Grief triggers

[CrazyWife]

I previously posted about my Dad dying and we had the funeral just over a week ago. It was a lovely service and we gave him a good send off. I am currently seeing a therapist. 

I have good and bad days but I know this sounds silly but I have found Queen Elizabeth's death a big trigger for me. I am a Royalist and went to lay flowers for her but just couldn't bring myself to go see her cortege head away from Balmoral as it just brings back all the memories of my Dad's funeral. 

I feel guilty not going to see her cortege and getting fed up of seeing facebook / social media posts of people describing it as a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity and I feel i missed out on something monumental especially for a Royalist like me. But i would have been too emotional. I've been crying all day today. I have already seen funeral cars lately, i don't need to see more and a sea of phones along with it. 

I'm just finding it hard and thankfully have stayed sober. I could honestly just disable all social media for the time being as fed up of seeing people put posts up on social media about her death. Someone has died and they just want to make it into a circus so they can get their facebook likes. Sorry if i am ranting lol. I just hate days like this 😥

I just really miss my Dad and want all this hurt to go. Then when I heard the Queen died, i'm like who next? My friend who completed suicide's first year anniversary is coming up too. I'm just lost. I just want some advice on how i can reduce and manage these triggers.

 

[Jibralta]

40 minutes ago, CrazyWife said:

I could honestly just disable all social media for the time being as fed up of seeing people put posts up on social media about her death. Someone has died and they just want to make it into a circus so they can get their facebook likes.

I think that's the way to go--even if it's just for a week, or a month.

It's wonderful not having to see that crap, believe me. I deleted my facebook almost 10 years ago and I still breathe a big sigh of relief every time I think of what I don't have to see!

Great job staying sober!!

[CrazyWife]

1 minute ago, Jibralta said:

I think that's the way to go--even if it's just for a week, or a month.

It's wonderful not having to see that crap, believe me. I deleted my facebook almost 10 years ago and I still breathe a big sigh of relief every time I think of what I don't have to see!

Great job staying sober!!

I just think sometimes it makes you more depressed. I remember deactivating it and unfollowing people when Covid first hit as that is all you heard and it was making my anxiety skyrocket. 

[Jibralta]

13 minutes ago, CrazyWife said:

I just think sometimes it makes you more depressed.

I've never felt depressed over it, but everyone is different. You can always try deactivating and then reactivate, if you find it doesn't help. 

Back when I did have social media, I once temporarily disabled my facebook after a break up. It took away the constant reminder and urge to ruminate over the relationship. When I felt better, I reactivated it and got on with my online 'life.'

Trial and error until you find out what works for you. Just don't turn to drinking again!

[SooSad33]

Yes, over stimulation.  Too much going on 😞 

You are dealing with a lot!  So, please do not at all feel 'guilt' for not going her way.

Is just fine that you avoided more triggers... you are struggling. So your own self care IS important ❤️ .

Try to go out for some fresh air.. walks,, quiet time?  And limit yourself for a little while on all you expose yourself to ( eg social media).  is hard enough on most - and yeah, I have heard a few times how it reminds many of dealing with their own losses 😕 .

Keep moving ahead on dealing with & accepting your closest loss..  TC

[CrazyWife]

8 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

Yes, over stimulation.  Too much going on 😞 

You are dealing with a lot!  So, please do not at all feel 'guilt' for not going her way.

Is just fine that you avoided more triggers... you are struggling. So your own self care IS important ❤️ .

Try to go out for some fresh air.. walks,, quiet time?  And limit yourself for a little while on all you expose yourself to ( eg social media).  is hard enough on most - and yeah, I have heard a few times how it reminds many of dealing with their own losses 😕 .

Keep moving ahead on dealing with & accepting your closest loss..  TC

Yeah it's like I feel guilt for my own self care. There is so much going on right now. I'm actually going to the gym tomorrow to just get some me time away from it all. I have now deactivated my facebook and ig accounts just to get away even just for a week. 

[SooSad33]

14 minutes ago, CrazyWife said:

Yeah it's like I feel guilt for my own self care.

Yeah. is sometimes hard for some to feel okay with this 😕 .  But try not to.  In the end, it IS very important to realize we NEED this.

Otherwise, we risk mental exhaustion, overly stressed, anxiety issues etc.

Self care is important.. TC  ❤️