My mind keeps me numb

[shadowboy]

I am male and i am single and always was, and i was constantly rejected by girls. Now i have improved and made a huge glow up, and i have started noticing that girls have started showing interest.

 

There is just one big problem. While it is very apparent that a certain girl that i also really like likes me, i am scared of making a move. I see the signs in front of me, yet i still am filled with doubts and have the fear that she actually finds me creepy. We are very close, she hugs me and lightly flirts with me a lot and i want to find a chance and go in for a kiss. But as i said before my mind keeps me from doing anything because im scared that i am misunderstanding her and that she doesn't actually like me at all. This has happened before with another girl. 

 

What should i do? How can I get over my doubts and i actually go for what i want? 

 

 

[boltnrun]

Do not "go in for a kiss". Ask her out on a date. Don't say "Want to grab some food?" Say something like "I'm really interested in seeing New Movie. Would you like to go with me? And I'd like to take you out to dinner afterward." If she says yes, kiss her at the end of the date. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, shadowboy said:

  i want to find a chance and go in for a kiss. 

Wanting to ask someone out who is friendly to you and who you like is a great idea. However randomly "going in for a kiss" is creepy. 

You'll have to start by asking her out on a nice one-on-one date first.

[shadowboy]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Do not "go in for a kiss". Ask her out on a date. Don't say "Want to grab some food?" Say something like "I'm really interested in seeing New Movie. Would you like to go with me? And I'd like to take you out to dinner afterward." If she says yes, kiss her at the end of the date. 

You guys are correct and i agree with you, but its hard to find time for both of us to go on a proper date this month, and I wanna make a move fast, because i have the fear of someone else making a move to her before I do. 

We will attend a party both of us this weekend, and I was thinking about "going in for a kiss" then, if she looks like she is open to it. I was going to do that on a previous party but i didn't really find the chance nor the courage. 

So yeah, i would ask her on a date, but we have no time this month and i wanna do something quick. Maybe im rushing but I'm afraid she also might lose interest

[boltnrun]

Going in for a kiss is a great way to get her to "lose interest" if the interest wasn't there to begin with.

I have male friends and if any of them went in for a kiss I would be extremely upset. And yes, I do hug them and spend time one on one with them and we do message daily. None of that means I want them to kiss me.

I sincerely hope you aren't reading any of those so-called "dating coach" websites. Those are designed to make money, not to provide legit help.

[shadowboy]

9 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Going in for a kiss is a great way to get her to "lose interest" if the interest wasn't there to begin with.

I have male friends and if any of them went in for a kiss I would be extremely upset. And yes, I do hug them and spend time one on one with them and we do message daily. None of that means I want them to kiss me.

I sincerely hope you aren't reading any of those so-called "dating coach" websites. Those are designed to make money, not to provide legit help.

Good point. But she doesn't hug any other boy except me. She also said last week that she thinks that im her most attractive friend. That's why i have good reason to believe she likes me. But at the same time you do have a point it is kinda sudden and might throw her off.

Also I used to read dating coaches and all that but i realised that most of them gave out impractical and straight up bull*** advice, like you said.

[boltnrun]

If she's the right one, wouldn't she be worth waiting a month? And if the interest you think you see on her end is legit she isn't going to rush out to date some other guy unless she's the immature type that would be trying to make you jealous.

I still stand by my advice...ask her for a real date, not a hangout. 

[Jibralta]

21 hours ago, shadowboy said:

I wanna make a move fast, because i have the fear of someone else making a move to her before I do. 

Don't be desperate. It's scary. People don't like being treated like an object that can be 'stolen' by someone else, and we don't like having our personal space invaded. It sounds like things are going just fine with you acting naturally. Take your time. Enjoy her company. Relax a little.

[Betterwithout]

Desperation can be sensed from miles away, so don't "go in for a kiss" until you are certain the feeling is mutual.   You have yet to learn body language and know what the green lights look like, so be mindful of this.
Don't worry about making a move before someone else does, just be confident in your moves.  "fake it til you make it" works for some people.
Good luck...and be sure to relax. It's not the Olympics!
 

[shadowboy]

UPDATE::: I actually did what i was telling you about. We were at a party and went somewhere alone, then i went in for a kiss. She really enjoyed it and we made out three times, and we now are together. At the end my gut was right, she really was into me and it was the right move to do.