itry Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 here's my question... i was seeing this guy for maybe a good 5-6 months.. he seemed like the perfect guy. extremely good lookin..a total head turner... he had a good job.. great family values.. own place, car and motorcycle..no kids.... BUT...(yes...mr. perfects always come with "buts") he always talked about this female "friend" of his... he kept stressing that they were just friends..in fact best friends and nothing more. i even met her and she knew everything about me. mr. perfect holds car doors for me..buys me small gifts out of the blue...pays for dinner and even made dinners for me... ok... about this "female friend". Ms. friend calls at all hours of the night... wether it be 3am or whatever. since mr. perfect and i were just starting to see each other, i didnt want to come off as ms. jealous.. so i just questioned it, made a joke and thats that. one evening while mr. perfect and i were waiting for ms. friend to come over and hang out, mr. perfect said to me "hey..could u do me a favor and not tell ms. friend that i cooked for u the other day? i just don't feel like hearing her mouth..." okkkk... so i found that odd and he must have seen my expression so he tried an explanation "its just that ms.friend always makes a big deal about me cooking and i just dont feel like hearing her mouth.. u dont know her like i do" okkkkkkk.... i left it alone. hmmm... i decided to see where this will go.... after another month or so of casual seeing each other.. lunches.. walking around..movies..i finally ask him "hey...have u and ms. friend ever slept together" he looked a little embarrassed but admitted to doing so. ok, thank u for being honest mr. perfect. again, he reassured me that they were just friends and he was in no type of relationship with her. i said ok.. but still felt weird...at this point, mr. perfect and i had been sleeping together already and ms. friend knows about it. i spent holidays with my family and found out that mr. perfect and ms. friend spent x-mas eve together.. and new years eve. oh yea.... ms. friend has three kids but did not spend either holiday with her children..... somethings fishy? i told mr. perfect i didnt think me and him were a good idea and that i had to go with my gut. mr. perfect whined, got upset and asked if it was his friend. i said it had to do more with him. he wrote me a long letter saying he missed me and wanted to try and be friends... one evening i called him...ms.friend was there watching movies with him alone at his place...she said hi to me..... he sounded uncomfortable. u know.., he had that "voice". ladies and gents u know the tone of someone that ur dating... u know how they speak to u when they are comfortable and u know how they speak to u when they are not... he was not comfortable. he still insists that theres nothing. i stopped calling and emailing. he has tried to reach me several times but i didnt respond. his story's the same... theyre best of friends and thats all there is to it. oh yeah... i asked him how long they were friends for...one whole year. wow. yeah right? whatever..... he was too perfect... do u guys think that theres more to their situation than he let on? he insists that he has never lied to me about anything... Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Oh honey - I think you did the right thing. I can smell the fishiness all the way over here! I've been in a similar situation a few years back, and I've gotta say, trust your gut. There is definitely something going on between Mr. Perfect and Ms. Friend. It's good you left sooner rather than later... Why does he miss you so much? He obviously has a movie buddy and a date on new year's, so he can't be THAT lonely. I hope you meet another Mr. Perfect who doesn't have a "Ms. Friend"! Good luck! Link to comment
punchy504 Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 he might not have technically lied but portraying a relatively new friend as so good of a friend that he could not possibly not do as much stuff with her just to make you a bit more comfortable would get my back up. they have been friends for a year that means they have slept together within the past year, things are obviously too fresh with her for him to make a good start with someone new. you did the right thing Link to comment
Falucchi Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Oh honey, this one stinks so badly, I can smell it from here! You are really smart to leave him alone. Good move. I think this is his girlfriend, and they decided to be "on a break" and "needed space" and he told her he "wasn't sure about the relationship" and wanted to maybe "see other people" (you)-- but she, the little fool with 3 kids and no man, is thinking, if she plays it cool, he'll "come back to her" after his little fling with you. Mr. Romance is a stink-bomb- toss him far, far away! Link to comment
Falucchi Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 hey annie-- did you copy my post or did I copy yours? LOL I like how you think! Link to comment
ms anthrope Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 i think your gut was accurate on this one TOTALLY. my best friend is also a guy. but i sure as hell dont treat him like that. whenever he has a gf...he introduces me as his best friend. i know they get a little jealous at first...but after getting to know me...realize im not remotely a threat. but i would NEVER throw fits over what he does for his gf and why had never done that for me. and if i knew they were out together or hanging out...i wouldnt bother him with phone calls. i basically give him lots and lots of space and talk to him a lot...but not so much that it intrudes on his relationship with his gf. also, i go out with him and his gf and would take my bf with me. and im VERRRY affectionate with my bf kinda thing. i think those two have issues and they were unfortuneately putting you in the middle. not fair at ALL to you. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 I was here first! Yes... the smell is leaking out of my keyboard and into the room. Phew!!! Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Oh yeah girlfriend, This guy reeks of BS.... whether he is admitting it to himself or not, Ms.Friend and he have regular little tete a tete going on here, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. You were very wise to send him to the curb. Perhaps Mr. Perfect's one flaw is that when a relationship is over, he doesn't see it for being over and so starts up a new one with you, all the while still tangled up with Ms. Ex! Best of luck moving on, looks like Mr. Perfect had some tarnish after all. Link to comment
itry Posted June 1, 2005 Author Share Posted June 1, 2005 lol u guys are funny. Lord he was soooooo hot. but darnit lol yeah something was up. im glad it wasnt just in my head. some of my friends who have met him were nuts about him too and thought i was just jumping to conclusions. when u take feelings away and put all rationality onto paper (or in this case..onto computer screen) things become a bit clearer Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 It's always a shame when you have to toss away a perfectly good hottie because he/she is an idiot, but oh well.... sometimes we have to sacrafice in the name of self respect.... Link to comment
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