Mrs

[Dowm]

Husband left after being together for nearly 40yrs.  I have had to move to a place I am a stranger in.  I have no job as he agreed that aged 50 I  could give up my job as our sons where through Uni and settled in their careers.   He bought me my dog as my 50th BDay present.   I always did everything in the house x garden anyway.  

I am finding it so hard to begin again.  I could help my sons with childminding.   But how do I mix with new folk.  

Ours was an army life, so moved around.  My 2 closest friends live at opposite ends of the country.  I am so down   I am 59. 

[Wiseman2]

18 minutes ago, Dowm said:

Husband left after being together for nearly 40yrs.   I am 59. 

Sorry this happened. Are you legally divorced? Are the assets completely dissolved and divided including pension plans and retirement accounts?

Does he pay alimony? Have you applied for social security? Do you live in a senior community, apartment building or condo complex? 

Volunteer, get a side job, join some groups and clubs, get involved in sports and fitness. Take classes and courses. Get involved with local events and activities to make friends.

[Batya33]

I'm sorry you're in this situation.  My sister is 60 and divorced in her 40s.  Empty nester and was a SAHM for 20 years - 4 kids. What she did was train in a new field (health care related) and she loved singing and performing so as of late she's taken up karaoke - she lives in a 55 and up community and they do it poolside so she's met people that way.  She's kind of introverted so she's cool being on her own and sees two of her kids and their kids regularly (she moved to be closer to them).   

I'm also a big fan of volunteering.  I'm 55 and pre covid I did (I had my child in my early 40s so he keeps me busy!).  Good luck!

[SooSad33]

Sorry you are having to go through all of this 😞 . Is a shock to the system, I know.

But in ways is a 'new beginning', and many have experienced this. ( ex's mother has). She went from their home to an apartment a few min's away , in another town.  She was employed though. 

I have been in my place for years, but have a friend who moved here because his ex was in this location ( for his daughter)... he joined a 'local singles grp' to meet other's around here.  I did as well and we have a few decent friends doing this.

If you like crafts, maybe a craft group, or something sports-wise?

If you do want to work now, look into something maybe not too demanding- or even volunteer somewhere ( eg animal shelter, food bank, etc).  Something just for YOU.

Meanwhile, take care of yourself ❤️ , eat well, get your sleep and is time for focus on just you. ( I needed some prof help- therapy for a while. And I journaled a lot to 'get it out'.)

 

[melancholy123]

You need to get yourself out there.  Volunteer somewhere, get a part time job that lets you be with people.  Dont sit around and stagnate.

If you aren't getting alimony or support money or some sort, talk to your lawyer.