One year slump

[SummerRoberts]

One year with my boyfriend and I’m not feeling the spark. 
he quit his job and is now working something making much less but not making him any happier and just between the two now. 
we don’t do anything anymore. He needs the money so he didn’t come with me to my dads wedding and worked instead. 
does ask about my day much. We’re in our early 30s and talking about settling down once he gets his feet on the ground again but he doesn’t even make me cum. I’ve asked him about it a couple times and when I get a wax he still doesn’t go down on me. 
 

feeling torn because i love him. I can see myself marrying him but being comfortable not being head over heels.

[DarkCh0c0]

So after one year there's no spark, he takes you for granted and you are incompatible.

No wonder you're not head over heels...

You need to be happy and since you're not getting much out of this relationship, you need to leave and stop wasting your time. A better match is out there for you.

So, just be honest with yourself about this and don't look back. Love is not the only ingredient for a healthy relationship. There's reliability, care, romance, loyalty, compatibility, chemistry, ect.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, SummerRoberts said:

  when I get a wax he still doesn’t go down on me. 
 I can see myself marrying him but being comfortable not being head over heels.

Sorry this is happening. It's understandable you're building up resentment. You're sexually frustrated from a selfish lover and sexually incompatible.

Add to this being in your 30s and he still doesn't know what he wants to do when he grows up.

There's no future with someone who you're not sexually happy with and who's financially irresponsible.

It's only a year. Consider cutting your losses. Being complacent and settling is not the same as being contented and happy.

[Batya33]

I think it's because you see him not putting in effort to keep the spark going/revive the spark. Why did he take another job like this? If there's no specific time line for marriage and given your ages and his obvious lack of motivation I might consider not investing more time in him/this.  I'm sorry.

[smackie9]

The honeymoon phase is over....this is when you have a good look at your relationship. It has ran it's course. You don't stay because you have love, you need fulfillment, compatibility, satisfaction, etc. What has happened is normal. Just because there was talk of a future doesn't mean it's a promise....it's just talk. Sorry but there are times when it's best to cut your losses. 

[Rose Mosse]

11 hours ago, SummerRoberts said:

One year with my boyfriend and I’m not feeling the spark. 
he quit his job and is now working something making much less but not making him any happier and just between the two now. 
we don’t do anything anymore. He needs the money so he didn’t come with me to my dads wedding and worked instead. 
does ask about my day much. We’re in our early 30s and talking about settling down once he gets his feet on the ground again but he doesn’t even make me cum. I’ve asked him about it a couple times and when I get a wax he still doesn’t go down on me. 
 

feeling torn because i love him. I can see myself marrying him but being comfortable not being head over heels.

Talk with him as a couple if you're interested in making this work. Otherwise, if you have no interest communicating it's over. He's not making an effort and you may likely have checked out already.

[anonomousguy12]

Have you spoken to him about your frustration sexually or his lack of effort? What was his response? 

[SummerRoberts]

28 minutes ago, anonomousguy12 said:

Have you spoken to him about your frustration sexually or his lack of effort? What was his response? 

I have before about 4 months ago and he said he wasn’t meaning to be selfish 

 

I asked why he’s the only one who cums

(I’m super sexual, I always have been and I’ve never had a sexual partner not make me cum until now  tbh) 

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, SummerRoberts said:

I have before about 4 months ago and he said he wasn’t meaning to be selfish .I asked why he’s the only one who cums

End it. There's no reason for sexual selfishness. It's hard to believe you put up with that this long.

Talking at him will not fix immaturity, irresponsibility or selfishness. They are personality flaws and character issues. You will be the 'mother' in the relationship.

[DarkCh0c0]

1 hour ago, SummerRoberts said:

he wasn’t meaning to be selfish 

But his actions spoke otherwise.

You can do better girl. You deserve better!

[SummerRoberts]

1 hour ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

But his actions spoke otherwise.

You can do better girl. You deserve better!

I’m scared because it’s taken me like 5 years to find a partner 🥺

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, SummerRoberts said:

I’m scared because it’s taken me like 5 years to find a partner 🥺

Scared of being alone or how long it will take is never ever a reason to stay with someone.  Ever.  The goal shouldn't be to find a "partner" but a partner who is the right match for you.  Big difference.  Also just because it took a long time doesnt' mean it will next time -you can choose how you are going to be proactive in finding a good match.

[melancholy123]

1 hour ago, SummerRoberts said:

I’m scared because it’s taken me like 5 years to find a partner 🥺

NEVER settle.  That is what you are doing.  You waste your life when you settle for something you know is not right for you.