Chapter 3

[Jibralta]

Happy Birthday!

[mylolita]

3 hours ago, dias said:

I didn't hit the gym, I did a bit of calisthenics at the park. I did manage to do human flag the other day, just for two seconds but it still counts!

 

You are insane and not right, but that’s very impressive - now go sit down and have a drink and celebrate! 🎉 

[dias]

My parents are so incompatible they are toxic. I have to hear them bashing one another all the time. It's not that they are bad people but they are extremely incompatible. The only way to console them is to agree with what they say otherwise they get angry and if I do  I am in the middle trying to defend both of them, and then I am not honest myself because I don't take sides and whatnot, and then I get frustrated and tell them I am going back to the UK and I don't want to be burdened with their problems, and then my mother starts crying and crying and crying and thinks she wasn't a good mother, and ...it's a mess...

No wonder I have fear of intimacy and I don't like relationships... if you were raised by parents who argued 24/7 since your were born and burdened you with all their stupids problems which simply is pure incompatibility and they shouldn't have married in the first place  it makes sense.....

 

 

 

[mylolita]

34 minutes ago, dias said:

My parents are so incompatible they are toxic. I have to hear them bashing one another all the time. It's not that they are bad people but they are extremely incompatible. The only way to console them is to agree with what they say otherwise they get angry and if I do  I am in the middle trying to defend both of them, and then I am not honest myself because I don't take sides and whatnot, and then I get frustrated and tell them I am going back to the UK and I don't want to be burdened with their problems, and then my mother starts crying and crying and crying and thinks she wasn't a good mother, and ...it's a mess...

No wonder I have fear of intimacy and I don't like relationships... if you were raised by parents who argued 24/7 since your were born and burdened you with all their stupids problems which simply is pure incompatibility and they shouldn't have married in the first place  it makes sense.....

 

 

 

This is very difficult Dias, I can't imagine. I didn't realise your parents were that "full on" let's say. I thought when you hinted at it in the past they might be bickering or nagging at each other. Tough, very tough.

I have often spoke to friends and the like who had parents who would, by time they were about 7, starting slagging the other parent off to them, or offloading their emotional problems onto them, or even strangely burdening their young children and then into their teenage years with their relationship issues. It's crazy. I know this sounds stupid and you've probably done this a thousand times but, ever told them how it makes you feel?

My husbands parents are like this too, but it's horribly passive aggressive behaviour instead, leaving toxic tension and heavy mood in the air, and then they take it all out on other people, my husband, for a start. He had a big argument with his Dad recently, it was really bad - he actually told him "you are a really bad Dad sometimes" - sometimes being the main word, and subjectively, from what he's told me and what I see, I'd say that's actually really lenient. He's been a bad father most of the time. He hasn't spoken to his Dad now for about 2 months, and he would normally go catch him down at his old local pub every other week, or at least call him up a couple of times a month. They never make the effort with him though. It's horrible. It's hit my husband how neglectful they are and have been now he has the kids. 

Do you feel... suspicious? Or maybe, negative, or cautious, about relationships Dias? Do you think, because of this?

I was watching a video last night and the guy was extremely successful, and he said one of the most important decisions of your life isn't what you do for work or study or money, but who you pick as a partner. That rang true for me. I think it's the heaviest most important thing. He said he knows billionaires and whether they are happy or having a good day or not is not down to how their business is going or if a family member is sick or in need but, whether they argued with their wives that morning. No joke. I think you made a post before kind of, exploring the idea that great men have a great woman behind them? A supportive force of nature, and someone who holds them accountable but also grows and pushes them in a way? I think this is also so so important. You need to be able to "have it out" with your wife or husband but for it not to be relentless and unsolved forever, building into resentment. I think that's one of the hardest things to navigate in long term relationships. Not bottling it up and having it come out in other nasty ways. And also, you just can't have the old good fashioned explosive row when you have kids around.

I feel for you, I really do. Does your brother feel the same way?

x

[Jibralta]

10 hours ago, dias said:

No wonder I have fear of intimacy and I don't like relationships... if you were raised by parents who argued 24/7 since your were born and burdened you with all their stupids problems which simply is pure incompatibility and they shouldn't have married in the first place  it makes sense.....

I get it. My parents weren't exactly the same, but I could tell they resented each other. I saw it a lot when I was growing up, especially in people of their generation. I think that's why I stayed single for so long! I assumed all couples secretly hated each other. 

[dias]

I spoke with a colleague from my old job (the only person I still keep contact with) and she told me that neither Jake or my manager got promoted and my manager is not held in high regard anymore like before and has argued with all the other managers. It sounds petty but it did make my day. They both deserved it. Life lesson for me, more work and bad mood for them. 

I do feel better now. 

[dias]

I feel tired the last couple of weeks, I don't know why. I was sick for 2,5 weeks so that might be it. I mean, I sleep fine, I don't have stress or a lot of work, I don't exercise as much as I used to, I don't understand why I feel low these days. I guess it's a phase and it will pass. I can't always be hyped up....

