girls and deadly shy men

[poison82]

Hi yesterday I went to my m8s wedding, during the evening party I started to feel really low.

I noticed all my m8s had partners and I don't, I felt so alone and upset about it although I hid my feelings away during the party.

 

Thing is I've never really had a real girlfriend, I know I'm not ugly just painfully shy.

 

I find some girls often try and make eye contact with me but then I feel like my hearts going explode and I just go really red and sometimes I will not even look at them again even though i would like to, its just to throw them off the sent.

 

Yesterday there was this really pretty girl watching me and kinda following me around by herself we both made eye contact and we both went really red, I could not look at her again it killed me

 

I find it alot harder with pretty girls, there was this other girl there I've seen her around before and shes often looks and smiles at me but I can just about look at her I feel a little more comfortable with her shes pretty but not pretty pretty if yer no what I mean.

 

Please help

[annie24]

hmm... why don't you try being friends with some girls that you don't find attractive to help you deal with talking to girls. I'm sure that the attractive girl that was looking at you was hoping you would go over to her and say hi. You should do that next time.

[reflectionlessmirror]

What are you affraid of? Rejection? Most likeley that is is what you fear, but do youknow what? Maybe your FEAR of being rejected is worse than actually being rejected in real life? What is the worse that could happen. Consider you fear your greatest handicap.

[poison82]

I have been really thinking about this, I think if I go up to her and start trying to make converstaion she will lose intrest straight away, cuz I am really quite and I do find it difficult talking to people, even friends sometimes,

 

Then theres dating, I know if I date a girl it will be the worst date shes ever been on, Maybe cuz it goes back to this girl I dated yrs ago and it was a complete disater, I was really tense and didn't know really what to talk about cuz my mind just goes blank.

 

She was my first date I was crazy about her back then and then she rejected me it hurt me really bad. I was a mess for months and I am frightened of going through that sort of pain again I just know I carn't.

 

I think I am just to far sensitive to people.

[smallworld]

After a few excrutiating blind dates in college, I knew myself well enough to know that I'd never be a 'casual' dater. I'm too shy for that! So I only dated people I'd gotten to know and like really well over a long period time. You sound like you might be the same.

 

I agree with Annie. Just try making female friends for now. Don't even think about dating. If you find a situation awkward, remember most people are vain and love to talk about themselves. (For more insight, read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People) In time your confidence will build and when the right girl comes along, you'll know and getting to know her will be much easier than you think.

 

As for your first date that didn't go so well, don't be hard on yourself. There were two people on that date and it was just as much her responsibility to make the night fun as you. Ms. Wrong was just one random girl that intersected with your existence. If she dumped you after one awkward date, it's obvious that she wasn't right for you. So why let someone as superficial and insensitive as her decide the fate of your entire love life?

[ShySoul]

If you expect a date to go bad or that she won't like you, you'll find a way to make that come true. You had a bad experience, but if you let the expereince and fear get to you then you'll never make up for it with a truly memorable experience that is better then you have ever imagined.

 

smallworld gives excellent advice (like always ), that girl was foolish enough to walk away and miss out on everything you have to offer. Don't let that control your actions. Don't think about dating, just focus on being friends. Talk to people. Soon you'll meet someone that will be right for you and see how great you are. Shy people are usually the best people once you get to know them, any one would be lucky to go out with you.

[smallworld]

smallworld gives excellent advice (like always )

 

ShySoul, You're so bad! (But compassionate & insightful as usual!!!)

[ShySoul]

ShySoul, You're so bad! (But compassionate & insightful as usual!!!)

 

Oh no, I've turned into a bad boy and didn't even realize it! That darn corruption has got to me!

 

Oh, wait a sec. You meant bad as in good, not bad as in bad. You kids and your crazy slang, can't keep up.