Debate/Novel He's Just Not That Into You

[lifeiscash]

Okay I'm sure all of you women out there have been buying this book and flipping those pages like crazy. I'm also pretty sure that you are endulging every little bit of that information straight into your skulls to really understand how a guy thinks and works.

 

See the problem is, is that the guys (or the ones that I have talked with that read the book) do not agree with the author at all on many of his topics when addressing different subjects about us men. However I cannot say I have read the book, but I want to first address the people who have read this book and get their opinions over it. So time to let the posts fly!

 

Is everything he talks about fact or is it straight up fiction?

[Hope75]

There are some things he talks about that seem somewhat true, but I do have to agree that he does not consider every guy and every situation when he offers black & white opinions and solutions that just cannot apply to every situation.

 

All in all the book was amusing, and brought up some valid points, but I have to say that Greg was pretty presumptuous and thought he had an answer for every scenario when obviously there is room for variation.

 

I think his goal was to make us laugh and try to simplify the way a guy thinks, but let's face it, sometimes there is no simple answer.

[michelemybell]

I've never read the book so I can't really offer an opinion, but...

I was walking in the bookstore the other day and did see a new book by the same author called "Be Honest, You're Not That Into Him Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach For the Love You Deserve".

Sounds kinda interesting!

[Empathy]

Michelle, that book definitely sounds VERY interesting to me. I'm one of those people that has difficulty knowing exactly how I feel about others. I'm better at reading other people than I am at reading myself.

[Blue Skittles]

Its a decent book, but yet not meant to be taken word up straight to the point. I think reading it gives a girl a bit of confidence in a relationship or when dating to get up the guts to move on from a relationship that is not good, or dating where the guy is not making an effort. So in that sense it is good.

 

But yet, don't take it straight to the point. For example, where it says "if the guy is not calling you he is not into you", well there could be other reasons he doesn't call, he could be scared, busy, or something else come up. There are so many scenarios that could not possibly be addressed in one book.

 

But its great. I think the bottom line is, girls, quit sitting around waiting for guys to call you, waiting for him to make moves, just get out there and have fun and whatever happens happens. That book seriously changed the way I date people now... I've been on the dating scene for like 6 months, and I'm not gonna sit around and wait for just one guy anymore, I get out a lot more, and if a guy doesn't call me, its really not that big of a deal, its like "ok move on" and maybe he'll call 2 weeks later and by then i'm so busy i could care less if we go out or not.. I think its just if its meant to happen it will. Not all guys can be perfect, so there are gonna be complicated situations, but if you don't put up with it you don't put up with it. Its all about living your life and one day that special guy will walk in and everything will be perfect and you will know.

 

thats my opinions.

[chai714]

I've read that book mostly because of the hype. I can tell you a few things - one is that it was written for the mainstream public - most of which is clueless when it comes to knowing how people work.

 

Much of the book is common sense, the other is plain B.S. Each and every person is different. Obviously, it doesn't take a book to tell you that a person isn't "into you" if he/she is not communicating on a regular basis. Save yourself some money and just read the forums here. You learn lots (if you choose to), and best of all, it's free.

[jurupa]

From what I have heard about the book I rather have girls read the posts here at "eNotAlon" than read the book. The book is way to general and trys to get into detail with out going into it in great depth. I know if a girl uses what she learned in that book, she will get so confused and possibly angry that she may have a field day with the book. Becuase of who I am as a guy.

[DN]

I allways have a problem with this sort of book - like 'The Rules' for instance. Generalities rarely help in specific cases and can easily mislead you into misinterpreting someone's actions

[RayKay]

I have read it, and it was a fun, fast read. He has a nice lighthearted approach and some of the 'letters' he responds to are hilarious.

 

It is general, and some of it IS true. I mean, if a guy is cheating on you he is "not that into you" and you deserve better. Same if he abuses you, had absolutely no time for you, does not treat you well. And if he does not call you except once a month for a booty call, well, you are not the 'One'.

 

See, many women from what I see and have experienced tend to get into a state where they start making excuses for their partners bad behaviour. We over time begin to believe we don't deserve any better. We think well, if I just am patient and love him more, he will come around. This book can kind of give you a "wake up jolt" that builds you up a bit to see things from an outside perspective and make you realize "wait, I DO deserve better!". That line that he sleeps with other women but loves ME IS "B.S"! Things like that. Because while from an outside perspective it seems straightforward, when you are in it, your judgement is often cloudy.

 

Is the book going to apply to every single person? No, and no book really would. But is it a good read, yes. Can it serve a purpose for some women and jolt them into reality, yes.

[amilasiu]

I agree with RayKay - the book, although general etc etc, did give me the necessary push to reexamine my relationships and my excuses for his bad behaviour. So it helped me. I guess, no relationship book is a dating bible.

[lifeiscash]

I recently read this article from link removed, I am providing a link so you can check it out. Its a great question from a man who thinks this new book is WRONG. What do you all think?

 

link removed

[DN]

I think the Doc is selling his own theories which are just as crackpot as those he criticises.