[dias]

I am getting frustrated with the earthquakes in Athens.

[Jibralta]

How many have you had? Is that unusual? Glad you are ok!

[dias]

21 hours ago, Jibralta said:

How many have you had? Is that unusual? Glad you are ok!

Thanks 🙂 

Too many to count. Every two weeks the same story lately....Usually there is a large one and then a few smaller ones.

It's not unusual but it's always worrisome because apparently you don't know when it's going to happen and how severe it would be. Do you stay in your office working or do you run to the exit? I live on the 4th floor and the higher you are the more you feel it. It's like a seesaw ride but dangerous...

[mylolita]

4 hours ago, dias said:

Thanks 🙂 

Too many to count. Every two weeks the same story lately....Usually there is a large one and then a few smaller ones.

It's not unusual but it's always worrisome because apparently you don't know when it's going to happen and how severe it would be. Do you stay in your office working or do you run to the exit? I live on the 4th floor and the higher you are the more you feel it. It's like a seesaw ride but dangerous...

Oh my! 
 

High winds here and I was feeling dramatic! 
 

Hope you have food in and bottled water and a torch or two if the electric flips out? 
 

x

[dias]

18 hours ago, mylolita said:

Hope you have food in and bottled water and a torch or two if the electric flips out? 

It's not at that stage yet, if it were...well, I don't want to think about it lol

It does get scary sometimes when a large one happens. You just pray no brick or cement lands on your head lol I don't think running to the door is very helpful most of the time since things happen quite fast, personally I get under my desk if it's a large earthquake and that's it. 

[mylolita]

1 hour ago, dias said:

It's not at that stage yet, if it were...well, I don't want to think about it lol

It does get scary sometimes when a large one happens. You just pray no brick or cement lands on your head lol I don't think running to the door is very helpful most of the time since things happen quite fast, personally I get under my desk if it's a large earthquake and that's it. 

Ah Dias! 
 

How long do these things usually last? I’m sure the buildings are built to take these things. 
 

Missing dreary old UK? 
 

x

[mylolita]

Just came across a pic of you holding up the buildings after a couple of quakes! Guess that’s one way to handle it! 
 

x

[dias]

4 hours ago, mylolita said:

How long do these things usually last? I’m sure the buildings are built to take these things. 

Usually seconds, I would say 10 seconds on average. Yes they are built to handle earthquakes but again you never know and you don't want to be the 0.001% who would find out lol 

 

4 hours ago, mylolita said:

Missing dreary old UK? 

Yes. Not for the old job or the weather. 

I do make good money and relatively easy (for me) and I do enjoy the sun and the sea here. Coming straight from a job I worked so much and so intensely this feels like I am on holidays.

The climate has changed. It's the first time Athens experience such a hot winter. It's 19 Celsius today. I know it's too hot for you but it's ideal for me lol 🙂 I am not against climate change hahahaha

However, I do miss the UK mainly because I didn't finish what I started. I had plenty of plans and things I wanted to do there for the next few years. I hate unfinished jobs. Greece is perfect for holidays but it stops there. I like having potential, I like getting better, I like building my own future. I liked my freedom there, I liked travelling around, meeting new people, learning new things. It's like an adventure for me. I like living a life that when I am old and frail I would look back and say yes this was a life worth living with all the ups and downs, the struggles and the happy times. 

And I do miss speaking English a lot as it's my favorite language.

I am having a nice break now whilst also improving my skills, all in one fell swoop. I am content for a year or so. Not for long though, I always want more whether it's adventures, money, travelling, career progression etc. 

Anyway, enough about me, how have you been Lolita? Any wild plans for the night? Fireworks? Fire? Hosting a gathering? New year's resolution?

 

 

[dias]

I have a good feeling about 2023 🙂 Although I always have a good feeling about the future as I am secretly an optimist hahaha

Happy New Year everyone!

[mylolita]

17 minutes ago, dias said:

I have a good feeling about 2023 🙂 Although I always have a good feeling about the future as I am secretly an optimist hahaha

Happy New Year everyone!

I DO TOO! 
 

All the best! 
 

x

[mylolita]

6 hours ago, dias said:

Usually seconds, I would say 10 seconds on average. Yes they are built to handle earthquakes but again you never know and you don't want to be the 0.001% who would find out lol 

 

Yes. Not for the old job or the weather. 

I do make good money and relatively easy (for me) and I do enjoy the sun and the sea here. Coming straight from a job I worked so much and so intensely this feels like I am on holidays.

The climate has changed. It's the first time Athens experience such a hot winter. It's 19 Celsius today. I know it's too hot for you but it's ideal for me lol 🙂 I am not against climate change hahahaha

However, I do miss the UK mainly because I didn't finish what I started. I had plenty of plans and things I wanted to do there for the next few years. I hate unfinished jobs. Greece is perfect for holidays but it stops there. I like having potential, I like getting better, I like building my own future. I liked my freedom there, I liked travelling around, meeting new people, learning new things. It's like an adventure for me. I like living a life that when I am old and frail I would look back and say yes this was a life worth living with all the ups and downs, the struggles and the happy times. 

