Friends

[Dee76]

I have been seeing this guy for a yr now and I go to his house all the time I cook and sleep with him and I helped him thru sickness, when I was with him the other night making love he don't say much of anything that he think he would regret, but that night he said I need you, I have done a lot for him been there all the time, he holds me after sex and during sleep,he has asked me if I like coming over and if I feel safe, I said yes and yes, I trust him he does work all the time on the weekdays and when he's off I'm there, we started picking out movies he has to watch together, we watch sports together as well. So is the I need you forever or just when he wants sex.

[Kwothe28]

Are you in a relationship together? Make plans about the future and everything? Or you are just seeing him for sex? 

Because if you are in a relationship for a year, date, make plans and everything that is fine, he might want something more. If you are just going to his house to have sex, sadly I think its just yours wishful thinking for more, that you see signs that are not there(picking a movie to watch while you are there doesnt mean much) and that he just wants sex without commitment. 

[Batya33]

How often does he take you out on dates he plans in advance? Have you met his friends and family? How often do you suggest activities for the two of you to do outside of his home? Does he cook for you? Take care of you when you're sick?  Are you two allowed to date other people? Why in the world are you having sex with someone and you don't feel comfortable asking him what he means when he says I need you?

[catfeeder]

I can only speak for myself. I'd feel like a cook and housekeeper who is getting paid with sex instead of money.

Does he ever leave the house? If so, does he ever take you with him?

 

 

[MissCanuck]

10 hours ago, Dee76 said:

I have been seeing this guy for a yr now

Yet you posted this in the Friends forum. I am guessing you two are not officially in a relationship? 

[Dee76]

No he said beloved me and cares for me, I guess he doesn't like to say he shows more

 

[Batya33]

9 minutes ago, Dee76 said:

No he said beloved me and cares for me, I guess he doesn't like to say he shows more

 

Is he allowed to date others or have sex with others? Are you? If you're not sure what he means by "need" why not ask? How does he show he cares? Does he take you out on dates, make plans for the two of you, help you if you are sick or need help with a family situation?

[Dee76]

3 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Is he allowed to date others or have sex with others? Are you? If you're not sure what he means by "need" why not ask? How does he show he cares? Does he take you out on dates, make plans for the two of you, help you if you are sick or need help with a family situation?

Yes, yes, yes

[Dee76]

I'm giving him time, I enjoy being with him and in fact he has told me that he enjoys being with me he is a lot older then I and he has set his ways of doing things living he has been married before with kids and been in relationships that has hurt him a lot of times bc I have talked with the others not knowing I know him, I AM very secretive about myself from other's I just over hear things from others. Batya33 hit me in private convo thanks

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Dee76 said:

I'm giving him time, I enjoy being with him and in fact he has told me that he enjoys being with me he is a lot older then I and he has set his ways of doing things living he has been married before with kids and been in relationships that has hurt him a lot of times bc I have talked with the others not knowing I know him, I AM very secretive about myself from other's I just over hear things from others. Batya33 hit me in private convo thanks

How long would you stay with him if you knew he was never going to make a commitment to you and how do you feel about him choosing fear from past relationships over being in a committed relationship with you?

[Dee76]

That's a good question, I dunno know myself if he is going to treat me like a yo yo I will be done with him

[Dee76]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

How long would you stay with him if you knew he was never going to make a commitment to you and how do you feel about him choosing fear from past relationships over being in a committed relationship with you?

I don't want him to date anyone and I don't either. I think it would crush me. And I told him that and I believe him

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Dee76 said:

I don't want him to date anyone and I don't either. I think it would crush me. And I told him that and I believe him

So he agreed to not date anyone or look to date anyone ? Is he excited to be committed to you ?  How often does he take you out on dates or to do activities? How often does he invite you out with friends and family ? You seem concerned to be clear and direct with him about what you want and expect. You seem hesitant to ask him what he means by needing you. Why is that after a year of you going all out for him and cooking for him and taking care of him ?

[Dee76]

He works so I respect him and not bother him during the week unless he starts talking to me first, I don't ask questions until I'm with him, I think how I ask him questions that's how I am

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Dee76 said:

He works so I respect him and not bother him during the week unless he starts talking to me first, I don't ask questions until I'm with him, I think how I ask him questions that's how I am

That's fine if you are happy with this sort of relationship and interaction.  Interesting that you have not answered my questions.  Of course you don't have to.  Your choice not to is interesting as far as how you see your role and "status" in his life.  Why would you have to ask him questions about his intentions towards you -doesn't he make it clear by his words and actions that he's committed to you and happy to be committed to you?

[HeartGoesOn]

Thread closed...