EXGirlfriend wont come and get her stuff

[sdsu1]

Quick question....

 

My ex broke up with me about 5 months ago. She keeps on asking for her things, but she never follows through in getting them. I offered to leave them on the porch, drive the to her mother's, and mail them, but she always says that she'll get them later. She'll call just to tell me that she wants to get her stuff, but when I tell her ok, come and get it, she always dropps the subject.

 

Why is she doing this?

[Iceman26]

Forget about why. Shes ancient history.

 

Box up her stuff, drive it over to her house, knock on the door, and give whomever is there her things. Immediately leave.

 

Or

 

Tell her you are putting her stuff outside your front door. If she hasnt come by to pick it up by the time you go to bed, you are throwing it out.

[duchesstigerlily]

It sounds like she doesnt want to finalize the break up by getting her stuff off of you. Maybe she still wants to have contact with you and is afraid she wont talk to you again once you dont have anything to tie you together (her stuff at your place). Maybe you should just go ahead and mail her stuff to her or drop it off at mother's without waiting for her to get it herself.

[Hope75]

I agree with Iceman on this one. It sounds like she is just using her stuff as an excuse to keep contacting you. I agree that you should pack it up and take it over to her place and leave it.

 

Hopefully that will be the end of it.

[simon_uk]

or keep hold of it if you want her to have a reason to contact you

[shorty20]

I had the same problem with my ex. He made me go pick my stuff up from his house after I broke up with him, telling me he didn't ever want to remember me. Then he'd call me at night and cry and ask why i left him. He wouldn't accept any excuse I gave him, so I just so I just stopped answering. He then would call at three in the morning and leave messages saying I'd better give him his stuff back (two sweatshirts that were too small for him because of all the weight he'd gained)... just another excuse to drag it out. So I would call to ask when I could drop it off, and he would always change the subject. I finally just told him to be at my house on ____ day his stuff was being trashed... he never came... so I threw it away and haven't heard from him since... if the stuff isn't that valuable there is no reason it should be that important to get it back... I would give her one mroe chance to get it back, and otherwise just toss it. She shouldn't be contacting you after she broke up with you anywayz, she's just playing games.

[Day_Walker]

If it seems as though she is using her stuff as a reason to contact you then I wouldnt even take it to her place. Instead you can just drop her stuff off at her moms house. Be polite and tell her mother that you are returning her things that she said she wanted then just leave.

[shes2smart]

I'd let the postal service do the work for me.

 

If you're in the US, you can get free priority shipping supplies (boxes, etc) at the post office. Box up her stuff, slap an address label on it, pay a little bit of money for postage, and let the post office deal with it. Use delivery confirmation or return receipt if you want to make sure it was delivered. You can track delivery confirmation on the USPS website.

 

Way I figure it, the USPS is going to be stopping by her place (or her mom's) anyway....why should I waste a trip?

[DN]

I like shes2smart 's solution because you then have a record that it was sent. Itemise the contents etc.

 

If that is too expensive then taking them to her Mom's place is also an option.

[sdsu1]

She moved and i do not know where she lives (I never asked). her mom is out of town on an extended vacation. Do youthink that she just forgot that her crap is at my house?

 

Update: I Saw her driving on the freeway. She drove behind my truck for a while and then paced my truck. i tried to not look over, but she honked and waved like we were still going out. This isn't normal, right?

[chai714]

What are the chances of her seeing you on the freeway? You're in San Diego, right? If that's the case, it would be slim to none. That is strange.

[DN]

I would agree with chai714 that it is a an unlikely coincidence except when I was in England my parents set out from their house in South London and my wife and I from our house in North London en route to a wedding west of the city. With absolute coincidence I ended up driving behind their car at the point where our routes intersected. So it can happen!

[sdsu1]

We havent spoken for a month ever since she gave me a BS "closure" speech. i dont even think that she believed what she was saying. After she said that it would never work, she asked for her stuff again. I told her that she could get it now (we were at my house). She told me that there wasnt enough room in her car to take it all, so she would get it later. She ended it with a long hug, a kiss, and a "we'll talk soon, ok?".

 

If it was really over wouldnt she just taken her stuff?

 

.

[Iceman26]

No, not if shes lazy or doesnt have anyone to help her move her things.

[sdsu1]

they would have fit in her car...easily. She is not lazy either. She went through some emotional termoil and then broke up with me. She has some serious past issues to get over and i think that she is taking time fo get over them.

 

Regardless, l love her very much and I hope that she finds what she is looking for in life. She deserves to be happy. The breakup wasnt about me it was about her and what she is trying to overcome.

[DN]

they would have fit in her car...easily. She is not lazy either. She went through some emotional termoil and then broke up with me. She has some serious past issues to get over and i think that she is taking time fo get over them.

 

Regardless, l love her very much and I hope that she finds what she is looking for in life. She deserves to be happy. The breakup wasnt about me it was about her and what she is trying to overcome.

 

You seem to be a generous and forgiving person - and I admire that. Just be careful that you don't allow people, your ex in particualr, to take advantage of your good nature.

[sdsu1]

as much as it sucks, i just have this "feeling" that she will come back. the way that she looked at me the last time we spoke didn't match with what she was saying. she has been acting extremely weird during the breakup. she says extremely mean and rude things to me and then when i call her on it, she says that she never said them. She is nice one conversation and then mean during another. After being mean she'll wait a few days and then call to tell me that she is going to the store and that she hopes that i am having a great day.

 

this erratic behavior coupled with the sudden demize of our 2.5 year relationship makes me believe that there is something emotionally that she cant handle , so she pushed me away.