And I do miss speaking English a lot as it's my favorite language.

I am having a nice break now whilst also improving my skills, all in one fell swoop. I am content for a year or so. Not for long though, I always want more whether it's adventures, money, travelling, career progression etc. 

Anyway, enough about me, how have you been Lolita? Any wild plans for the night? Fireworks? Fire? Hosting a gathering? New year's resolution?

 

 

Dias m’dear, I would embrace your lovely “break” feeling and go with it! People would kill to get off the wheel! 
 

Oh, New Years is tricky for me! We can’t get a baby sitter and even if we could, for the last 5 years it’s always been at home. I like to spend it in the bath, ideally with the husband - ha! We always fall asleep before midnight, it’s like, total tradition now. Sorry if you’re disappointed Dias 🥲 No wild orgies anymore ha!

 

What do you do?

 

x

[dias]

34 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Dias m’dear, I would embrace your lovely “break” feeling and go with it! People would kill to get off the wheel! 
 

Oh, New Years is tricky for me! We can’t get a baby sitter and even if we could, for the last 5 years it’s always been at home. I like to spend it in the bath, ideally with the husband - ha! We always fall asleep before midnight, it’s like, total tradition now. Sorry if you’re disappointed Dias 🥲 No wild orgies anymore ha!

 

What do you do?

 

x

Here with the family until midnight then we are going out with bro to a friend's house. Nothing very wild here either. No orgies with ties and masks lol 

I wish you a great and happy new year for your and your family Lolita 🙂 

[mylolita]

12 minutes ago, dias said:

Here with the family until midnight then we are going out with bro to a friend's house. Nothing very wild here either. No orgies with ties and masks lol 

I wish you a great and happy new year for your and your family Lolita 🙂 

Sounds perfect - best of both worlds!

 

The rain is pelting the house, the coastal wind is up - it’s good weather! Fantastic weather for New Years Eve! I’ve got some candles lit!

 

Ohh and Dias! Thank you! Truly! All the best to you and your robotronic brain as well! I don’t know how you do it! Good feels for next year, exactly like you - or is that because I’m online window shopping?! I don’t know! Anyway, all the best and all that jazz! You never know what’s round corner! 
 

MWAH! Enjoy! I can hear some fireworks! Think they missed the memo it’s midnight when you light the fuse 🥳🤩

 

x

[mylolita]

Oh! And you asked me about New Years Resolutions?! What are yours?

 

Mine are to stop being a b**ch for five minutes past midnight. See if I can do it?! I think that’s asking too much realistically! 
 

x

[mylolita]

If I were truthful, I’d give you a list as long as your arm then change my mind and say but none of it really just whatever let’s make this year a good one and count our blessings and yadda yadda! And have A DRINK! 
 

I can see your Jack Daniels from England! 🤣
 

Cheers!!!

 

x

[dias]

6 minutes ago, mylolita said:

your robotronic brain as well!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 That was a good one 🙂

4 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Mine are to stop being a b**ch for five minutes past midnight. See if I can do it?! I think that’s asking too much realistically! 

LOL make it 4 minutes

Mine is to enjoy the present this year instead of thinking only about the future. 

4 minutes ago, mylolita said:

And have A DRINK! 

This is a good idea. 😎

5 minutes ago, mylolita said:

I can see your Jack Daniels from England! 🤣
 

Cheers!!!

LOL Cheers 🙂 Happy I have you as an online friend 🙂

[mylolita]

2 minutes ago, dias said:

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 That was a good one 🙂

LOL make it 4 minutes

Mine is to enjoy the present this year instead of thinking only about the future. 

This is a good idea. 😎

LOL Cheers 🙂 Happy I have you as an online friend 🙂

Dias, I don’t know if I can do a second babe LOL! 
 

And that’s a good one, it really is! Can I steal it? I can get behind that for sure. I wanna spend less time online and more time in life, if you get what I mean? Soak up everything that bit more, when it’s good and when it’s bad! Let’s see how we do 🥲

 

Ahhh Dias! Same! Same same same! 🥹Thank you! You have always been so supportive, but you don’t sugar coat it or pretend to shield me. I hope one day you can throw me some weights and shout at me like a drill Sargent until I puke 🤣 

 

I admire your drive and the way you think, I wish I could adopt a slice of it for myself. I envy parts of your life and at the same time find them inspiring. I just wish I was addicted to exercise - LOL! Instead of running my mouth off! 
 

Enjoy the party, bros out on the town huh! Double trouble! 
 

x

[dias]

The best soldiers in combat have a rebellious streak... Always the naughty one makes the difference at difficult times 😎 Those who follow rules are for the easy mundane stuff.