We broke up and I miss her. Should I tell her that?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I broke up about 2 weeks ago. We were together for almost 2 years. I miss her so much, she could be mean, harsh and at the end is blamed me for our breakup. She basically said I wasn’t good enough because I don’t make enough money and didn’t act motivated to do better. She said, it killed her attraction to me. Told me, we should have broke up a while ago. She held on because she wanted things to work. 
 

I knew their was issues so we talked about it and came up with a plan to help the issues. Me pursuing my masters degree. I agreed and started the process. A week later she writes me a letter telling me all the things she loves about me and how she’s looking forward to our wedding day. A week and a half later she broke up with me.

told me she wants to be friends, it said like it was an obligation then later in a more loving fashion. Said that she lost attraction to me. Said, she disliked certain things about me. Which is funny because in the letter, she said she loved it.

all that being said, I do acknowledge I need to up my game. Find a better job or pick up a second. She has a great job that makes great money, I’m still working on that. I guess she didn’t want to wait for me.

After we broke up, I fought for her, twice but was rebuked. Told a lot of things about our relationship she didn’t like. If I was to quiet around her friends etc. But I think that was just frustration for the situation.

I acknowledged that I needed to advance myself and she was happy to hear it but she said I needed to go through this alone without her. 
I told her ok, she also said that doesn’t mean we will get back together. Maybe we will maybe not it needs to happen organically she said. 
she then deleted or archived some of our photos on Instagram not all. It’s still some up, most involving other people or unique locations. The once’s of us that looked more romantic, birthday post etc. Deleted. 
She then told me it was a bit childish of me to delete my Instagram. I did it for perseverance, but I reactivated after she said that. I haven’t deleted any of our photos yet.

she still contacts me randomly, telling me funny things that happen that she told I would find funny, show recommendations and pictures of the puppies. I don’t reach out to her. 
she’s been so active on Instagram lately, always posting something new, she didn’t do that alot while we were dating. I was thinking it was so she could clear me from the front point of her timeline. But maybe I’m over thinking it. 
I was told she’s probably online all the time posting so she doesn’t have with our breakup. I don’t know if I believe that. Though she did tell me, she likes to stay active and something always on her mind or tv to keep her mind off of us. 
it’s been 2 weeks and it’s funny how she was so quick to try and get rid of my stuff by bringing them to me. But she hasn’t mentioned it lately. 
i miss her so much and I’m working my butt off to try and up my financial gain. 
should I tell her that I miss her, I miss the family we created? 
it’s on my mind all the time. 
I had a girl recently flirt with me and I completely shut down. Went to area alone and just looked at pictures of my ex. I don’t want anyone else. 
What should I do?

[Rose Mosse]

That was quite rude and inappropriate for her to be calling you childish if you preferred to delete your Instagram account. Do what you need to do. 

Being friends works for her. It doesn’t work for you. She fell out of love with you and isn’t romantically interested in you any longer. Sending you random photos is to help her alleviate her dumper’s guilt. It doesn’t help you. 

The quicker you’re able to remove her and ask for privacy, the better you’ll be able to process the break up. Please do not lean into belittling and rude comments from her about what you do with your accounts. You’re too broken-hearted right now but you may realize later on you were not compatible and she doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Move on and focus on your studies and work. 

[MissCanuck]

36 minutes ago, Guest Anonymous said:

should I tell her that I miss her, I miss the family we created? 

I don't think this will make any difference. 

I'm sorry, OP, but she sounds very done. You have already tried to get her back and it didn't work. Mentally, she is already romantically detached from you. I think she is fine being friends but no longer wants more than that. 

It would be best to delete her off all your social media so you don't one day stumble across something that really hurts to see. 

[adviceplease2]

Once she told you that she didn't think you were good enough.....its over....do not, do not, do not tell her you miss her.

 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Guest Anonymous said:

. We were together for almost 2 years.

Sorry this happened. How old is she? Were you living together? 

Improve your situation for yourself, not for anyone else. 

It's doubtful that not enrolling in a master's program is the reason for the breakup.

Do you both live with your parents? Do you have a job, your own place, a car and support yourself?

It's still fresh, so stop scanning her social media. Stop dragging out the breakup by being friends "fighting for her"(whatever that means) or talking about wedding days and puppies as if you have children together.

[Anonymous]

We always treated our dogs like kids because neither of us wanted kids. It was a live decision that both of us made before we met one another. We both had our reasons 

no we didn’t live together we spent 2 days together a week. 
 

I do live at home, she bought her own place. She took money from her parents to buy here’s but she is against me doing the same because she believes mine comes with emotional strings. I have my own car and support myself. 
yes I have a job, I just got a better one almost 5 months ago. She was happy for me. 

I know you are right. I’m just having hard time getting over her and the life we wanted together 

[Wiseman2]

58 minutes ago, Guest Anonymous said:

I do live at home, she bought her own place. 

It sounds like it became incompatible for many reasons including her more independent life and readiness for more commitment.

However that's no reason for her to push you to a lifestyle she wants rather than what you are capable of. Step back and do not contact her or grovel.

[SooSad33]

11 hours ago, Guest Anonymous said:

she’s been so active on Instagram lately, always posting something new, she didn’t do that alot while we were dating. I was thinking it was so she could clear me from the front point of her timeline. But maybe I’m over thinking it. 
I was told she’s probably online all the time posting so she doesn’t have with our breakup. I don’t know if I believe that.

Try not to worry about all she is doing... If she's acting out this way to try & get things out & accept etc, then so be it!

You do your way, she'll do hers.

 

11 hours ago, Guest Anonymous said:

She basically said I wasn’t good enough because I don’t make enough money and didn’t act motivated to do better. She said, it killed her attraction to me. Told me, we should have broke up a while ago.

this is what you need to realize and accept.  Sadly, her attraction had died off 😕 .

And no, is best to NOT remain 'friends', it'll just prolong YOUR accepting/ healing.  You need to cut it clean now and be totally done.

And no need to reach out & explain how you miss her etc.. I'm sure she knows that - and won't change anything now.

So, focus on yourself now and do what you want to do with your life.. If you want to continue your studies, then do that.  If you want a different line of work or job, then do this, for YOU. ( No worries on all she's said your way, she's no longer involved with you...).

I found journaling helped me through, I'd 'vent' that way each day, saying all I wanted to that way - not to my ex. Try to keep busy, hang with friends/family.. hobby, sports etc.

Sorry for your pains.. I know, it hurts 😕 .