one sided. With the cost of living my partner has moved back in with his mum to save money (she is not my biggest fan) I find that as a lady I am paying for things alot more than before despite being on a lower salary as I am more organised with my money. He barely takes me out and when he does he chooses cheaper places without making it obvious which I have always been very understanding about. But he seems to be getting quite comfortable.

Last summer an ex who I had an amazing sex life with (currently lives abroad) reached out trying to rekindle. I quickly shut him down explained I'm with someone, tried to limit my interactions but somehow found myself talking to him all the time. He tried to talk me into meeting for a final goodbye but I refused as I was scared I'd do something I'd regret.

After a few weeks the conversations eventually died down and I went back to enjoying what I could of my relationship. Few weeks ago I found out he was involved in a severe accident where one person was pronounced dead and went crazy when I couldn't get through to him to see if he was OK. A day later he got back to me and confirmed he lost his friend was in a bad place and that he'd be coming back home.  

I messaged twice to check in and comfort him when he got back, again caring abit too much without my boyfriend knowing. I was so desperate to just see him to know he was OK because the thought of almost loosing him killed me. I suggested we meet his response was you know what i want, I'll leave it to you. 

Now I love my boyfriend and would never even imagine cheating on him but i am really gravitating towards my ex. I know i am not married and feel drained by my relationship but I believe in being a good person. But this just feels like the right thing to do.. 

 

Help.

 

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, yezzy said:

Last summer an ex who I had an amazing sex life with (currently lives abroad). he got back to me and confirmed he lost his friend was in a bad place and that he'd be coming back home.  

There seems to be a lot of signs that not only are you and your current BF incompatible, but you're growing to resent him more and more.

You have enough reasons to end things with the current BF based on the situation alone.

If you still have feelings for this ex and he is returning to your area, you may have to free yourself from your current situation in order to explore that.

How long ago did you and this ex break up and why?

[Kwothe28]

As long as you got away from relationship with Kim K, Yeezy. Sorry, I had to. 🤣

Your story reads very familiar. Woman gets into relationship, woman gets unsatisfied with how things are(in your case with money and sex life), woman remembers she has an ex that she had an amazing time with and somebody reaches out. All you need to do is cheat and you have a basic Netflix TV show lol. 

Anyway, I wouldnt go for neither of them. You are clearly disatisfied with your relationship and should break up. In fact, that moral norm where you are still in the relationship, is the only thing stopping you from getting it with your ex, otherwise you would probably be with him. But, no matter how our exes were good, they are exes for a reason. That guy wont bring you hapiness(except in bed maybe), especially as LDR. So, break up the relationship where you are clearly unsatisfied, and be alone until you find somebody more suitable.

[JTCW]

If you make the decision to go and see your ex then you need to break up with your current BF first. You know what will happen with your ex once you see him. If you love your bf and don't want to cheat then don't meet up with your ex.

[HeartGoesOn]

9 hours ago, yezzy said:

Now I love my boyfriend and would never even imagine cheating on him but i am really gravitating towards my ex. I know i am not married and feel drained by my relationship but I believe in being a good person. But this just feels like the right thing to do.. 

The right thing to do is avoid the grass is greener way of thinking, and get your head on straight...so to speak.   This has the potential to leave you empty handed, where the choice will be made for you.   Are you ready for that?

[greendots]

Your ex is currently is going through a lot right now  and therefore is seeking comfort.

The harsh reality is that this doesn't mean that he really wants to get back together with you or that whatever caused you both to split up has been fixed. Something to think about.