My Life

[Rosestorm]

Why do my friends only talk to me when there are no other friends to talk to. Why am I always the last choice out of everybody else. I only get picked in games or i am only talked to unless they are put with me in a project. I am part of a big friend group of 8 people and I am like a stain on the wall. Nobody notices I'm there. Is it my history? Up until I was in 7th grade I was a complete weirdo. I was adopted and needed meds. I didn't get them until I was in 7th grade. Now that I'm on them I'm normal. I don't do weird things anymore. But now I'm just a stain on the wall. Why is this? Will this be my life. Ignored unless I say something first?

[Capricorn3]

21 minutes ago, Rosestorm said:

Why do my friends only talk to me when there are no other friends to talk to. Why am I always the last choice out of everybody else.  Up until I was in 7th grade I was a complete weirdo. I was adopted and needed meds. I didn't get them until I was in 7th grade. Now that I'm on them I'm normal. I don't do weird things anymore. But now I'm just a stain on the wall. Why is this? Will this be my life. Ignored unless I say something first?

As none of us know you, or your friends, it's impossible to be able to answer your questions of why.

Can you elaborate on what exactly you mean when you say you were a "complete, weirdo and don't do weird things anymore", please?  It would help to give context and to understand what you're talking about.

Also, how old are you?

[catfeeder]

6 hours ago, Rosestorm said:

Will this be my life. Ignored unless I say something first?

Probably not, but if you think about it, most people aren't often spoken to by those who don't know them well and feel comfortable with them.

If these people don't feel comfortable with you, then going silent and waiting for them to speak with you will not help to welcome them.

So it's a cycle that can stay locked. 

We all need to help others feel comfortable with us. When in a group I've found it helpful to make little comments to one or two of the people next to me. Maybe we'll have a few giggles. Over time, each of the people have become more familiar with me as a welcoming person. 

I find this far better than trying to be one of the louder attention-seekers. Sure, every group needs one or two of those, but I like to reserve that space for those who already know most of the people well enough to feel confident pulling that off.

So, what is your age? Have you spoken to anyone about feeling lonely in a group?

 

[smackie9]

Awkward age I'm afraid. Things will get better as you go along and meet new people, make new friends, and follow different interests. Life is forever changing. You being a little closed off makes people feel uncomfortable. I recommend not wondering why or how they think of you but instead focus on being positive. When you are happy/positive, talk about things in a positive manner people will want to be around you.

[Rosestorm]

18 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

As none of us know you, or your friends, it's impossible to be able to answer your questions of why.

Can you elaborate on what exactly you mean when you say you were a "complete, weirdo and don't do weird things anymore", please?  It would help to give context and to understand what you're talking about.

Also, how old are you?

Sorry, I'm 15. What I mean about doing weird things is that I used to be really loud and immature. I wouldn't listen to teachers and when I got really hyper when I was doing something fun. I guess I just acted really young. I rode the special needs bus because I was too hyper and when I was hyper I would slide under and flip over seats and "surf" in the aisle. I quess by "weirdo" I meant that I would do things that normal 6th graders wouldn't do. I am a sophomore now and I am really quiet and don't do things that a kid would do. And my friend group is known as the ones who have A, divorced parents, B, drunk parents or drug users, or C, no money. I live in  the country in Rockford, WA. So we aren't bums or anything, but we are broken.

 

18 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

As none of us know you, or your friends, it's impossible to be able to answer your questions of why.

Can you elaborate on what exactly you mean when you say you were a "complete, weirdo and don't do weird things anymore", please?  It would help to give context and to understand what you're talking about.

Also, how old are you?

 

[JohnLee]

I am sorry that you have gone through many unfortunate events in your life and things have not gone well overall. I was in similar situations when I was young and the result was that I was really shy and have low self esteem and feel invisible in a group of friends. I felt that I was not interesting enough and people wouldn't hang out with me unless I am in a group. Sadly, I still feel the same sometimes even at 48 year old. However, most of the time I have learned to ignore what people think and focus on myself.

If you improve your self confidence, you will be a more interesting person and worry less about other people. If you have a chance at your high school I suggest that you join the debate team or other clubs with activities that you are interested in. For me, it is golf. My golf buddies are nice to me because we have the same common interest. This is the environment I am most comfortable in. When you are old enough, join Toastmasters and learn to talk in public, it helps to improve your self-esteem. Excercise, do meditation, Focus on school and be successful at it so you can have a nice career with decent income. I am making over $200k a year in a job that I love and I can tell you it helped me with improving my self esteem tremendously. Without Toastmasters participation, I wouldn't have been successful and more confident. Low self esteem is something that unfortunately will stick with you. You can lessen it by doing positive activities that I have mentioned but I have learned that it is really hard to turn myself into someone totally confident. It is possible but really hard.

[Batya33]

I would avoid hanging out with drug users. People who use drugs are often going to be more interested to and attached to drugs then you or anything you have to say.